And since I'm not doing anything of worth lately anyway, why do I even need three meals a day, like people who DO things need?

So it's gonna be tea for breakfast and tuna on tortillas (which is oddly alliterative) for dinner and apparently fuck lunch, I'll just sleep through any hunger pangs for the next few days until I run out of tuna and then hopefully Depression will back the fuck off long enough for me to go get groceries

Also I am a shitty writer, a stupid as fuck actor who now has a pretty card proclaiming me to be part of SAG but there are NO JOBS that I can get without an agent and why would an agent represent me? I don't work often and my teeth are stained and crooked and my arms are flabby and I'm the wrong body shape and I'm awkward.

I might as well fucking kill myself but I can't even do that because it'll be too much trouble for my mom to come get all my things.

HOw would I do it anyway? I'm a fucking coward who couldn't drown myself or slit my throat or wrists and no gun and I can't even kill myself right so I am utterly fucking worthless and just an expense mom doesn't need and a waste of space in general

curls around and loves so much You are not a waste of space. You are not worthless or anything your brain is trying to tell you you are. You're wonderful and important and I'm so sorry depression is an evil angry bitch, but you are better than it tells you you are.

* This Also, have many hugs from my corner of the room as well. So many hugs and good things.

I don’t know if I can do this. and by this I mean anything anymore. I can’t support myself and any time I show a little weakness to my mom or worry about money she gives me some and it DOESN’T help because it just makes me feel worse

Like I;m almost 30 why am I not a real person yet? Why can I not take care of my self yet? I am never going to be able to ande should jsut die now becfore i take up more space.time/money without being able to give anything back

And so many kind people donated to my ko-fi thingy and that was amazing but after two days it stopped and I feel like such a bitch asking for more and I don’t need MORE cause mom gave me some but I cant even pay anyone back and I’m useless and worthles and should just fucking die nalready