and......idk, man

she was like my best friend. we fought and made up and just. we were thick as thieves and I just adored her.

and then she decided to move to florida-- which she and her then husband were not on the same page on

and she gave him an ultimatum. nick is a super nice guy, but he also has a lot of insecurities.

she moved to florida. said: "you can come, or you can stay, but I'm going." and....and they were married

it was wild. i told her it didn't seem like a very good plan. it wasn't my business, but...I told her I was worried about her.

she's dipped her feet into some shady shit. on top of that, she and nick were married for a year before she decided she had to be in florida.

she said she'd begged and begged and he wouldn't cave-- he always had an excuse as to why they couldn't go. mainly that he wanted a sturdy job that could transfer well, and....i mean, he's been in texas his whole life..who wouldn't have some small insecurity about moving to entirely new place???

they started just...i...i guess 'long distance marriage.' which, as you might have guessed, didn't work out.

jess disappeared completely. she was in town for a weekend to get her things and pick up the dog, and then just...vanished.

from everyone's life. from nicks, from her mom, who lives here, and from mine too.

bun hates her. seeing his best friend so crumbled and defeated was super hard on him.

in addition, jess may have been seeing someone on the side-- which means she was cheating on Nick. and. god. that's just the worst. bun said he wouldn't want her back in our house. he doesn't want to see her, and I certainly don't blame him...

fast forward to the present, she's in town and wants to hang out with her 'bestie' and IT'S BEEN AN ACTUAL WHOLE ASS YEAR AND.....

.....i don't know. i am all about picking things up after they drop off the face of the earth. i have friends who i can leave for several months at a time and then reach out and be like "HEYYYYY" like nothing even changed.

she's fallen into some bad habits. she's not well.

needless to say, she leaves tomorrow and more than likely wants to get lunch or something before she drives back home

it's about a 16 hour drive, from what I gather. maybe a little longer.

i just don't think i can do it. i'm generally anxious. my heart beat is trying to audition for drummer in a band that I've never heard of.

i just want to sleep. and also pewish.

Well fuck.

Yeah, I don't blame you for being freaked out, that whole situation is A Lot.