like idk what this is but I don't like it

I'm also tired so I should be in bed

maybe it's because I literally have to say 'no' to things because I just don't want to

and my brain says this is selfish and I should just do it anyway.

like. meh. I just don't care. I'd rather do x than y.

I'm supposed to do y. I said I'd do y.

but I'd rather do x and I made plans to do x

downside to x: I have to get up early and do some waiting around

downside to y: it eats my soul.

/shrugs.

I could just be a bad person and not do it because that's what most humans I know do.

I could just say I'm not doing y but then they won't like me anymore.

and IDK how I feel about that if anything

I also read a fic in an attempt at escapism and just had to click out of it.