I've been taking this a lot harder than I thought I would. But you never know with grief.

I've just sorta... disconnected since the memorial and now I think I'm slowly coming back.

I'm not great but I'm re-engaging.

Its always concerning when I stop enjoying the things I love.

I may disappear from plurk as I sometimes do.

I'll still be reachable with discord, even if it says I'm offline.

The one good thing about this is perspective. A lot of things that bugged me before no longer matter.

Many many years ago, he said to me "You don't have to do something just because I'm doing it."

It wasn't something I was in a state to relay at the memorial.

Do things because you want to.

I realize this plurk is all over the map as far as flow of consciousness goes.

The point is, I'm okay. Not great, not happy, still angry and sad but okay. Not in a pit of despair.

I have some extremely negative feelings toward recreational drugs and alcohol right now. Specifically irresponsible use, instead of dealing with the root of the problem.

Since, y'know, that's what fucking killed him.