I came back to plurk last night because he contacted me scared about the appointment and I was feeling stressed and missing you guys, but neither of us was expecting THIS.

I'm still in shock, and I had counseling today so I'm working through it. The main takeaway is "one day at a time"

but....damn

I'm gonna go through an entire box of kleenex today, and I'm not sure I'm actually even grieving yet. Just...kind of stunned and unsure.

....also, now my nose hurts. :-/

I'm so so sorry to hear this. My grandmother had Alzheimers so I'm very familiar with how hard it is, but I can't imagine having that kind of diagnosis so unexpectedly. If you ever need to talk I'm always around.

Thanks. Right now I'm in the "figure out what needs to happen so you can move forward" stage. I don't like it

It's weird. She was bad...but stable? Like, non-verbal but calm and eating and still independently mobile. And that was 4 weeks ago

And now she's not eating, talking constantly and randomly, and apparently...end stage? I don't really know what that means or what to expect. And that's not really something that can be answered until Hospice comes in and does their assessment

so now it's just....waiting.

I hope they don't keep you waiting too long. It'll probably take a while to process, just take it easy and keep an eye on your stepdad ;; I'm sure he appreciates you so much.

I just sent an email to my department letting them know that I am officially going to need help, especially since we can't predict what the next few weeks will be like.

Gotta figure out how teaching will go tomorrow, but then I can focus on getting help with grading and other things so I can deal with this a bit more clearly

I'm so sorry - that's incredibly difficult.

I can't imagine the shock and grief you must be going through right now. Emailing your department was a good idea. Please take care of yourself.

thank God for counselors. I couldn't actually answer her today when she asked what I needed, so she walked me through an action plan for the day. it helped immensely

that's really hard, I'm soryr.

huhu. so sorry to hear that. It's difficult to see someone affected by it. We can only wish it never happens to more people.

oh gosh, i am so sorry to hear that

i'm glad your counselor was there for you but that is so so hard. wish i could give you a big hug <3