hi y'all, sorry I disappeared from RP things. honestly I don't even know who would be reading this since I have kind of a thing about Plurk and asked people not to add me only for the game.

but I don't have anywhere online that I just talk about life these days so I guess it can be here again for now. I moved to Mastodon for a while and really liked it there but couldn't get anybody to really join me and social media is kind of pointless if you're just talking to yourself.

Anyway, I miss being a cranky Sith, I hope I can get back to it soon. I don't know if I'm going back to Eastbound proper or possibly just doing some PSLs. I've been pretty much Going Through It since about August lmao. I was diagnosed with epilepsy last month but other than that doctors don't know what's up with me or why I'm suddenly having seizures.

it's been a little surreal. before all this started I'd never been to a hospital to so much as even have my tonsils out. only stepped foot in any at all because several relatives are health care workers. now I'm scheduled for my third MRI next month and supposed to see a fancy neuromuscular specialist doctor in sightly less than 2 weeks.

writing and RP is usually a soothing activity, something I would do to calm down. but it's hard for it to be a comfort when a seizure symptom that I keep having is words and writing will suddenly stop making sense. it's only a few seconds each time but it's scary. I'm a translator, writing is my livelihood. if I were to lose that I don't know what I'd do.

and I don't have any answers about basically anything. with the amount of scans and shit they've done on me at this point, we can at least say I don't have something big and obvious like a big ol brain tumor, but that's about it.

I am really lucky that I have some amount of family who can support me through this, but they're not made of money either. just a lot of uncertainty in my life right now.

there's also some amount of suspicion that my seizures might be connected to menstruation, which, apparently that's a thing that exists! who knew! definitely not me. anyway as a sexually inactive asexual nonbinary AFAB person I have obsessively avoided the gyno my whole life lmao and I live in a really conservative area.

I have zero expectation that if this ends in me being forced to go see a gyno, that I'll be able to find a respectful one. I'm also not out to my family, who are also conservative. the idea of this being the juncture at which I'm forced to explain shit to them, so they understand why I don't want to go to just any old gyno, is frankly horrifying.

boy you guys I really wish it was February and I was preparing to make Eleven and Wangji and Mingyu's life hard some more lmao.

I am in the midst of trying to find some writing inspiration again right at the moment because I could really use something remotely productive to do with the copious amounts of time I have right now to sit around twiddling my thumbs. hard to take commissions when you're not sure whether you're going to be able to consistently read or type.

tbh I was only barely keeping up with the pace of the plot at Eastbound even before all this started so I anticipate it being hard to come back, but I had a great time there and it did absolutely reignite the RP bug for me. I have a weekly D&D group but man I missed having regular freeform RP going on. DWRP never fully clicked with me,

it's immensely hard to find a good game, but when it works it really really works.

on the bright side I bought myself an excellent dumb shirt. it doesn't count as a true Ugly Xmas Sweater if it's not genuinely embarrassing lmao.

I still enjoy a good star war, currently forcing myself through the Light of the Jedi novel being vaguely butthurt through every page that it can't just be set in SWTOR era. 😂

and I owe Solar both a tag & a playthrough of Dragon Quest 11 which I already bought some time ago... carpal tunnel permitting, SWTOR and GW2 both have expansions coming out soon, so all that stuff is on the list...

also you guys oh my god on a trip back from the city for a doctor visit I got to visit a restaurant I haven't been to in a zillion years and had THE MOST AMAZING chicken tortilla soup which I had been having a craving for for like a month,

and is there anything more satisfying than finally getting to have something you've been wanting to shove in your mouth forever omfg??????

it was fantastic lmao. so it is, at least, not all doom and gloom over here.

I haven't wanted to bother/accidentally pressure you, but I've been hoping for the best for you

😊 I appreciate it

and I appreciate your patience. 😅

no worries. I hope you enjoy dq11 whenever you get to play it!

so far I've only seen the veeeery beginning but I liked that little teeny part quite a bit 😂

pls feel free to talk at me about it if you feel so compelled. I love reading playthrough reactions

of course!!!! that's half the reason I bought it tbh