Now I'm going to spend like ninteteen plurk posts ranting cause

Frecklez told me once I have awful luck and I didn't really think about it until right now

But she's right I do have completely shit luck?

Like, okay, my mom kicked me out of the living room and back into my room UPSTAIRS on sunday.

Less than two weeks after I had organs ripped out. I haven't been cleared to DRIVE yet, let alone CLIMB STAIRS.

Yes I have driven. I even went shopping, but we all see how that turned out.

Anyway, I slept ten hours sunday. Mom woke me up and told me she wanted me to move back upstairs. I moved all my stuff upstairs by myself aside from a bag of stuff my brother moved.

I had to take a three hour nap because moving all of my stuff upstairs was literally that exhausting. I woke up and spent the majority of the day crying because I felt really really hurt and offended

That she would kick me upstairs. I decided I couldn't take being without hormones anymore and slapped on a birth control patch I still had lying around and honestly its helped.

But I've since determined that my cousin is the reason my mom kicked me upstairs because my mom isn't fucking dumb.

tl;dr my cousin is shitty

I'm really over her being here and I can't wait for my mom to kick her out. I'm hoping this will happen at the end of the year.

I saw this shit coming when my mom told me back at the end of july that she was moving in.

I'm really kind of fucking over being the god damned scape goat in my own damn house?? I've been dealing with it since I was eight years old and I get like two years of reprieve from it.

And then I get all comfortable and then SOMETHING COMES UP and some OLD ASS ADULT needs to move into the house and the first thing that happens is they try to get rid of me.

Fortunately it takes my mom less and less time to get over other peoples bullshit.

But I tried to warn her that this would be a shitty idea and welp she didn't listen to me.

Everytime she gets a second of my cousin not being shoved up her ass and I'm nearby she's bitching about my cousin and how much food she eats, and how much pot she smokes and how she never has two seconds.

If it isn't my brother up her ass (ten years old, abuse victim completely understandable) it's my cousin (FIFTY SEVEN, NO JOB. GO AWAY)

And like my cousin isn't ballsy and doesn't outright declare her distaste of the fact that I still live with my mom.

But it's little things.

Stuff I just sort of overlooked for a long time but now I'm just like naw bitch.

I almost wish I had been able to move out with Travis but god damn I can barely afford to BREATHE. I've got six grand in medical bills, $250 a month health insurance, and a car payment.

I CAN'T move out.

Not unless I get another job.

But like, she doesn't make enough food for me.

She cooks for her, my mom and my brother.

If I don't come down immediately after dinner is made, most of the time there's none left.

She moves my shampoo in the shower and has tried to move her stuff to the single little corner that I use in the shower, after already using two. She showers once a week fuck off.

I keep my toothpaste, toothbrush and a single bar of soap in the shower.

She uses MY RAZOR

CAUSE I "HAVE THE GOOD CARTRIDGES"

Like I don't mind my mom using it, and she and I have this little agreement where if we use each others stuff we replenish what we use and that's fine.

Like if my mom uses a little bit of my soap she'll buy me a whole new bar cause my skin is wehh sensitive and I have to use sulfate free stuff so it's more expensive and I have to order it.

But my cousin just HELPS HERSELF TO WHAT THE FUCK EVER.

My soap, my shampoo, my razors.

Then she decided she ALSO needed sulfate free soap products.

Cause she was just "so damn itchy". No bitch you're gross thats why you itch. You're nasty.

She climbs fucking ladders and dusts every inch of the god damned house and moves furniture and shit and gets all sweaty and hot and smokes pot and then bathes once a week.

And also applies for fucking disability. YOU CAN WORK.

YOU'RE CLIMBING LADDERS AND MOVING COUCHES WHY DO YOU THINK YOU WOULD GET APPROVED FOR THAT SHIT?

She just wants to lie around the house and get high all day and get paid for it.

She says oh her knee is busted and her back hurts.

And you know what? I can totally get that. I can totally get being in so much god damned pain that you have to be on pain medicine to fucking work.

My organs are covered in little blood tumors I fucking get it.

She's full of fucking shit.

Everytime I expressed being in pain she fucking snipped at me.

Because my mom felt bad for me but not her.

Because we both know she's FUCKING MAKING IT UP.

She's lived with me since fucking AUGUST, knows I have a massage table, knows I'm trained, HAS NEVER ONCE ASKED ME FOR A MASSAGE.

I know when my back was hurting from my MATTRESS I was getting whoever the fuck breathed at me at work to massage my fucking back.

And I work on all sorts of people. Fibro patients, Zippy, fuckin slipped discs, ruptured discs, fused spines, PARAPLEGICS, degenerative fucking disc disease.

