idek i've let the world continue around me for so long

gonna use last year's plurk titles or w/e

anyway

today is one of those days that i feel guilty for being

i feel guilty and embarrassed and nervous about absolutely everything i've done today

from being worried that boy was mad at me for some reason this morning and being a little clingy bitch instead of letting him sleep

for sleeping in late

for not eating a healthy breakfast

for panicking that my car battery would die from the non-stop arctic cold

for making a fool out of myself at the post office

for panicking about a bill from boy's doctor that came in the mail and opening it without thinking that it's not addressed to me

for texting boy about said bill when his job is already stressful enough

for wanting to apologize about all of these things but knowing that people get mad at me when i apologize too much

for being worried about the radio silence i'm currently getting from him in regards to this bill

and most of all for wasting the entire morning in a dumb dream land where someone actually wants to be with me for the rest of my life while looking at promise/engagement rings

and now i just don't want to do anything but curl into bed and disappear

but i have a fuck ton of stuff to do

and i haven't heard anything back from the state about getting medicaid

and i really need to see a doctor

/whines