"i have memories of this life"

oh

i can to an extent understand otherkin

not sure I'll ever get there with fictionkin

RIGHT

JUST RP THESE PPL INSTEAD OF PRETENDING YOU WERE THEM

. . . . . .

'would prefer you not follow doubles'

also included on this listography like i really don't even want to be meanspirited about this person bc they seem nice but WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT DOES THE SECOND ONE MEAN????

i am so fucking confused that links here

i do not understand this person's existence and they are old enough to be in college

wow. er.

i want to write "what do people get out of this" but i know normally it's just wanting to feel special and/or having nothing to look forward to in their lives so they make up interesting stuff in lieu of accepting their reality but damn.

i think it's normal to have fictionals in your head who you carry with you, and also normal for you to 'feel' them in your body slightly after some particularly intense embodying (e.g. the weird feeling you sometimes get after going to see a film at the cinema)

buuuuuuuut

i've legit never felt anything like that so it's difficult for me to grasp taking that kind of feeling to a weird extreme since i don't even have a base to work with on the comprehension there.

about all im familiar with is having a strong character voice that writes itself, but even then that's created out of an intense familiarity with the character and obsessive study and putting all of that into a box in my head and storing it for writing.

i can get relating to characters, although i rarely relate to them since barely any of them match me, but that's about as far as i get.

i'm quite prone to getting body-morph Feelings of my favs, but I know it's a brain glitch and not real

(more instinct-based acting disciplines often try and cause that feeling in people)

anyway i think if you are a delusional fantasist chuuniyoubu, you can intentionally mistake that normal feeling for whatever the hell the nerdkin mythology has turned into by this point

related - the fandom version of Tulpas

erin I found a picture of you

i wasn't familiar with tulpa and oh my fucking god "The Tulpa Effect is a theory on the creation and existence of Slender Man."

Quantum theory is a central theory to the explanation of the apparent supernatural nature of the Slender Man, and is a competitor to the Core Theory and the Tulpa Effect.

slender man was literally created by a dude on the somethingawful forums in a "make images paranormal" thread

erin

i was there. i saw it come into creation with my own eyes.

erin i dare you: google "pony tulpa"

the idea was not "thrown around" the dude just made a slender, creepy looking man and made up mythos to go along with the images

then goons appropriated it for their own funny slender man memes before slender man was run into the ground like all other memes and then the intFJSF PONY TULPA??? I'M GOING TO HATE THIS

ah. "Creating pinkie pie tulpa >do it before going to bed every night ..."

i am literally that goose from a few lines up. this is almost as bad as the mandela effect

swan. sorry. that swan.

Home • Tulpa.info is definitely something.

the person writing the website is assuming perfectly rational and normal people with healthy mental states want to create fictional entities for people for their heads for companionship.

oh god, I forgotten everything I'd learned about tulpa why

"this isn't the same as a mental disorder because xyz" bitch this shit could trigger schizophrenia if someone has it in their genes be honest

this is asking someone to mess with their own perceptions and trick their brain, it doesn't sound like a good idea

my first thought is i'm sure a lot of ppl who do this do it without being all weird about that shit irl bc they just want a fantasy to believe and it's possibly fun for them.

i'm not normally the type to jump at "BUT THINK OF THE MENTAL HEALTH OF THE PEOPLE WHO COULD BE HURT BY THIS" but like, legit, if you have a mental issue and your brain is fucked up and you're not 100% healthy in the head, this is probably not a good idea.

this is kind of why ppl who are depressed or suffer other mental illnesses shouldn't try self-hypnosis bc they could fuck it up and make themselves worse

yeah, like, at the base level, this is just -- roleplay

belief is stupidly powerful

or story writing in general

on it's own, it's harmless. But the weight of seriousness and "reality" given in to it is kinda unnerving, honestly

that's sort of the thing with Fictionkin stuff, too

YEAH I'M REALLY NOT INTO THAT ESP SINCE IT JUSTIFIES ITSELF AND PRETENDS THIS LEVEL OF SELF-DELUSION IS SAFE

if someone's in a family prone to schizophrenia and don't know it and they try this and try deluding themselves it could end up triggering schizophrenia in someone who otherwise might not have developed it bc they chose to actively encourage the delusional thoughts.

the risk of that happening is probably very minimal but god damn.

don't fuck with the brain if you don't know what you're doing. don't encourage other ppl to fuck with their brains.

