im so livid

my brother keeps calling me fat????

most of me is "you don't have to tell me what i know fuck off"

a very tiny logical part of me is saying "no you're fine"

but that tiny logical part is just idk how long it's going to last if this goes on

especially now that it's summer and i can't hide

but i don't want to go back down there i don't want to go back to purging

lol i'd purge and then feel like shit for doing it because i was wasting food but ppl were making me eat

but i didn't want it bc i didn't want to get fatter

fuck this

i cant deal with it especially not today when i tried on a cheongsam and it was way too tight bc my ass and thighs are too big

i especially cant deal with this at my parents bc everyone else is telling me to eat more bc im too skinny

so then i just end up purging more and feeling even shittier and then snacking all night

alternatively, alcohol which IS EVEN WORSE