Genuine opinions wanted please. Not sure if I have an answer myself.

Do you mean as a general thing or as an immediate post-conversation question?

In general

Because in the first case, I think it's fine--I personally prefer if people do that, really. But in the latter case it can put a lot of pressure on the recipient and can itself be pretty upsetting.

But just asking people to be explicit and clear with you isn't 'mean.'

i guess my concern was that by asking them to tell you are sort of demanding they give something to you that and is therefore unreasonable

because if they do not want to tell you they don't necessarily have a reason to

or maybe im over thinkingit

Sometimes people do not like feeling put on the spot to answer a question that would have them agree with anything negative, yeah.

If I think that's the case, I try to encourage them that they can always let me know if something's wrong, that I'd want to know to make it better.