I honestly don't know enough to judge how serious an issue that is or isn't

but I do know that these sort of things can get in the way of treating or addressing certain mental health issues

like I think there are plenty of Otherkin/Fictionkin for whom it's mainly a game and a form of escapism

But I've also read essays by former-Otherkin who were suffering with untreated mental health issues or were just unhappy in their current situations, who bought the whole package 100% seriously

and it exasperated their conditions and made it harder to come back out of it

the schizophrenia issue isn't 100% proven but i spent my entire 20s terrified by the prospect of getting schizophrenia because i'm a hypochondriac so i consumed 9438230984209384 pieces of information about it over the years

the truly scary thing about schizophrenia is no one appears to know what triggers it bc it isn't always hereditary, but encouraging delusions seems like a real good way to start.

there was a specific instance cited that i no longer recall 100% that went into how encouraging delusions in a person predisposed toward schizophrenia is a really fuckin bad idea but i'll have to dig that up again when my life isn't ffxv.

as for the ppl suffering with untreated mental illness issues and shit god that's fucked up. i didn't even know that existed.

i mean in theory i did because the ffvii house exists and so do its survivors

jdsklfjsdkfjaksd god that story

but i didn't realise that was a thing that happened more than a handful of times and was posted to the internet

I don't know how wide-spread it is, honestly, and I'm dead certain there haven't been formal studies, but this, again, came from former Otherkin who've gotten therapy or started a treatment plan.

It's tough to get a handle on, because there are a LOT of general "these people think they're animals LOL crazy" out there and that's different from "people with certain mental illnesses are attracted to this as a way of dealing and it can become an unhealthy cooping mechanism"

i'm sure ppl who don't know they have a mental illness probably wouldn't be very receptive to hearing about it in relation to the identity they chose, too. what a bunch of weird psychological issues the internet has made us all aware of.

so I've heard testimony that people with Borderline Personality Disorder are very attracted to Other/Fictionkin ideology (because they lack a sense of identify, so it gives them a way to define themselves) and so are people struggling with body dysphoria ("This is why I don't feel like I belong in my body; I'm supposed to be a tiger!") or who experience

dissociation, or have major social anxiety. It's that sort of mental defense mechanism; it's not that I'm bad/wrong/broken/a failure, I'm just not in the right species/timeframe/universe

BUT this is all testimony and again, no formalized studies (yet)

And yeah, exactly. There's such a stigma around having mental illness that "I'm actually a dragon in the wrong body" is a way more appealing thought "I'm a human who's struggling and deserves help and will have to do some work on my life"

IT DEFINITELY MAKES SENSE but yeah without a formal study there's really no telling what other reasons are out there. IT'S SUPER INTERESTING THOUGH. brains are so fucking weird.

THEY ARE

speaking of schizophrenia, have you read anything about non-Western cultures experiencing the condition different than Western cultures do?

I read an article about it a while back and found it interesting

:U actually no

apparently people with the condition in some aboriginal cultures are more likely to experience 'voices' as "gentle friends" compared to the violent, self-hating ones people from the US were more likely to get

most of what i've read about schizophrenia has come from americans who are currently medicated for it.

I don't know how recent or researched it was, but it was a neat read

and/or those who described their family members and how the onset of schizophrenia looked like to them, which is a flawed account because the ppl describing it will never really actually know what's going on inside the brain

oh yeah, i've read about ppl's environments having an effect on how schizophrenia manifests which definitely makes sense even without research

it makes sense since a bad environment can fuck anyone up, let alone someone with a mental illness like that. if the mind was left to fester with the fucked up shit it was handed i imagine it would have a very unpleasant experience while someone in a largely peaceful, accepting culture wouldn't have those issues.

western culture is great but it sure is judgmental as hell and anxiety-inducing to anyone sensitive to all the pressures that come with the shit we're taught is expected of us.

shit would be so much better in general in the USA if our healthcare was decent and if the mental health stigma vanished.