I've worked on it all and actual honest to god back pain? Is fucking dibilitating. I was completely fucking miserable with my back just from my mattress! I can't IMAGINE

Having something legitimately wrong with me. And if I was someone with an actual honest to god back problem I would be JUMPING at the chance to live with a fucking massage therapist.

AND I OFFERED TO WORK ON HER.

And she won't let me touch he cause she knows if I do I'm not going to find anything fucking wrong with her. She wants disability and medicare so she can get free fucking drugs.

She's a drug addict. She's not in fucking pain.

If her knee was really busted to the point where she couldn't work she'd have a god damned cane.

And she has this stupid fucking "cough" that's so obviously fake that my mom and I want to shoot our faces in. And it's loud and obnoxious and she DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK.

She sits in the living room until 1-2 in the morning watching TV (the whole reason she wanted me out of the living room btw, I've determined since as soon as I was back upstairs she started it up again)

HACKING HER LUNGS UP.

airquotes

My brother has school in the morning, my mom wakes up at 630.

There's a hole in the floor between her room and the living room. When I was downstairs? All night.

She does it for attention. She's got fucking munchausens.

AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE SHIT SHE'S SAID ABOUT MY FAMILY.

APPARENTLY MY IRISH GRANDMOTHER'S FATHER WAS A GRAND WIZARD IN THE KKK AND WAS ALSO SIMULTANEOUSLY IN A SATANIC CULT.

WHICH MAKES NO GOD DAMNED SENSE.

okay so this has lasted far longer than 19 posts but you get the gist.

IM RLY FRUSTRATED.

And like.

She's got a fucking bachelors in psychology.

She can very easily get a job here making enough money to live on her own.

And if she, somehow, really does have something wrong with her? It's a desk job. I know deskjobs aren't easy on the back but with some proper support, she can be relatively pain free.

And I'm so upset because she's treating me like shit and she's mooching off my mom and doesn't care.

And I really feel like a huge fucking hypocrite ranting about a mooching adult when I'm a mooching adult.

My mom still pays for my cellphone and my car insurance.

I've offered her money countless times but she turns me away, or agrees and then just doesn't bother me for it.

When I was smoking pot with her the first thing I offered to do was chip in.

I was like hey, this is yours and I'm using it let me help you pay for it.

At first she was all for it and the next time I offered she was like no you hardly smoke any don't worry about it.

And even now I'm offering to help her pay for it?

She wants me to save.

She enjoys having me here. She says the house is too big and spooky without me here and she likes that I offer to do errands for her on my days off. Well, before my cousin was here, at least.

I cooked on my days off, I watched my brother sometimes. I ran the cat to the vet, I did the grocery shopping.

I run and drop off the rent and water bill payments.

And I do these things without fuss because I know it helps her out to do these things. Since my cousin has moved in I've run to the store twice, cooked once, and made dessert for thanksgiving.

And while I'm working so I'm not just stuck at home I feel kind of even more like a mooch than normal.

So I feel really kind of gross bitching about a grown woman who lives here and mooches when I live here and mooch?

But at least I have a job?

I'm paying for my own healthcare and car payment.

Ergh. Okay. Moral quandary done. This post is at 92. I'll stop here.

Please come move into my room and sleep on my cloud soft bed bb

Sob I wish I could

UHM LOOK ALPHA YOU ARE NOT AN ADULT IN HIS ECONOMY

like its not practical anymore to move out just willy nilly

you are also her daughter and she loves you unconditionally

and youre also not a horrible fucking person

or a mooch. you cant be a mooch 2 weeks after you had massively invasive surgery

this woman is like disgusting and if shes giving you shit because weh weh i cant watch tv she can go outside and trip into the road with her bad knee

like. fuck her. youre the best person and need to be protected and YOU HAVE SUCH BAD LUCK

like i dont say that lightly you literally do everything. you have a job and hobbies and interests and are a really good person and the entire universe just likes shitting on you in particular

like when i have things happen to me there are times im like well this is my fault i didnt do my hwk or im the one that fucked up etc

you literally just like. have shit happen to you for no reason

but then i have like incredibly awesome things to make up for my bad luck so there's that i guess. i guess thats why i usually dont let things get me down i just bitch on plurk

cause this is p much the only place where i can bitch about things openly lol

LIKE I JUST HAD THE BEST POST OP APPOINTMENT EVER

IM GONNA GO WRITE ABOUT IT IN ANOTHER POST

things are coming up alpha rn

LOL my friend said that yesterday too but with their name and i was like i really like that turn of phrase xD