/burrow into

don't want to be asleep, cause fucking nightmares

don't want to be awake cause I am 100% sure my husband is mad at me

I was trapped in nightmares, and couldn't wake up. and when he came into the bedroom to set his alarm for the morning, it was enough stimulation that I was actually able to escape the nightmare enough to move and get out of bed

and I told him I was sorry, I didn't want to get up as he was going to bed, I just. I needed to be out of the bedroom and away from the fucking nightmares

and he hugged me and I went upstairs

and I waited for him to come say goodnight, and

that was over an hour ago

oh geez

and it probably seems like a little thing, but he always checks on me when I first get up. and the fact that he just. went to bed without even coming up to say goodnight is just

hopefully he just forgot? or will cool down soon enough, if he didn't

killing me

I wish I could believe that. I wish so much

if he weren't likely asleep I'd suggest going to talk to him

yeah, I. should probably try and talk to him in the morning

yeah, that's a good idea

in the meantime... do you have anything you could distract yourself with?

games/videos/books...?

idk. I've tried a few things. reading, watching videos. my mind just keeps circling back

........ no, plurk, that was not a link

/hugs

He might have just been really tired and passed out quick

I hope that's the case, anyway. But I get how hard it is to try to believe something like that when your brain is fixated on worrying.

yeah hopefully it was more a thing where he was too tired to think properly about it and passed out instead of being mad or anything, still that sucks and I am sorry love

I know brains can be hard to convince otherwise until you get the chance to talk to him, if you can find something to distract yourself with that'd be good, let your brain wander away for a bit

thank you guys

I think I'm just going to. try and disappear down the youtube rabbit hole.

not a bad place to go, I do that a lot