So back last November/December, I was feeling extra stressed and pressured in my normal life. I enjoy RP and it's even often a good outlet for stress, but "owing" people tags can come with its own stress.

I mostly tag with people who are really good about backtagging (because otherwise no one would tag me) and don't seem to mind waiting, but it's still difficult to shake the feeling that if I make someone wait a long time for a tag, I should make it worth the wait, which can add up quickly.

And I had to jettison some sources of stress back then or I wouldn't have been able to function. There might be bigger sources of stress in my life than a vague guilt around owing tags, but those things are much harder to back out of.

So, while I tried to make it work even into the new year, early 2019 was really bad for me, so I had to admit that I couldn't keep it going.

(And also I was getting the feeling that I'd made a mistake or two in my interpretation of Fran, particularly when I saw the translation for this summer's FGO event, so I needed some time to examine it. Like I'm just too polite to have expected that level of snark out of a character who I have to guess what she's thinking through groaning.)

I did miss RP. I had really, really good threads, for one thing, so I felt some level of regret right away, but I really did need to clear my head. It took a while before I really got to the point where I missed it in a way that I felt like I'd really want to play again.

It started to feel weird that a part of my identity, "I'm an RPer," just wasn't there anymore! I don't think I Have ever gone a full year without RPing for at least a dozen years. I wanted to express that part of me again.

But I kind of stumbled back into it. Even in September, I was still only vaguely thinking about it in more of a "that'd be nice" daydream level, but I saw a friend tagging a Ritsuka who I've enjoyed reading when I came across her (since I still occasionally read RP because it's what I do).

...Actually, wait. What first happened is that I'd been an anon on an Anonymous Fuck Marry Kill meme and I kept poking at people on it whose canons I knew, and said Ritsuka was one who got the longest string. (Talking to characters as an anon feels weird after I haven't done it for years.)

And by the end of it, she'd expressed an interest in threading with me. And then the thing I started with came along and I saw an opportunity for a gagtag as Fran, so I just did it and left.

But since she was a friend of a friend at the time, I got to hear that she wanted something from Fran that she could actually respond to, so I just...started tagging some people with the characters I'd been playing last year, of Fran and Medb.

I...think I've gone on a tangent. This is why I usually write these sorts of things up in advance and copy-paste.

play with me Yosie

LMAO that emote describes the FGO experience sometime.

we'll have to do that

I also kind of misspoke. I did one thread with Fran, felt very rusty, and then just tagged with Medb because I...don't really take her seriously......

Honestly, I probably wouldn't have been playing Fran and Medb again if I didn't have such good CR for them and the potential for more good CR. Last time I took a long break, it was good to start out fresh with someone new.

And I did end up doing that. There's a Korean web comic adaption of a light novel (what a convoluted way of talking about things) that I've really enjoyed, and for a while during my RP absence, I kept thinking that I'd really enjoy RPing the main character.

I just painted my nails so typing is hard but

Hello reason I accidentally tripped back into RP. Thanks for causing that step to happen.

Hahaha gosh it would be.

So the comic is called The Monster Duchess and Contract Princess, which has some translations posted on mangadex.

yes good. IDK what we can do but I want yosie in my inbox

To put it in as short of a way as I am capable of doing, it's about a young girl who has been abused by her family. After she finally realizes how monstrous her family is, she makes plans to be adopted by the titular Monster Duchess, whose entire family are rumoured to be demon-blooded monsters, but it turns out that they're super sweet to Leslie.

Intercession: We will absolutely have to find an opportunity!

I just find it so heartwarming to watch Leslie, the abused child, blossom under the care of the loving family who are working on adopting her, even if the stuff she put up with before then is...real bad.

ahh yes, tag anxiety. a fiend I know well.

A truly devilish villain.

literally worse than even the most maniacal of villains

capable of bringing even the mightiest of tag warriors to their knees in one strike....

If tag anxiety had a journal, I'd never even consider tagging them, whereas most villains I'd be down to try.

yeah, tag anxiety is the worst.

So I guess the long story short is that I made a journal for Leslie and have been putting her on basically every gen meme.

