lol yes, that sounds really bad
Karan
2013-08-28T01:09:08.000Z
The premise: Global warming is really caused by intelligent transmissions from beneath the ice cap so naturally the UN/Scientists/President want to send a really big bomb there.
Karan
2013-08-28T01:09:24.000Z
And somehow there are 'eel-like' creatures involved.
Karan
2013-08-28T01:11:35.000Z
How to shoot the UN for your movie: 1. Rent an Auditorium. 2. Fill it a little bit with extras. 3. Place a bunch of flags against the stage curtain. 4. Have your actors use fake accents.
Karan
2013-08-28T01:11:54.000Z
Super Effective.
Karan
2013-08-28T01:13:22.000Z
Portray them deciding the fate of the world with an informal show of hands.
Karan
2013-08-28T01:14:23.000Z
The name of the research station at the north pole is Hubris
that isn't obvious AT ALL
Karan
2013-08-28T01:16:10.000Z
This research Station looks like the Cobra base in G.I. Joe Rise of Cobra...a little.
Karan
2013-08-28T01:17:10.000Z
They communicate with the high-tech research station by fax? And then someone has to walk it down to where the guy in charge is??
Karan
2013-08-28T01:18:47.000Z
I suspect the extra who carries the fax is a relative of the producer or something, because OMG the scene of running the fax thorough tunnels and up ladders was ACTION MOVIE STYLE
Karan
2013-08-28T01:21:31.000Z
OMG the drama! barely 10 minutes in and it's already been decided nukes are the final option (for global warming they don't believe is caused by eels?) and one man, alone, speaks out to delay the launch.
Karan
2013-08-28T01:24:28.000Z
HAha They are in a polar station and he says "I gotta put this thing on ice until cooler heads prevail."
Karan
2013-08-28T01:28:17.000Z
This 'high tech' base has computers that look like those eMacs painted matte gray. Meanwhile, at the UN, they have some massive CRT monitors used with computers on their folding tables.
Karan
2013-08-28T01:29:09.000Z
Also, the commander needs orders in writing by in-direct fax, but any old soldier holding a crew hostage can set-up a conference call with like everyone. Which, I guess could happen.
Karan
2013-08-28T01:29:25.000Z
SPOILER his one-man-stand didn't last very long.
Karan
2013-08-28T01:30:40.000Z
By now the audience is thinking: "Weren't here supposed to be monsters in this movie? Mark Sheppard is an awesome actor and all, but c'mon."
Karan
2013-08-28T01:32:11.000Z
Also, seemingly randomly titles will flash across a black screen to give the location. >United Nations> But...the UN is conferencing with Hubris, so it's not a big scene change or anything.
Karan
2013-08-28T01:33:47.000Z
If I were RPing from this movie my journal name would be like "unknown" or "NothingThatCanBeDetermined", because that's what everyone's sonar/radar/monitor tells them.
Karan
2013-08-28T01:35:31.000Z
So you hear dialogue like "What is it?" "Unknown, seaman."
Karan
2013-08-28T01:38:38.000Z
So, like they have 2 nukes. They launch the second before the first even nears the target. So, guess what surprise! The trench-folk have EMP weapons and you held nothing in reserve.
Karan
2013-08-28T01:40:38.000Z
I cannot stress how much "unknown" is in this movie. I'm literally LOLing at scenes of "What are they?" [monitor shows three 'unknown objects' labeled as such] "I don't know! They're UNKNOWN!"
Karan
2013-08-28T01:40:50.000Z
Wasn't this a Pokemon movie?
Karan
2013-08-28T01:42:35.000Z
Curiously when 20 minutes in you see one of the monsters it pretty much looks like Bad-CG Gyrados and does electric attacks.
Karan
2013-08-28T01:43:31.000Z
So much STROBE!
Karan
2013-08-28T01:44:37.000Z
Prediction: now about is where they call the scientist chick who wanted more research time and beg her for Plan B.
Karan
2013-08-28T01:46:32.000Z
Action title! "Sugarbush - Maine" Then we see the scientist chick who's import was only blatantly foreshadowed in earlier scenes.
Karan
2013-08-28T01:48:40.000Z
Also, her character should win an award for least-affected disaster movie scientist whose theory has been rejected. Other's would be like "End of the World!" "Lakes don't heat up that fast in the sun!"
