[work] I know that if you quit a job every time they let a mediocre white man get whatever he wants you'll spend your life unemployed, but is it a mistake to quit my (previously loved) job because they won't tell the token mediocre white man he can't have everything he wants?
Context:
I've complained to a bunch of you about how my (female) coworker & I were given an art task because we have art backgrounds. MWM Complains that he was left out for being a man so they assumed he didn't have the fine motor skills. Look, that's fine. People do assume men have bad writing and feeling left out sucks. That's not any he was left out tho
I've complained to a bunch of you about how my (female) coworker & I were given an art task because we have art backgrounds. MWM Complains that he was left out for being a man so they assumed he didn't have the fine motor skills. Look, that's fine. People do assume men have bad writing and feeling left out sucks. That's not any he was left out tho
Because MWM has a very fragile ego, they tell him he can do it too. Honestly that's fine. If he sucks at it, we can show him how to not suck.
What's not fine, imo, is that they did not tell him that the reason female coworker and I were given this project is because we have degrees and previous job experience that made them choose us for the task.
What's not fine, imo, is that they did not tell him that the reason female coworker and I were given this project is because we have degrees and previous job experience that made them choose us for the task.
As a result, he is under the impression that he is just as skilled as we are for this task, if not moreso.
He did the task yesterday on his own without us. It was terrible. He did not follow the instructions. Female coworker had to throw them in the trash and redo them.
He did the task yesterday on his own without us. It was terrible. He did not follow the instructions. Female coworker had to throw them in the trash and redo them.
I told HR, who is admittedly a friend, that I felt this scenario was inappropriate and I wanted to make a formal complaint about the situation. IMO, if you have two highly qualified female employees, but an unqualified male employees is given their tasks because of "reverse gender discrimination," the end result is discrimination against the females.
Again, if he had been competent at the task, I would feel very differently. I'm not the kind of person who won't acknowledge the negative effects of sexism on men.
When I complained, the task was given back to the qualified employees. However, nothing is being done about the actual problems I have:
When I complained, the task was given back to the qualified employees. However, nothing is being done about the actual problems I have:
1. HR did not inform him that my coworker and I were uniquely qualified, which I think they absolutely should have done, regardless of gender issues, in this situation.
2. Nothing is being said to MWM about his inability to consider that his female coworkers possessed a skill that he does not. I feel that this assumption on his part is, in fact, sexist.
2. Nothing is being said to MWM about his inability to consider that his female coworkers possessed a skill that he does not. I feel that this assumption on his part is, in fact, sexist.
Having your skill set, something you studied for years, have a degree in, and have held jobs doing, dismissed as being "because you're a woman" feels bad. Everyone knows it feels bad. You shouldn't have to be told it feels bad.
I do not lack this skill. I have to fight for work in this field because it is overwhelmingly populated by white men--almost 90% white men. This job is not in "my field," it's in one that is less gender segregated. And yet here I am, dealing with the same old bullshit.
I told HR that if this persisted, I would leave, and was told that if I feel he, my supervisor, is being sexist I should tell him directly.
I don't mind doing this, in fact I revel in this. However have been advised my entire adult life that this should be handled by HR or a third party. I don't feel optimistic about results.
I think i might have to quit.
I don't mind doing this, in fact I revel in this. However have been advised my entire adult life that this should be handled by HR or a third party. I don't feel optimistic about results.
I think i might have to quit.
Bonus context: the church I attended growing up IN THE FUCKING 90-00s loved talking about how women shouldn't work, should care for their husband's, belong in the kitchen. It is completely insane to me that people don't take sexism seriously.