i gotta clean the kitchen real quick but i guess i'll do a life update after?

ye

okay um where do i start...

im still not back in school or taking any courses... nor do i have any immediate plans to. mom and i agreed that i should focus on getting my depression and anxiety under control before i

start school full time... and no individual courses interest me right now...

that said, im still clueless as to what it is i'd like to pursue but one thing at a time i guess.

also still jobless BUT!! i got an offer at a youth centre i go to to do some sewing workshops! i really hope it works out bc i like the people there and im comfortable with them

plus. money.

um what else...

my relationship with mom is better than it was before and im living with her again, though it's kinda rocky at times. i think we're getting better at admitting our faults and solving them?

with dad... i realized i have a lot of internalized hate for him. there are a lot of things that im unsure about regarding him and his past and it annoys me to no end that he won't come out and say anything

i'd ask him about them except 1) every time i try to talk to him about serious issues i end up wanting to punch him in the face and 2)he's absolutely terrifying when enraged

idk if i've ever talked about it... but when he gets legit mad, he gets all in your face and wont leave you alone, he yells the house down and he has a completely different voice. he also resorts to violent

threats and doesnt care who hears it. its really rare for that to happen but when it has in the past, my grandmother has had to intervene and try to calm him down

so yeah. i dont think i'll be able to be fully honest relationship w him any time soon.

as long as i pretend that everything is hunky-dorey, i can stay on his good side :T

moving onto something more positive!!

i uh... kind of have a dumb crush on this guy i met at anime north 2 weeks ago (as most of you already know bc i havent been able to shut up about it).

quick rundown: he cosplayed as caesar zeppeli from jojos, charmed me to heck and back, asked to kiss my cheek even though i just asked for a hug??? got his digits and we've been in contact since

he's not actually as flirty as he was at the convention which is prolly for the best but he said that he gets hit on a lot at work... which is prolly why he seems to ignore when i try to flirt?

in any case he seems legit nice and also is open to learning how to twerk? bless.

but he also lives in montreal which is 6 hrs away

which wouldnt be so bad if i had the money and means to travel often

and now i am just sort of rambling so im gonna go back to reading bad yaois bye