Director Ham
2021-12-01T00:25:22.000Z 2021-12-01T00:28:34.000Z
[venting to move out of the discord vents] [dark thoughts, ED, and alc]
latest #16
Director Ham
2021-12-01T00:28:11.000Z
I think I'm just very fucking burnt out. The feeling is just like "I wish I was dead" despite not being suicidal and still being paranoid about everything. I'm laying on the ground in my work clothes currently. I let myself eat today, but when I remembered the type of food I ate, I regretted it.
Director Ham
2021-12-01T00:30:07.000Z
I want everything to stop, my schedule shouldn't be overwhelming, but I am very stressed about weeks to come.
Director Ham
2021-12-01T00:41:40.000Z
Trying so hard to not give into some very agoraphobic feelings every second of every day
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Director Ham
2021-12-01T01:53:41.000Z
Sobbing bc my mother made peanut butter fudge bc she cares about us but I wish she didn't. Also bc I used to have it more as a kid and now I don't even know who that is anymore
Director Ham
2021-12-01T01:54:52.000Z
I wish I wouldn't wake up
Ylla14
2021-12-01T02:04:19.000Z
we love and appreciate you, and we're glad you're here
Hannah (CA)
2021-12-01T05:37:24.000Z
How are you doing?
Hannah (CA)
2021-12-01T05:37:51.000Z
Hope you have a good night rest and tomorrow is a new day <3
Director Ham
2021-12-01T13:44:03.000Z
I feel slightly more rested but like I could sleep way longer if I had time, and still starting pretty low. Kind of like I did yesterday too. Thank you both tho
Annika
2021-12-02T00:08:01.000Z
Have you earned any vacation time with Seaworld that you could use after the holidays to take a little time off?
Annika
2021-12-02T00:08:09.000Z
You deserve a break Ham
Tara
2021-12-02T00:12:18.000Z
Director Ham
2021-12-02T02:36:10.000Z
not really I don't get pto until June, but I did at least get a week off approved in early January for my race weekend. So even tho I'll still be physically exerting myself it'll be a bit of a break
Director Ham
2021-12-02T02:37:28.000Z
I'm feeling better after having a nice day off at Disney with Kitty. Gonna ride that good vibe wave as long as I can
Hannah (CA)
2021-12-02T03:40:20.000Z
Logan
2021-12-02T17:54:45.000Z
Exercise good for brain too
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