And I think he likes me...

He asked me lots of questions about if I like sushi and which ingredients I like

he being a creeper

And made me this

Come on plurk, you're killing me with how long you take to upload photos

thankfully he is not being a creeper

but i'm a person who's painfully shy when it comes to these things so i just feel super embarrassed, especially since he just made me dinner

he was like, Ok! I will make you a sushi dinner.

omg...

moonbei so cute

i tend to shy away from people i know have taken an interest in me

it's too much for me to bear, lol

i am weak

okay, here we go

oohhh

i asked him if it has a name since he said he made it specially for me

and he goes, "Sweetheart" ....

....i just cant

wow

smooth guy what

i dont even know him well. he hardly even knows me. what is this

the rolls were so delicious though

haha... i've been one to joke with my friends that i can be won through my stomach

iyooooooo

i'm, like, super flattered, yet also super terrified. hahaha.... i'm so lame

oh yeah i understand the feels

ok. so. he just called me. i dreaded it at first but it ended up being pleasant. this is ok.

english isnt his first language so he doesn't type well, so we chatted over the phone.

sigh

wow

what a cute

Oh woah - that's so nice!!

...

Also, you're such a cutie! :3 And so long as he's not being a creep, it seems like he's pretty chill XD

Omg he asked me to lunch tomorrow. I'm not ready for this

My sushi chef admirer made me a new appetizer tonight to try

Tempura red snapper with mango, avocado, Kani and special sauces

It's ridiculously yummy

With cooking skills like that? -I- want to date this dude.

I was about to say the same thing LMAO! XD

And he sounds really nice, too.

Ok.... so. Big unfortunate update. I got home two and a half hours later than I originally wanted (it's 2am and I just worked a double shift) because

He got drunk at 10 (the restaurant closes at 12) and got up to 1000 lvls of creepy

He has been really good to me, making me food and helping me out with a mistake I made with an order

And he asked me to lunch so I felt that since he's been so nice, I should just go have lunch with him and get to know him

And lunch was fairly pleasant enough

The day was going really well. He's close friends with two of the new bosses and they know he likes me. They and some of their relatives came and started drinking

The new bosses would invite me to drink, but I refused since I was still serving. Soon, he (his name is Anson) started getting drunk and he'd linger around me often

And got really persistent about ordering me food, which I tried to politely decline because I wasn't hungry. He'd keep telling me he knows I'm hungry and to eat and that he ordered it and paid for it

And he'd keep bugging the poor chef (by then the chef was alone taking care of all the orders) and I felt awful and tried to tell him to please not bother the chef

Because every 2-5 minutes he'd go into the kitchen and tell the chef he has to make my food right away and he'd keep reporting to me about its progress

If I tried to talk to other people, he'd drag me away and tell me not to talk to them or he told this other nice waitress to go away (SO RUDELY) when she came close to use the computer

THE WORST PART OF THE NIGHT: I was about to leave with my brother and he asked if we came in the same car.

I said I drove my own so he just proudly says, OK. You will take me home.

LIKE, EXCUSE ME? What man gets drunk and shamelessly tells a girl to drive him home? With a really suspicious smile? Like, are you for real?

Earlier I was worried about him drinking and asked if he'd be okay driving home. He told me his friend would drive him. So I was SUPER confused.

He was really persistent. I asked if there was anyone else to take him, but he said nope cause I will take him home.

LIKE. I NEARLY FREAKED. I mean, I was freaking out internally. I just went straight to the manager's office (the original and main boss) and asked if someone could take him home.

Manager said anson's friend, but I had to tell him Anson told ME to drive him home. I could see in his eyes this flash of understanding and he told anson's friend to get him to the office.

And while he does that, I should go out through the front. Thankfully my brother stood out by the front to see if it was clear for me to go, which sadly never was

So I went back and asked the manager if I could go through the back and he helped me escape. My brother drove to the back and got me

My bro was gonna drop me off at my car so I could drive it BUT ANSON WAS SITTING BY MY CAR.

We just drove away and Anson kept calling my phone.

My bro and I drove a little ways down to see if he would leave but he didnt. We sat for half an hour before just going to Walmart to buy stuff and kill time

Hoping he'd just leave. I texted him asking him to please go home, drink lots of water and get some sleep

I am so sad and so freaked.

