I get that I have many bad habits

some of them are gross

but what people need to understand

that I do not consciously do them

it takes a strong kind person to continually tell me not to do something

I am more of an introver than an extrovert

people need to freaking understand that

I like to be in groups

and I like being included in things

ut 9 times out of 10

I like to be in the background

feeling a part of something. but not fully participating

saying it's wrong of me to be on my phone period when hanging with friends

and then turning around doing it

or saying that everyone else doing it is different

just pisses me off

I am pushing myself to be an extrovert

even when inside

my mind is yelling and panicking because it wants to be alone

but I know that's not healthy

and I am forcing myself

just because you're an extrovert does not mean I have to be one

just because you believe in having your own business or aiming for the top of a corporation does not mean I have to

I like working with my hands

I don't constantly want to be the leader

I feel satisfied with hard work

I like my hands feeling a bit rough

no I am not a typical girl

I am more than happy with that

no I am not super OCD or clean

Why? Look at my fucking family

I gave up on that shit a long time ago

oh you don't believe me when I say someone talks to me this way. When they don't talk to you that way?

that's because you're a fucking cotton candy all is good with the world type of girl that guys trip over trying to get to

not

I am not a pretty girl either

I'm fucking average at best

you know what that means? It means that I've learned I've had to rely on skills I have

one of those not being amazing people skills

ugh!!!!!

Unlike you, I did not have people to completely lean on when I needed to

I have had friends and we've lent on each other

I've had many people treat me horribly

other people take that persons side

why?

cause their personality is more likable

or simply because they only do it when no one else is looking

you don't believe me, because you haven't experienced it

you may hate your mother

and cry that you are so sad

but nearly everything you cry about

you could easily change if you wanted to

but you don't

you just complain over and over again about it

when plenty of people give you advice

you won't take it

thanks