Today’s a bad day. Like an actually bad day, not a “my depression is eating my soul again and I need help”. More that I’m sleep deprived, can hardly stomach eating, my brain has begun to fragment and my mind literally stops as I stare at my table trying to bring my focus back
Just noticed my hands are shaking, my vision unfocuses easier, and I’m stuttering
oh no ;;
/nuzzles D:
Ah. So. Update
I have learned something about myself today
I am, in fact, capable of having panic attacks.
And they’re fucking terrifying
That’s new
I’ve still got chills so I’m looking forward to my bed
oh Eli /loves
yeah they are terrifying
yeah they are terrifying
/slowly curls up on
panic attacks are awful,im so sorry
I really really wish I had someone who could hold me right now
Too much adrenaline tonight when I was already stretched to my limit just functioning through my shift
time to hug a cat? /sends you mental hugs
Sharp, piercing, unexpected noises in my vicinity are my trigger
Which....for a normal one and done event? Startled but perfectly okay.
For maintenance to be jackhammering metal a literal stone’s throw away from me...
I am absolutely going to hug my cats.
I feel like I wanna cry again, and I am trying to find the energy to get out of my car
yes cats at least something
I’m still feeling the adrenaline crash
ugh
Chills, tingles, and just a completely empty pool of energy
Whatever spell slots I had left were ripped from me
remember to drink something, water good but juice also good
I have Arizona tea ;;
But lots of water
If it weren’t for my cats I would seriously consider just napping right here
But they need love and attention and I wanna touch something soft
yes getting home good
tea also good!!
Well, it’s been almost an hour. Why do I have to live upstairs?
ugh
I’m so tired. Kindve a flat mood, and certainly didn’t get enough sleep again
I’ve got the perfect attendees keeping me company in the best way they know how
/cuddles they love you and so do we
hugs gently
Definitely not recovered, couldn’t really sleep OR eat.
Kind of on a hair trigger
Hope it settles by Thursday
hopefully
body please let him live
body please let him live
kikibug13 /lays on
/curls around
Got another couple of hours. Weird dream.
The world feels kinda weird
Like I’ve laid on it too long and it developed all the wrinkles and texture of what it was lying on
I feel like that might be concerning but I’m also tired and very ‘huh, that’s interesting’ about it
hugs