My grandmother's desperate pleading to me. my mom, my uncle, anyone in range to come take her hands and help her up so she can go back home to Cuba. She can barely stand, and can't walk at all.

oh jeez

The stifled tears in my uncle's voice when the tries to explain to her yet again that she's killing herself and that she needs to eat literally anything if she's going to get my better.

He's done it countless times by now, always hoping that this time she'll understand him. She never does.

She is almost certainly dying for real. I've lost track of how long it's been since she ate anything, and we can't force her to.

oh hun. :<

i'm so sorry

Intubation is still an option, but I don't know if he'll take it or if he should. (To paraphrase my stepfather, "We intubated my mother, and got six months with a vegetable."

Anyway, things are complex -- she was abusive, but was also very good to me in many ways, and she's been in a lot of pain for some time now. So my feelings are often contradictory.

Thank you, Plurk, for being here and listening to me. You guys are wonderful people.

And now I'm going to try to go back to sleep for the tenth time or so since yesterday morning. What are regular sleep schedules.

anytime

You gave me huggy crows. I like you extra.

huggy crows are the best (espeically when my other hug emote is voldemort)

[hug]

whoops

All the birbhugs! <3

But yes, attempted sleep shall happen Real Soon Now.

I'm so sorry

love you friend and hope the pain lessens in whatever way it can

I am sorry. Like many things in life, it's not one thing or another but many things put together. So. Yeah. Complicated feelings are a norm.

i love you, babe.

Hang in there. We're here for you.