The movie Deep Shock "A mysterious trench has formed on the ocean floor, and a deadly species of creature emerges from the depths" 2 min in and I'm: would be better with robots, and that's not how Navy/UN works
lol yes, that sounds really bad
The premise: Global warming is really caused by intelligent transmissions from beneath the ice cap so naturally the UN/Scientists/President want to send a really big bomb there.
...
And somehow there are 'eel-like' creatures involved.
wow
How to shoot the UN for your movie: 1. Rent an Auditorium. 2. Fill it a little bit with extras. 3. Place a bunch of flags against the stage curtain. 4. Have your actors use fake accents.
Super Effective.
Portray them deciding the fate of the world with an informal show of hands.
The name of the research station at the north pole is Hubris
that isn't obvious AT ALL
This research Station looks like the Cobra base in G.I. Joe Rise of Cobra...a little.
They communicate with the high-tech research station by fax? And then someone has to walk it down to where the guy in charge is??
I suspect the extra who carries the fax is a relative of the producer or something, because OMG the scene of running the fax thorough tunnels and up ladders was ACTION MOVIE STYLE
OMG the drama! barely 10 minutes in and it's already been decided nukes are the final option (for global warming they don't believe is caused by eels?) and one man, alone, speaks out to delay the launch.
HAha They are in a polar station and he says "I gotta put this thing on ice until cooler heads prevail."
This 'high tech' base has computers that look like those eMacs painted matte gray. Meanwhile, at the UN, they have some massive CRT monitors used with computers on their folding tables.
Also, the commander needs orders in writing by in-direct fax, but any old soldier holding a crew hostage can set-up a conference call with like everyone. Which, I guess could happen.
SPOILER his one-man-stand didn't last very long.
By now the audience is thinking: "Weren't here supposed to be monsters in this movie? Mark Sheppard is an awesome actor and all, but c'mon."
Also, seemingly randomly titles will flash across a black screen to give the location. >United Nations> But...the UN is conferencing with Hubris, so it's not a big scene change or anything.
If I were RPing from this movie my journal name would be like "unknown" or "NothingThatCanBeDetermined", because that's what everyone's sonar/radar/monitor tells them.
So you hear dialogue like "What is it?" "Unknown, seaman."
So, like they have 2 nukes. They launch the second before the first even nears the target. So, guess what surprise! The trench-folk have EMP weapons and you held nothing in reserve.
I cannot stress how much "unknown" is in this movie. I'm literally LOLing at scenes of "What are they?" [monitor shows three 'unknown objects' labeled as such] "I don't know! They're UNKNOWN!"
Wasn't this a Pokemon movie?
Curiously when 20 minutes in you see one of the monsters it pretty much looks like Bad-CG Gyrados and does electric attacks.
So much STROBE!
Prediction: now about is where they call the scientist chick who wanted more research time and beg her for Plan B.
Action title! "Sugarbush - Maine" Then we see the scientist chick who's import was only blatantly foreshadowed in earlier scenes.
Also, her character should win an award for least-affected disaster movie scientist whose theory has been rejected. Other's would be like "End of the World!" "Lakes don't heat up that fast in the sun!"
She's all "La di da, cross-country skiing is fun, better get some in before the alien transmissions melt the polar ice caps."
"Hi, I'm actor David Keith, I'll be your Action-Leading-Man from here on out"
They did the traveling via a red line and a map thing.
Now, we'll introduce The Team. Oh, didn't you guess Scientist chick and Action dude used to be married?
How to shoot turbulence. 1. Shake camera. That's it.
They just escalated the drama Plane crashed into the North Pole.
Pilots are dead. That's OK, they already served their purpose in the plot.
Oh snap, but the pilot had the frequency to activate the signal beacon. Oooops.
Isn't this a monster movie? Why aren't they fighting monsters? Because they are fighting The Dark. Seriously, the EMP like took out the power. But flip some switches and it's 100% operational.
This movie would have been 20% cooler if they used Magic Missile on the Dark.
This is my new OT3: Tough Scientist Chick/Action Dude/Political Jerk
"Let me understand your theory: You think giant electric eels opened the Polaris Rift to melt the ice caps and are now sending signals to someone in space?"
