And I feel like I pushed him away tonight because I didn't want to but I ended up begging him to give us another chance and crying in front of him and I think that just killed it.
But I guess I'm kind of glad I did because now that everything is final I can take steps toward moving forward. It just really sting right now and I don't know how I'll ever feel better.
Right now I'm just trying to rely on my family and reach out and make some friends. I really didn't have any other than his so I'm trying to create connections.