doing sugar-free february, which is no bad thing, but I'm a great big baby and just spent a solid ten minutes staring at the foods i'm not allowed to have until, thick with emotion, I finally walked away

I'm sure that's supposed to feel like a victory but mostly I'm annoyed, embarrassed, and concerned!

Sugar addiction is a thing, and maybe it's more of a problem for me than I want it to be. I just want to eat a fucking chocolate bar so bad. I don't even like chocolate very much, but for the last two days it's become, like, The Only Thing I've Ever Wanted somehow.

Zero Sugar Sodas are surprisingly good though! That transition hasn't bothered me in the least. But hey, maybe the reason I'm craving chocolate so much is because I was addicted to the sugar in the soda, and now I'm not getting a sweet fix there my body is desperately looking to get it elsewise.

Red bell peppers are a great snack! A good number of crisps are sugar free, and salted or plain popcorn is fine! Buttered crackers are okay if you get the right brands. I like all of these things!

but I want fucking chocolate

I hate being this grouchy and sad about something so ridiculous and silly.

I've tried to be a little kinder to the sugar brat inside myself by thinking 'well hey, you're having a period, of course you're moody and want something tasty to cheer yourself up'.

But then it's like BUT WHY THE HELL AM I HAVING A PERIOD THOUGH, AND WHY WON'T IT STOP ALREADY

So! I'm menopausal now! Courtesy of my cancer treatment, hahaha.

Since I went in for my major treatment in September, I have had:
- the period that started during treatment, was paused by hormone medicine, and returned with a vengeance once said medicine ceased
- nothing for a few weeks
- suddenly a month of hot flushes that stopped just as abruptly
- nothing for ages
- a few days of very light spotting, leading into...

- now, a period that's lasted a week so far and is just as heavy as when it began. It's honestly not too bad, but it's more than what I've been used to and it still isn't showing much sign of slowing down.

SO IT'S JUST. NOT IMPROVING MY MOOD, IS ALL.

just get out, period. get out, sugar craving. let me be a person rather than an embarrassment. just wanna be good damn it.

That sounds so rough about the periods gah

I haven't gone COMPLETELY sugar free but I found that just cutting back on sugar has both a) done me a lot of good and meant I wanted to just senselessly binge on cookies haha. It's rough. ;A;

vandesdelca thank you for understanding ;_; I honestly think it is doing good, or that it will do good in the long term, but it's just so frustrating in the mean time.

I tried making sugar free peanut cookies yesterday and it's a nice idea but I can not express strongly enough just how badly they turned out. just. unspeakable evil was in that biscuit.

but I think I'll try again in a few days, with a different recipe. never give up!

Sugarfree cookies are A Challenge. We all reduced our sugar intake in my house and it's been an Adventure in finding ways to still have cookies.

If you have any recommendations please throw them my way!

Meanwhile, another emotional taut day, but my two year old nephew talked to me on the phone to tell me "daddy is a buttface, uncle charlie is a buttface, you're a princess, and I'm batman"

So, you know, life isn't all bad.