I don't wanna

I want to stay home and draw or go to the gym not stand about for ages trying not to take bets on how many months this marriage is going to last

(and before you condemn me as being a bitch this girl has been married twice in the past 5 years already and I've known her since she was ten)

Oh I love weddings >.>

yyyeeeaaaah

Ah

not these ones

something always goes wrong

I might just bring the camcorder and wait for the youtube moment

shut up I am not bitter about having to wear a dress

blah blah how are you?

You can't wear pants instead?

nope

obligatory bridesmaid

alas

I am slow cuz phone Plurking lol

Ah well that sucks

yeah wish I could get out of it but no luck

honestly most of the reason I'm going is to support the other frieds I have who also got ringed into it

I'm sort of a verbal bodyguard; if someone starts hitting on them they fire up the mod symbol

apparently I'm good at detering them

I've had some interesting wedding moments

Once a mother-in-law bitchslapped the other mother-in-law

oooooh

...wow

And once my mom was tipsy and didn't realize the guy she was pushing me to dance with was drunk as a skunk

oops

Until he felt up my butt and then passed out in the floor

:| charming

see this is why I'm useful I don't drink and had a solid training in verbal bitchslapping at school

Indeed

You are a wedding bodyguard

I would actually love to see you tell off prospective ill-fated suitors, actually.

I think it would be fantastic.

it's part of the UK school curriculum; how to deflect the affections of sleezy stinkbags

you know along with sarcasm training and misdirection

I would pay good money to see photographic evidence of you in a dress

I will burn all evidence

including the witnesses if I have to

and the only funny part about that is that I completely believe that you would