Karan
2013-08-28T01:49:20.000Z
She's all "La di da, cross-country skiing is fun, better get some in before the alien transmissions melt the polar ice caps."
Karan
2013-08-28T01:51:01.000Z
"Hi, I'm actor David Keith, I'll be your Action-Leading-Man from here on out"
Karan
2013-08-28T01:53:20.000Z
They did the traveling via a red line and a map thing.
Karan
2013-08-28T01:54:50.000Z
Now, we'll introduce The Team. Oh, didn't you guess Scientist chick and Action dude used to be married?
Karan
2013-08-28T01:55:32.000Z
How to shoot turbulence. 1. Shake camera. That's it.
Karan
2013-08-28T01:56:41.000Z
They just escalated the drama Plane crashed into the North Pole.
Karan
2013-08-28T01:57:18.000Z
Pilots are dead. That's OK, they already served their purpose in the plot.
Karan
2013-08-28T01:58:31.000Z
Oh snap, but the pilot had the frequency to activate the signal beacon. Oooops.
Karan
2013-08-28T02:04:04.000Z
Isn't this a monster movie? Why aren't they fighting monsters? Because they are fighting The Dark. Seriously, the EMP like took out the power. But flip some switches and it's 100% operational.
Karan
2013-08-28T02:04:39.000Z
This movie would have been 20% cooler if they used Magic Missile on the Dark.
Karan
2013-08-28T02:07:15.000Z
This is my new OT3: Tough Scientist Chick/Action Dude/Political Jerk
Karan
2013-08-28T02:09:59.000Z
"Let me understand your theory: You think giant electric eels opened the Polaris Rift to melt the ice caps and are now sending signals to someone in space?"
Karan
2013-08-28T02:12:52.000Z
I found it on Amazon Prime video
Karan
2013-08-28T02:15:09.000Z
Suddenly Possibly-Australian Scientist Chick is able to communicate with Gyrados, by reversing their transmissions.
Karan
2013-08-28T02:16:29.000Z
This chick just drifted with Gyrados!
Karan
2013-08-28T02:17:13.000Z
By that I mean there was an eye and then a wormhole and everything was tinted blue.
Karan
2013-08-28T02:18:17.000Z
And she then reveals that there was 'contact' and she 'understands'
Karan
2013-08-28T02:18:52.000Z
also, lots of sweaters.
when was this movie made?
Karan
2013-08-28T02:22:10.000Z
2002
Karan
2013-08-28T02:22:44.000Z
The monitors still keep saying "unknown object" even when they've seen what it is.
Karan
2013-08-28T02:25:41.000Z
And then there's a really confusing scene with shouting in which they manage to shoot their own minisub??
Karan
2013-08-28T02:28:58.000Z
The eels have come from the trench to prepare Earth for their children.
Karan
2013-08-28T02:29:43.000Z
Probably-British Political Jerk says 'they' will send yet another nuke in 1 hour.
Karan
2013-08-28T02:31:11.000Z
But the UN says it's probably OK, because the fallout will be contained in new ice and supplies will only be short for about 20 years.
Karan
2013-08-28T02:33:15.000Z
Action Dude is like: Woman, we may not get out of this alive, why aren't you being more affected and making out with me?
Karan
2013-08-28T02:33:34.000Z
She's like: OK, if you insist.
Karan
2013-08-28T02:34:27.000Z
He's all: Let me lay you on this desk.
Karan
2013-08-28T02:34:44.000Z
No really, I'm close to breaking theses codes that may save the world.
Karan
2013-08-28T02:34:51.000Z
smooch smooch
Karan
2013-08-28T02:36:02.000Z
I kinda need to get back to work.
Karan
2013-08-28T02:36:17.000Z
Let me run my fingers through your hair a while.
Karan
2013-08-28T02:36:22.000Z
Work.
Karan
2013-08-28T02:36:31.000Z
Don't let me stop you.
Karan
2013-08-28T02:36:49.000Z
OK, guess I better stop returning all these kisses and work.
Karan
2013-08-28T02:39:24.000Z
There's now a bunch of known objects on the screen. Subs. All of them
Karan
2013-08-28T02:39:42.000Z
But, wait, the chick of the movie just solved the code!
Karan
2013-08-28T02:40:41.000Z
Baby, I know you left me for that other guy who already died in this movie, but let's steal a mini-sub together and make contact.
Karan
2013-08-28T02:40:56.000Z
But, real quick, let me ask, is it true you left me for him?