Earlier even as he was getting drunk, he told he how he took care of me, helped me with my mistakes, and that he likes me. I didn't know what to say

Everything would've been just fine if he just didn't drink so much at the restaurant. I don't understand....

Baaaaaaw. Just, baaaaaaaw

I'm worried that he's been doing all these nice things for you just so he can use it as leverage against you

to pressure you into doing things he wants because it's only "fair" since he's been so nice and helpful

That's what it sounded like when he was talking to me and reminding me of what he's done for me.....

I'm just getting those vibes.

I think it's best to be careful around this guy.

It's to the point where I'd feel highly uncomfortable working there now. I'm dreading going into work

ugh, there's more details, but overall, it was just awful. i'm feeling overwhelmed and am crying.

it's crazy because he's only been here for, like, a week or so.

Is I can offer some advice? Write down everything and give it to him. Tell him to read it before you talk to him.

of course you may offer advice. it's always very welcomed and i appreciate it

That way he can't try to get control of the conversation next time you go on and he invariably wants to talk.

the problem is that his english isn't very good

so he's always trying to talk

*go in, I mean.

i see

i'm sure he'll apologize tomorrow, and i'll tell him that i understand that he was drunk

but do you think it'd be alright to tell him to essentially please take a step back? like, take it easy?

it alarmed me when he started grabbing my arm to pull me away often. i was having a pleasant chat with another sushi chef the man is a very sweet guy and he was telling me about his kids but he grabbed

my arm and said, "Don't talk to him!"

(and oops, didn't mean to strike that out)

Maybe. He forced you to eat, so his grasp of boundaries needs some work. But it's not impossible to get back to good with him.

my manager told me to tell him if anything happens, so i'll let him know. i hope it'll help and i suppose if i'm firmer with my words, he'll stop?

his grasp on boundaries really... is lacking, i suppose i could say.

i'd feel awful to quit because the manager has been nice and we're pretty much already tight on staff

Anson has been changing his schedule to get the same days off as me and asking me to go out with him on those days. :/

sorry... i'm just already a paranoid person and this day has just made me feel sad. thanks for listening and giving me advice. i really super appreciate it

i'll see what happens tomorrow and the next few days when i go into work

Yeah... it sounds difficult and uncomfortable to deal with.

I think it might be a good idea to let him know he made you uncomfortable

thank you

He may be able to brush it off as just drunk behavior and ask you to let it go, but it's not like you can just... stop feeling uncomfortable, you know?

Getting drunk and acting up has its consequences and he should be able to own up to them

haha, i was about to just abandon my car in the parking lot and wished i could text my manager: I had to leave my car at the parking lot, please don't tow it away

YES. exactly.... i can let it go, but he really has to take a huge step back

and just... be normal? i thought it was awful how he was treating the other staff

Yikes that's awful

On one hand I feel like knowing his true intentions so quickly is good because you know now

how pushy and entitled he is

Like he was nice to you to get something from you

and you learned this before anything progressed

I'm sorry it had to scare you so much, he was inexcusable

Glad one manager understood and your brother was there

You will have to be firm in saying when you say NO, he better back off

He's been disrespecting you by touching your arm, forcing you to things when you already refused

What will happen later when he tries to sleep with you and won't take no for an answer?

When guys don't respect a girl's no, that sends me a million red warning flags

Ugh I'm so sorry, moonbei, I hope the staff understands how it's made you very uncomfortable

Hopefully it doesn't come down to leaving the job but maybe start looking for another option in case

It's never a bad thing to keep an eye on another location in case things don't work out

Also another thought came to mind, if he tries to apologize you can say you understand he was drunk but his behavior was still

Inexcusable and if this is going to be a repeat then he should stop pursuing you.

If he tries to get passive aggressive or make a million excuses for himself

or even get mad at you, you know for sure he's no good

do not say 'it's okay' because it was not.

Definitely be firm with him that no means no and it's actually making you distrust him if he keeps

forcing you to do things you don't want to.

^^^^ All this.

That's not how America works and he needs to know that firmly

You have the right to be comfortable and to be treated with respect.

That's super basic.

If you say No to anything, even to food, that's something that is easy to understand no matter hwere you're from.

where^

So, he needs to respect that. 'I'm not hungry' should mean just that. If he continues to pressure you into it then he's not doing it for your sake.

So sorry this went poorly for you =/

Yah, Jim makes a great point

You're super nice, moonbei, I'm so sorry he seems to be taking advantage of it, ugh

The guy I mean.

