my therapist said he couldn't diagnose her (obvs) but recommended i read up on books on borderline personality disorder and it makes so much sense??

like i really don't know enough about it but it would explain why my dad, bro, and i always felt like something was off with her

and how it got more intense but has kind of sunk back to her usual mood swings and abandonment issues

i feel a sense of sadness but also relief. sadness in the sense something is wrong with her and she won't let anybody help. relief in the sense that i used to wonder what i was doing and knowing it's not me.

there's no way that i could talk to her about this so it still sucks but BAH