Karan
2013-08-28T02:41:13.000Z
Uh, no. Duh, You broke my heart and I was never sleeping with him.
Karan
2013-08-28T02:41:54.000Z
Are we discovering we're still in love right as we face a high probability of dying together? Yeah, I guess.
Karan
2013-08-28T02:44:38.000Z
This time they don't have two really big bombs, they have lots of pretty small torpedos, so it'll work better, right?
Karan
2013-08-28T02:45:59.000Z
Suddenly we're capable of texting with the eels.
Karan
2013-08-28T02:47:43.000Z
Negative; it just impacted on the surface. <-sorta what happened
Karan
2013-08-28T02:51:41.000Z
And then the Director poured water on everyone.
Karan
2013-08-28T02:55:42.000Z
And then the Jerk drifted with a Gyrados and the eels all found out about the 'plan' to distract them away from the actual torpedoes with other torpedos???
Karan
2013-08-28T02:57:41.000Z
But, just to be sure, let's see if our eel friends are online and text them. The eels say they don't have the power to stop all the torpedos. Earth will be uninhabitable for them.
Karan
2013-08-28T02:58:55.000Z
What should our heroes (being Scien-chick, Action-man and Politi-jerk) do? The half-flooded research station is strong, but it'll stand a better chance of surviving the blast if they movie it.
Karan
2013-08-28T02:59:08.000Z
What? Detach from the ice? Won't it sink?
Karan
2013-08-28T02:59:27.000Z
Who wants to bet it falls into the trench?
Karan
2013-08-28T03:01:21.000Z
Aw, no luck.
Karan
2013-08-28T03:01:36.000Z
They managed to avoid the trench. HOWEVER!
Karan
2013-08-28T03:02:14.000Z
The scientist has an awesome idea to help her fish friends. They can purposely flood the entire station and then escape in the mini-sub, leaving the station to
Karan
2013-08-28T03:02:35.000Z
shelter the eels that want to flood Earth while they hibernate for 1000 years!
Karan
2013-08-28T03:03:01.000Z
But wait, that traitorous politician guy stole the sub.
Karan
2013-08-28T03:04:28.000Z
But, "It doesn't matter"
Karan
2013-08-28T03:04:40.000Z
Does she want to just go live with the eels?
Karan
2013-08-28T03:08:55.000Z
OK, so what just happened?
Karan
2013-08-28T03:09:14.000Z
Well the Political jerk in the minisub got crushed by ocean pressures.
Karan
2013-08-28T03:09:28.000Z
THe eels swam inside the flooded research station.
Karan
2013-08-28T03:09:39.000Z
Torpedoes exploded all over the trench.
Karan
2013-08-28T03:10:06.000Z
The research station first rode the shockwave a distance away.
Karan
2013-08-28T03:12:33.000Z
Just when you think the couple will die together, holding each other in the dark, sinking station, they have POWER. Electric eels, remember!
Karan
2013-08-28T03:14:22.000Z
And if they pilot the station at some exactly right angle it'll break through the ice and they'll be able to climb to the surface, before the station sinks again, making a nice underwater base for the eels
Karan
2013-08-28T03:15:49.000Z
Good thing those warm coats we had earlier in the movie weren't stored in the flooded part of the station.
Karan
2013-08-28T03:16:53.000Z
Good thing we also had this sat phone in the coat pocket.
Karan
2013-08-28T03:18:32.000Z
Later, the Scientist makes a speech saying the creatures are destroyed (they aren't) and no one should go search for at least 5 years (for their own safety)
Karan
2013-08-28T03:19:16.000Z
The UN is like: Sure, based on your non-biased and professional opinion, we'll make sure no one comes within 100 km of that site for at least 5 years.
Karan
2013-08-28T03:20:55.000Z
Haha, good thing we'll both be long gone when those eels come out of hibernation in 1000 years. Let's move back in together.
Karan
2013-08-28T03:21:47.000Z
Uh...and maybe not have kids, because then our descendants would have to deal with the whole intelligent eel signals causing global warming thing, again.
Karan
2013-08-28T03:21:59.000Z
Best Ending.
นຖຖi
2013-08-28T08:32:36.000Z
fff So basically "LET'S JUST DELAY THE END OF THE WORLD because I'm animal-friendly"??
นຖຖi
2013-08-28T08:32:42.000Z
XD funny live-blogging