I'm kind of an introvert person. I don't go out much and I don't entertain guys when they try to hit on me either.

I never had a lover and only went out on dates twice...and both are with him.

I was disinterested about him at first. When I met him, he was really social and curious about us, our family, way of life, etc.

I thought he was just being friendly and just trying to have a conversation out of respect.

But then he told me to add him on Facebook. At first I thought, "Okay, this is normal. This is usually how it goes when people meet new people."

So I added him after a few days. After that, he messaged me saying he's around my area and that we should go out to dinner and catch up.

So I agreed. Since it was my first time going out with some other guy, I asked if I could bring my friend with me, which he gladly agreed. I was relieved.

We talked about a lot of things that night and I had fun.

The next day, he invited me to dinner again but since our finals was nearing that time, I had to refuse.

He asked me to go out again the next day. It was his last night in the country as he's leaving already. I agreed to it.

But this time, I was not able to bring my friend as she was not available. I was so nervous. We talked and all and I mentioned to him that I used to be in a choir. He invited to go to karaoke with me but I reluctantly refused.

Honestly, I thought the idea was fun but I had this reluctance to fully trust a person I only knew for a few days.

That was the last time I ever saw him. He said he would come back but he never did. He would sometimes contact me through FaceBook and check up on me but that's it.

Unknowingly, I came to like him just from the nights that hung out. I just thought that he was very fun to talk with and he's very witty as well. He shared to me a lot of life lessons and I find his interests very interesting and although different than mine, very relatable.

In simple words, I slowly started to have a huge crush on him (which I hated by the way).

But as I can not do anything about it, I just kept on thinking and daydreaming about him. What's worse is whenever I try to divert my attention to something else, he just suddenly contacts me and says stuff that leads me on.

This crush keeps going for more than two years now. I know it sounds ridiculous having a crush on someone you went out to dinner with two years ago and never seeing them again, but that's me right now.

Today, I found out (or have concluded based on his recent SNS activities) that he's dating someone already.

I'm kind of sad but at the same time relieved for myself. Now I have a legitimate reason to give up and stop hoping for anything to happen. Likewise, I am happy for him and wishes him for the best.

I'm just writing this because nobody knows aside from myself about my feelings for him until now.

I just want to get this out of my chest and focus on what's ahead of me.

dthaddeus: hahahaha

..sorry nabasa ko lahat