Yeah, me too. It's a shame some people see kindness and push it too far.

Seconding everything that's been said. =/ It sucks that it happened to someone like you and I hope that it all gets resolved... I will add that alcohol is one hell of a game changer and I say this from having-

to have dealt with some rather nasty instances involving heavy alcohol drinking and drunk individuals and groups... It has a way of changing someone entirely and it sadly can be really terrifying at times

I'm just glad that while the experience was really unpleasant, that you're okay, well as okay as you can be. And that there were people that you were able to turn to for help.

I'm just hoping that this was the alcohol abuse that turned the situation upside down cause it seems like you enjoy the place over all. It'd be a shame if his actions caused you to leave something you enjoy.

But the priority is that you're safe.

/hugs

Alcohol can exacerbate things, true. But it really just removes inhibitions. If he's telling you who you can and can't talk to when he barely knows you and is drunk, he may well be that controlling -

- once familiarity has set in as well.

Familiarity also removes inhibitions.

And no-one should be able to tell you who you can and can't chat to.

I've been married 9 years and I would never presume to tell Mistie 'Don't talk to them.' She's her own person, she can talk to whoever she wants to whenever she likes.

(Obvious exception being if I actually thought the person she was talking to was somehow dangerous.)

Awww... just. AWWWW. YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING.

Thank you all so much. You have all said amazing and helpful things.

though i am still a feeling like a dejected crybaby, i certainly do feel much more confident and stronger in dealing with this later today.

Softboiled i'm really thankful you told me not to say, "It's okay." because it's something I always do just to avoid conflict and upsetting others. I've never been only to ever be able to firmly tell someone

NO, and i've been taken advantage of by my last ex because of my inability to do so. I was almost going to say "It's okay" again, and that would've definitely not helped.

Monotreme101 Thank you for helping me see things differently, too, because what you said is completely valid and makes incredible sense when he's forcing me to do things, even something as simple as eating

i told him so many times that i didn't want the food he would order and not to order it. i said i can take care of myself and that i wasnt hungry many times. the restaurant also provides us with food so i told

him that i will eat that but he still wouldn't take no for an answer. he even kept checking up on me to make sure i ate the food he ordered. he stood nearby with the food when i was taking care of a table

thanks for being such a bro, Jim

That is super, super controlling.

I can understand wanting to feed people - I love feeding people! Especially Mistie. But if she's not hungry then why would I force it? That means I'm doing it for me, not for her.

I try! I have to go to work but remember - we're all in your corner! We all just want you to be safe and happy. =) I hope things go OK today!!

i hadn't seen like that until you said it and it makes absolute sense. and it worries me because he really did repeat all the things he's done for me and it gave me the feeling they weren't just out of pure

kindess

THANK YOU JIM. HAVE A FABULOUS DAY

Go be your awesome self! Thank you for taking time out of our day for me

Kitsunechu you know, i actually do enjoy working there! as stressful as it can get at time with huge parties and having to care for multiple tables. there were so many nice things that i wanted to share about

things like my old manager and co-worker from my previous job dropped by and we had such a fun and great chat. my old manager has always been a generous tipper and he is such a great sport

there was also this couple who made this drawing out of soy sauce on a plate and i really admired it and complimented them on it. i drew something on their receipt and and i always like writing thank you msgs

so when i gave them their receipt, i said i tried to return the masterpiece and they had a great laugh and kick out of my sorry doodle

and they tipped me $50 on a $30 tab. I nearly had a heart attack. i was so shocked. they also wrote, "Have a great night."

Like, i really enjoy talking with customers and helping them have a great dining experience. i felt so sad the sushi chef incident happened that nearly, practically ruined it all

haha, working as a server is like playing a real life diner dash.

Thank you all so much you guys. I feel so much better. i love you guys

And know that you are very much loved <3 And like Jim said, we're in your corner and want you to be safe and happy.

you guys are seriously like family to me. i can never thank you enough

i guess i can look at this way. this is a good chance for me to learn how to deal with these scenarios. i actually just applied to be an Assistant Language Teacher with Interac to teach in japan next year

and since i'll be on my own in a whole new wondrous land, i can know how to avoid and deal with this type of thing

Well, that's if i get the position. XD but still good to make a learning experience of this!

/);3;/)

Sending you all the good vibes, moonbei!!!

I wish you the best of luck with your application too!