i'm not any good in the ways that matter. other people don't enjoy playing with me; they drop threads after one or two comments. and they're not strangers; they're friends.

i can't think of solid ideas but i also suck at working with complete lack of structure, i'm terrible at coming up with big plot or little things, i try to write "show not tell" and that backfires because my tags aren't "meaty" enough

then i try to "tell not show" and end up with novels that no one responds to because my terrible writing is on display even more

no one seeks me out to play

i just! don't do anything right. and it hurts. so why don't i just fucking quit. it's not like i haven't tried.

and i'm terrible at connecting with people anymore, so no one feels compelled to play with me because we don't have a strong enough connection for them to consider me

i used to be able to do these things. i don't know what happened

i don't think there is anything to say
i'm frustrated and tired and hurt and there's no blame to place except on my own lack of ability, i suppose

knowing me, i won't be able to stay away forever
i love rp too much
but i don't see how the situation would end up being any different
i'm shit at being a part of a community. i don't have the energy to keep up.

oh hon, I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling this way it seems so frustrating

it's incredibly frustrating.

even those i'm closest to RP-wise are unable to play with me because of these things, so i feel...impotent and useless

i don't want to give you advice you didn't ask for, and i know that when it gets like this it's really easy to focus in on all the negatives, and i'm so sorry you're feeling this way... but if you want to talk, you can hit me with a pp. it sounds like maybe a break might be good? even if it's just for a short while, to sort through feelings and things

I'm always open to advice. I'll pp you