yes i have returned to plurk for 5 minutes the explicit purpose of yelling about homestuck without having to pollute my twitter

SCREAMS

GOOD: dave................

i can either accept that dave is my favorite character now OR i can pretend that the epilogues never happened????????

80% of the things i like abt the epilogues were because of dave. dave was good. the davekat in meat was good. dave+roxy in meat was also good. incredible

daaaaaaave ..... /lies down

the ONLY other good things are roxy, karkat, & rosemary in candy everything else is BAD or just WHATEVER

SOMETIMES u just read 190k words and in the end all u get is that ur fave character turned out to be a transphobic villain that mind controls people i guess !

dirk would have died for his friends (AND HAS????????????) and then ur just gonna hit me with a "dirk has no concept of empathy for other people" in my god damn face after all these years huh??????????? im losing my damn mind

idgaf if there's a timeskip and theyre like ~different people now~ i didnt come here for different people! i didnt come here to get slapped in the face by my fave character maliciously and repeatedly misgendering his own supposed best friend??? wow w o w wowowow

im having an EMOTION right now

i need to lie down

i ALSO didnt come here for weird genocidal fascist jane HA HA i feel bad for any jane fans out there !

wait what

is there more

homestuck content now????????

how

GOD

there's a literal 190k words of new homestuck content

that dropped on 4/20

i have, unfortunately, read it all

THE ONLY GOOD THINGS TO COME OUT OF CANDY WERE 1) HAPPY ROSEMARY RAISING A BABBY TOGETHER N 2) 40 YR OLD DAVE SADLY ADMITTING TO BARACK OBAMA THAT HE THINKS HE'S GAY AND NOT IN LOVE WITH HIS WIFE

very sad but also good because it felt weirdly cathartic or something I D K

GOD wait ok i forgot. the epilogue for some reason confirms for us that jade has a dog dick and that is something i NEVER wondered about and DIDNT need to know

YELLS

WHERE WAS CALLIOPE HALF THE TIME

JAKE DESERVED BETTER IN EVERY TIMELINE

damn u hamsteak

i feel like this retroactively ruins the really good act 6 conversation between dave & dirk and that makes me mad >

cleanses myself by thinking about the like 3 good davekat scenes