There's nothing quite like RPing a 12 year old that lets me see the balance of gen vs shippy/smutty memes that go up on bakerstreet.

So, at the moment, I'm mostly poking around tagging with Leslie, who is fun and fresh. She'll probably be the only one I top level with unless there's a request or a meme that just seems too perfect for a different character.

However, like I said, the CR I had with Fran was just too good to pass up and there's a lot of potential when it comes to new CR with her, so I'm definitely going to be happy to tag people with her again. And Medb is just too funny to me to not play her.

same medb is the fun kind of dumb

Fran and Medb will probably be mostly used when tagging friends, but I'm really looking forward to getting to do so now that I've gotten some confidence back after tagging around again for a while. Leslie, meanwhile, is going to currently sit in the position of my main.

but yeah it really sucks to get caught up in a spiral like that.

cordially: Gosh, I remember that. That was really cool to just sound out a friendship between them on the fly.

I'm glad to hear you're finding your wings again and enjoying yourself in RP

Intercession: She's the fun kind of dumb and also gets to be unrepentantly a bad person, which is not something I've RPed in a long time, while still being just enough on the side of Chaldea now to not be straight up attacked.

anyway now that my nails are no longer in danger of smudging, I am really glad you tagged me and I have had a lot of fun with all of your characters so far

mamoritai: Thanks, Kyo. It was definitely rough, but in the end, the break was probably good for me, especially now that I've popped out the other end at least for now.

LESLIE IS VERY CUTE I'm bad at reading ongoing things but I am definitely interested in looking her canon up

nekokoban: I'm glad, because I've loved all our threads so far. And I'm planning to tag you on the monster meme, but I was debating over who to play as a monster AU before I suddenly realized: I barely have to AU Fran. I just have to come up with a scenario.

!!

GOSH LESLIE IS CUTE it makes more sense than a lot of protags why she ends up having basically everyone outside of the Sperado mansion loving her.

!!! also I just read that comic. time to see if I can wake any of my Dad Characters up,

Isn’t it so good?? and oooh dad characters.

Also, like, idk if you wanna just go back into those Kaiko and Fran threads we were doing or finding a new excuse for them to tag each other, but I want to play that CR again.

I AM FRANKLY ALWAYS HERE TO PICK UP/do new things

I think we had some sort of third AU we were like "we should play this some time" but god knows I can't remember what- wait yes I do it was "what if london had it right and fran's sitting in a box somewhere and Kaiko finds out"

a bunch of songs from that playlist I made also came on shuffle yesterday and I was just like "welp there went my feelings, thanks for that" lol

WHAT A SURPRISE IN A BOX THAT WOULD BE. Good gravy. That would be a Situation and a half.

I still listen to that playlist. It’s so good.

kaiko just slowly raising a torch to whatever mage collection THAT was kept in like

Wasn't it in the back of grandson Victor's closet and ignored? That'll make it even more fun to discover if it's just thrown into some storage like it's nothing important.

yeah basically. I think we also talked about how it sounded like fran had gotten into the box voluntarily for that extra bit of "why are the frankensteins LIKE this"

random magus: yeah she's an old defective model compared to modern homunculi so we just left her in there
kaiko: hey turn on your location I just want to talk,

OH RIGHT the theorycrafting on how she ended up sealed in there intact. I remember now.

LMAO

ok quick question, do you want a nice boy who is also a dumbass cat or kaiko or both for that monster meme

I'm gonna throw my idiot dad in the denny's one though if I can remember how writing starters works

Oh geez. I may have to flip a coin for that one, haha. Either one would be great. If I had to make a choice, maybe Kaiko since the monster meme is the only place where Leslie is a vengeful spirit herself instead of just being followed by potentially vengeful spirits and I imagine Kaiko would find that relatable. But either sounds great in different ways.

Starters are hard!

kaiko also has the "being made/born for a sister" bingo square covered lol

LMAO you're right.

I'm discovering that Leslie's tragic past has a surprising amount of overlap with other tragic backstories.

I got tagged by a character from Jojos this week who is also an escapee from an abusive family and it turns out that the thing that made her actually escape happened when she was 12, too.

dem tropes