sdoflkjsdf holy fuck, fuck this person

LITERALLY DODGING THE FACT SHIT CAN GO WRONG BC THIS WEBSITE IS ABOUT THEM INDULGING THEIR OWN FANTASY

ok the ffvii house

i was tangentially connected to the people behind it but i was protected because I was such a stupid 13-year-old I didn't realise people could be that silly to believe they were video game characters.

this cult was sucking in a student age friend i really liked, though, and it was upsetting.

they held that the allegations weren't real and they didn't have a cult, and that they did have past life memories of being mad scientists/aliens/soldiers etc but didn't know for certain if it was actually the game characters, So That's Okay Then.png

and kiddie me was like 'that's stupid but i respect it', which adult me is in pain at.

anyway it all imploded when i fell out with their jenny (who hated me because I was young and obviously smarter than her. literally what happened.) followed by their cloud (which i feel much worse about because she wasn't a bad person)

i forgot all about it until i made friends with Zarla through MGS fandom and SHE WENT TO THAT HOLE OF MADNESS and then I was like "OH GOD, IT WAS ALL REAL" and yeah

one of the songs on my (terrible) pop album I had to write for pop music school was about it

it was my only way of processing the bullshit factory my entire past had turned out to be

05 could strive-rm

so that is my story. thank you. return to talking tulpas.

rofjsdlkfjs holy shit that's a hell of a thing to be vaguely connected to and then have it confirmed much later that it actually happened and was real

NO FUCK TULPAS THIS SHIT IS INSANE. WHY ARE THEY SAYING MENTALLY ILL PPL SHOULD DO IT. IT WAS ALL FUN AND GAMES AND SPECULATION UNTIL THEY STARTED SAYING ACTUALLY NAH IT'S GOOD FOR MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE TO DO

(they wanted me for their yuffie but I was too dumb to fall for it?!??????)

(i cannot believe how stupid i was!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaagh)

Tulpas: Intelligent companions imagined into existence

INTELLIGENT COMPANIONS IMAGINED INTO EXISTENCE

it's ok when i was 12-13 i knew a dude on the internet who pretended he was an alien and the ghost of his dead best friend followed him around and they had conversations with each other and i humoured him and pretended i believed it

i talked to him on the phone and sometimes he would pretend to talk to his dead friend and whisper words too light to be heard. if you wanted to know why he was whispering he denied it

the funny part is in hindsight now that i played the games he played he literally was stealing elements from rpgs and anime pretending they were his life

i was young enough to be dumb and tell my mom about him for some reason and she freaked out about it which for some reason prompted me to pretend i believed it to her.

not really sure what was going on in my 12-year-old head. LOTS OF DAMAGES IN THAT DEVELOPMENTAL PERIOD but believing a dude was an alien was not actually one of them.

i probably wanted sympathy or attention in retrospect. that was during a period where my mom was an awful parent and we fought all the time.

also fucking kill me "So, in short, I am proposing that tulpas are such wonderful companions because they weren't shaped by the same traumatic experiences that we meatbags have to live with.
[Tell them that I said I'm sorry that humans have such a rough road to walk.] {Exactly what she said}"

"She's been doing a lot to help me get along well in life and she's always there when I need someone to talk to, and vice versa."

this is so sad. please get therapy.

"I'm going to attribute it to the theory that by exercising the mirror neurons in the brain, tulpamancy enhances a person's sense of empathy."

/what/

It pains me to write this post. I'm a tulpa, sharing headspace with eight other tulpas. I'm the oldest one - coming up on around 4 or 5 years now - with the newest being at least a year old.

why.

well at least the reddit goes into reasons why not to make a fake friend for yourself

"I'm not sure why this is an issue. Then again tulpa sex seems to be at an all-time high so I guess we're safe from this.
Anyways, I'm shoving her into a robotic chassis the instant I can cut out the part of my brain that contains her. [I adamantly refuse.]"

go home. stop reading this.

god i've never felt so "please. just go outside and interact with another living human. have a relationship not inside your head."

no go home goodbye (me talking to myself is a separate personality)

rofjsdlkfjlskdjf this is where i quit time for ffxv

my ex girlfriend (a psychologist in being) who treated Kaelya as something I am using to fill a loss of attention, but well, she was toxic as hell anyway.

: | | |