I found it on Amazon Prime video
Suddenly Possibly-Australian Scientist Chick is able to communicate with Gyrados, by reversing their transmissions.
This chick just drifted with Gyrados!
By that I mean there was an eye and then a wormhole and everything was tinted blue.
And she then reveals that there was 'contact' and she 'understands'
oh dear
also, lots of sweaters.
kjgkdfsj;lg pfffft
when was this movie made?
2002
The monitors still keep saying "unknown object" even when they've seen what it is.
And then there's a really confusing scene with shouting in which they manage to shoot their own minisub??
The eels have come from the trench to prepare Earth for their children.
Probably-British Political Jerk says 'they' will send yet another nuke in 1 hour.
But the UN says it's probably OK, because the fallout will be contained in new ice and supplies will only be short for about 20 years.
Action Dude is like: Woman, we may not get out of this alive, why aren't you being more affected and making out with me?
She's like: OK, if you insist.
He's all: Let me lay you on this desk.
No really, I'm close to breaking theses codes that may save the world.
smooch smooch
I kinda need to get back to work.
Let me run my fingers through your hair a while.
Work.
Don't let me stop you.
OK, guess I better stop returning all these kisses and work.
There's now a bunch of known objects on the screen. Subs. All of them
But, wait, the chick of the movie just solved the code!
Baby, I know you left me for that other guy who already died in this movie, but let's steal a mini-sub together and make contact.
But, real quick, let me ask, is it true you left me for him?
Uh, no. Duh, You broke my heart and I was never sleeping with him.
Are we discovering we're still in love right as we face a high probability of dying together? Yeah, I guess.
This time they don't have two really big bombs, they have lots of pretty small torpedos, so it'll work better, right?
Suddenly we're capable of texting with the eels.
Negative; it just impacted on the surface. <-sorta what happened
And then the Director poured water on everyone.
And then the Jerk drifted with a Gyrados and the eels all found out about the 'plan' to distract them away from the actual torpedoes with other torpedos???
But, just to be sure, let's see if our eel friends are online and text them. The eels say they don't have the power to stop all the torpedos. Earth will be uninhabitable for them.
What should our heroes (being Scien-chick, Action-man and Politi-jerk) do? The half-flooded research station is strong, but it'll stand a better chance of surviving the blast if they movie it.
What? Detach from the ice? Won't it sink?
Who wants to bet it falls into the trench?
Aw, no luck.
They managed to avoid the trench. HOWEVER!
The scientist has an awesome idea to help her fish friends. They can purposely flood the entire station and then escape in the mini-sub, leaving the station to
shelter the eels that want to flood Earth while they hibernate for 1000 years!
But wait, that traitorous politician guy stole the sub.
But, "It doesn't matter"
Does she want to just go live with the eels?
OK, so what just happened?
Well the Political jerk in the minisub got crushed by ocean pressures.
THe eels swam inside the flooded research station.
Torpedoes exploded all over the trench.
The research station first rode the shockwave a distance away.
Just when you think the couple will die together, holding each other in the dark, sinking station, they have POWER. Electric eels, remember!
And if they pilot the station at some exactly right angle it'll break through the ice and they'll be able to climb to the surface, before the station sinks again, making a nice underwater base for the eels
Good thing those warm coats we had earlier in the movie weren't stored in the flooded part of the station.
Good thing we also had this sat phone in the coat pocket.
Later, the Scientist makes a speech saying the creatures are destroyed (they aren't) and no one should go search for at least 5 years (for their own safety)
The UN is like: Sure, based on your non-biased and professional opinion, we'll make sure no one comes within 100 km of that site for at least 5 years.
Haha, good thing we'll both be long gone when those eels come out of hibernation in 1000 years. Let's move back in together.
Uh...and maybe not have kids, because then our descendants would have to deal with the whole intelligent eel signals causing global warming thing, again.
Best Ending.
fff So basically "LET'S JUST DELAY THE END OF THE WORLD because I'm animal-friendly"??
XD funny live-blogging