so last night i spilled beer on my computer and may have shorted the motherboard.

the thing is, the reason i spilled it is etirely my own fault.

I had just sat back down after getting my beer, and didnt want to stand up to get my bottle opener. So i attempted to open the bottle using my keys.

I probably should have given up when i got 3 deep cuts on my fingers, but either way, I kept going and when the cap came off, about 1/8th of the beer flew directly on to my compter

So basically, as I've been thinking about it more and more recently, I realize that this is entirely my own fault. I had an infinite number of possible choices in that situation.

I chose to not stand up and get my bottle opener. Nothing made me do it other than me.

There was no causal necessity to it. It was because I made it that way.

Its a pretty scary thought considering I have an infinte realm of possibility, and yet I still constantly am defined by the 1 possibility i choose each time.

I could go drink bleach right now and kill myself, and having that absolute power and freedom is pretty terrifyng.

All this cause of some beer on my computer and some sartre on my brain.

but really, the fact that I have so much control and freedom means I have unlimited responsiblity for every single thing i have ever done.

and that's also pretty scary considering I don't have an excuse in anything I do.

so yeah, welcome to how i think and what i think about.

Jesus fucking Christ that was heavy

welcome to the world of existentialism where everything is your fault, and your life doesn't matter.