so i am home for a lil while

taking care of my mom so she can heal from surgery

she doesnt know how to relax so she is in pain all the time

so im forcing her to relax

she has to go for a couple of chemo sessions as a precautionary measure

whatever helps!! i want her to be safe and healthy

my gramma isnt doing well

she has to be on dialysis for a few days to help her kidneys work, becaus ethey are failing

her body is filled with fluid because she isnt peeing

she has a tube down her throat to help her breathe because her heart was failing too

so she cant talk

but she has a notebook she writes in to speak to us

she was away today for the first time in a couple of days

and she saw me

she wrote down "your hair doesnt match with your glasses"

then "i didnt want you to see me like this"

which broke my heart

i gotta be here for my gramma, and i know she knows that

but she never wanted to be like this, hooked up to machines keeping her alive

she still has her sense of humor though

we told her she was on dialysis, and for how long she needs to be on it and she rolled her eyes like "im done with this shit"

very emotional tho

very very emotional

crying every day