Went and renewed my permit to eventually get my license for like the 4th time today, all it did when I got back is remind me just how long I've had to do this

I really dislike the need to have to drive everywhere, and it doesn't help that where I live now I'm basically stranded without a car

So many things out of college would have already happened or would be going faster right now if I could drive, so I'm baffled that I haven't been more motivated to do this

But as soon as I got my permit again, I turned down driving with my dad when he got home, sort of just say around unsure what to do with myself. I'm actually very comfortable on the road by myself

Once I actually push myself to go and do it. But I guess I've always felt it nearly impossible to drive with my parents or the driving instructor in the car

It's weird since I don't get performance anxiety anywhere else, but when I'm behind the wheel I hate the feeling of being judged.

But like, this is what's holding me back from doing all these things, so maybe I'm just scared? I dunno I actually did a few errands this week that I wanted to do but I still feel like I was running in place

Picking up martial arts and training again is nice and all, but what am I even doing with my life. Today I suddenly felt really alien in my own house. Like I didn't want to be here

But I can easily fix all of my own problems here, I'm just not moving fast enough, I don't know what it is that's holding me back.

I want all these things to happen in the future but I feel like I'll never achieve them and deserve them because I'm so used to things being decided for me that I can't initiate myself

It's easier, safer, and less of a financial problem to live with my parents right now, but maybe I should move out and sort of force myself to actually take care of myself? Like when I still had an apartment.

I dunno I think the lack of a daily schedule and need for daily upkeep has made me stop caring about everything all together

I've actually been in this exact scenario. In the end, a driving instructor (one that have me about three lessons and then took me to the test) is the best thing.

Getting the license sucks. It won't get easier. But once you have it, I think it will be a huge confidence booster.

Not only for driving, but motivation in general? Maybe arranging the lesson's apart from your parents would help? Like, making the calls yourself, so it feels like something YOU are doing, not

something that your parents are involved in (because for me, whenever parents are involved too much, I wanna die). It also gives you more control in general.

But we're in kind of the same place. I mean, I'm not going to suggest moving across the country (unless you want that), but in terms of general productivity, putting distance between myself and my

parents has done wonders.

What Em said. I know that my own feeling of worthlessness has often stemmed from the amount of pressure my mother puts on me to do things, and once you really do take the steps on your own, you will feel more

motivated and confident about the direction you wish to move in.

Driving with your parents is always needlessly stressful no matter how many years you've been driving, my mom still doesn't trust me driving her places and I drive more and farther than she does regularly...

Yeah, what Dani said ^ Sometimes when I pick my parents up from somewhere (namely the airport) my mom throws a hissyfit until I let her or my dad drive and criticises me for everything

Motivation waxes and wanes and it can feel like you're running in place sometimes but you really are making progress and that shouldn't be looked past just because its not as fast as you think it should be!

Doesn't do much for the daily bluhs sometimes but it's good to keep in mind

In terms of say, getting work or something, I understand esp how far out along that road you live from the central area.
I know that our buddies were joking but also serious about having you get lessons from

them, so I dunno. If I had a vehicle, I'd do it myself for when we go up to Li and Rhi's and whatnot. Hindsight I could of made you drive, but on the other hand, Sae's car. ' _ ' ;;

Not sure how a vibrating car would of made you feel super safe. lmao.

I'm also in the boat of wtf am I doing with my life.
I don't really understand the parent thing all too much, and I have been driving since before I was legal age to even drive, so I don't understand that, but

I could apply it to other things. That and the fact I do understand the omg I ... really am floating on by.

I feel pretty unmotivated without being able to drive all of a sudden again. And what felt like not that big of a deal to go grab food or whatever, now feels like this epic quest to try to do.

Even a bike for you seems like it'd be alot, but that might at least help? Plus you can combine travel with working out? Idk.
Gettin' even a part time job might be good for you if you can get out there.

While I complain about work, I'm worse when I don't work because at least I am accomplishing on getting money. And right now with you living with your parents and (I'm only going to assume) not paying rent,

an EXCELLENT time to start a job so you can actually save up rather than worrying about bills and etc.

Ahaha all this was me when I went through that extended period with no job. It kind of becomes a vicious cycle wherein you do nothing, feel bad about it, comfort yourself by doing more of nothing, and then

stressing out worse when it piles up but not knowing where to start.

^^^^^^^^ THIS

Although I still have that even with a job. It just would be worse ahaha.
But no seriously, it helps since job = money = feeling like you're an adult = being able to move out and/or do more things in life

I feel like this is something that's pretty common to people right out of school, and it's incredibly frustrating. I think when we give up a regular schedule it's super hard to motivate yourself to do anything

and stressing about it just wears you out more.

The most I can say is just one step at a time.

I'd start with the car. Don't flip out about why it hasn't happened yet, just work toward getting to that. Forget about all the other shit until that's done.

It's definably something we learn socially/culturally that we have to be accomplishing something or at least be mandatory somewhere doing something whether we like it or not.

That's kind of how I got to be. I was flipping out about bills, moving out, etc etc. so I started with a job. Got that, and worked towards other things in the meantime. I still catch myself having lazy days,

but I'm learning that constantly flipping out about all the things I could be doing only leads me to doing absolutely none of it.

If I have something singular to focus on, it helps a lot.

and this is still a process I'm kind of learning to cope with, but I think it's also important to remember to just schedule yourself some time to chill out and relax.

Goddamn, I need to take that advice too.

Yeah I find that if I don't actually make time to do nothing/play video games/browse tumblr I just stress out when I inevitably do it anyway.

I feel like I'm somewhat hijacking, but I myself don't even know exactly where the hell to start with my stuff because even getting a car (at least for me ) is a whole new set of issues to deal with.