I hate when I work on something super hard

and do better for a while

and then just GET HIT WITH IT HARDER THAN EVER

periods always remind me of extreme sexual violence because mine started right after a really bad thing that almost killed me

and periods are AWFUL for dysphoria, kind of for obvious reasons

so when both those whammies hit me at once it's just awful

and one minute I'm watching a movie and fantasizing about mutual masturbation porn

and the next I'm in my car and suddenly THE PERIOD SMELL HITS ME

and I just... can't handle it

/hugs

I'm not really coming up with words right now, but that's hard and I sympathize

thank you

I just hate feeling so knocked over

and like I'm worse instead of better and all the progress I thought I was making never existed

and I KNOW progress isn't linear but

it's just all of a sudden everything hits me at once

I'm a ruined dirty monster and no one could love me and I shouldn't exist and I want to RIP my insides out

and I'm in so much pain, both regular cramp/chronic breathing problems/body ache pain and flashback I-can-still-feel-the-knife pain

You are lovable and absolutely should exist, just so you know

I appreciate you so much

Wurdz r hard at 1 am but ily

ILU 2