someone was confused today about how i can be bi and married to woman but still find men attractive

Then she told me "Oh i have no problem with gay people, I think people are people!"

"I had a black friend in high school and I thought he was awesome!"

"I've never told my boyfriend this but I've kissed a girl!"

UuuuUuuuuuuuUuUuugh

make me go like

i wanted very badly to say that.

and then of course

"SO HOW DO YOUR PARENTS FEEL ABOUT THAT"

"SO DID YOU TELL YOUR DAD BEFORE HE DIED?"

"HOW DOES YOUR MOM FEEL ABOUT IT."

I just love people who are so ~tolerant~ of my ~lifestyle choices~

but of course all i could do was just smile and agree with her

you have a wealth of patience omg

squints

seriously, I would not have been able to maintain my composure

yyyyyyyikes

Seriously? Some people just need to be whacked across the back of the head.

I'm sorry people are assholes.

Oh and - when i was like "we got married before we moved here just cause it's legal in all 50 states now!"

her immediate response: Is it? I didn't know! I don't pay attention to those kind of things lol

B<

of course you don't

kindly fuck off

exactly

Whack 'em. Whack 'em on the head hard.

if only

OH OH

one more part

because i almost forgot

but this is really the winner

her: "Yeah i couldn't do that because I love man parts too much!"

me: "haha, yeah me too."

her: "....How does that work?"

me: "...What?"

her: "Well you're married. To a woman."

me:"Yeeeeeeeeah?"

WOMAN DO NOT MAKE ME XPLAIN DILDOS TO YOU

DO NOT

YOU ARE LIKE. 50

also you don't stop being attracted to men once you're married to a woman? like???

ah yes i have chosen the Lesbian Option, now all Hetero Paths are sealed to me

it's not a fucking video game

...I have not had enough to drink to deal with this

Lesbian Option and Hetero Paths are the best turns of phrase I've heard all night!