As things currently stand, I do still want to at least make one more good-faith stab at scoping out a new game, buuuuuut I've gotten so negative and pessimistic (as well as just out of it) that I'm kinda my own worst enemy at this point

It probably is best that I take some amount of a break rather than keep worrying about it right now, even if I still sorta don't wholly wanna, and even if it's just like a month

Get some distance, knock myself out of the mental ruts a bit, then we'll see how things stand.

I think I've already been pulling away a bit so that's part of me not being around I'm sure. I'm still sad about how various things have gone, but I'm feeling better about letting go...

But mmph, things felt pretty bad there for a while. Even some older RP insecurities which I'd gotten better with in the past began to stir up. Never a good sign.

So much of this RP bullshit and feelings bullshit is so, so, so cyclical.

Enthusiasm breeds more enthusiasm. Insecurity breeds more insecurity.

Momentum!

This is why it's super important to step up and fight for the way you want to feel. (Fight yourself, generally.) Still, who can keep that up indefinitely, in all circumstances?

Which is also a reason for something like taking a break. Interrupt bad cycles, refresh some energy for starting up good ones again.

I'm gonna successfully read some more books a bit and play more video games, I've already been doing a bit more of those and it's nice. I have played several video games recently!!

I'm currently preparing to finally build a computer for the first time and that's very exciting

At work I'm switching departments at my store although really I should just look for a new job but doing things is hard, at least it's somethin

if you wanna hang out feel free to add me on discord at Nu#5813 or for the video games on steam where I THINK the correct structure of the username is nuophiuchi, but I get confused about that one and may be wrong

I'll surely be around here too somewhat for some time yet, but I don't... like plurk that much for anything besides RP, and I'll probably just make myself start feeling left out or junk, so

Gore: I still never have appropriate emotes for this kind of thing at all so pretend there's a sweet huggy one or something here

It's okay. I feel the hugs in spirit!

Man, when I first got cajoled onto plurk I was so intoxicated by the idea of bring-your-own-emotes, and now I'm just looking over my emotes like what the hell am I even doing

At least there's always Leg Horse

You'll always have Leg Horse!!

hugs you :<

game ending is rough time

I resonate strongly with the "back away, read some books, play some james, fight your insecurities" thing and I've found it very effective

I HOPE FOR THE BEST... and hope for more emotes of leg horse quality

Thanks guys :<d