I fucking hate myself so much specially the part that i can't do things without a reason to

I hate that I quit university because I was abandoned by the reason that made me woke up 6am every morning

...whatever

this really leads to no where

I just hope I'm not such a man

but if I try to smile so hard, is that just lying to myself?

is that just acting like the person that I want to be while I'm really not?

I just

really done too much mistake that are hard to retrieve

even the BIG thought I have these days are simply almost impossible since I don't have such ability

what made walking so hard? i wonder.