I had the motivation to get me to Chapters so I could get out of the house and get some work done

all it's done is made me realize I'm fucked, almost cry in public, and email my TA in hopes she'll let me have a private meeting with her

and now I can't find the will to move from my table

why do I have to be such a monumental fuck-up in my first year of university jesus christ

because it's your first year.

I should know better, not being out of high school and actually used to saddling responsibility

I'm just reminding myself of my fucking useless ex-friend who rants about how much he wants to change and never fucking does because he too highly of himself to actually see the issue

*thinks

the issue being I have an ego filled with stupid dreams and false confidence that I need to stamp out so I can actually start getting my shit together

just don't be like me and completely lose confidence

idk if I have or not, or what I should be judging as confidence when I'm on my medication

all I know is that I ain't moving from this chair in chapters until I know a ride is coming to pick me up

afaic, occasional freakouts are okay. they help keep things in perspective

I just wish this one would have happened like

a week ago, when I needed it

:C

At this rate I think I'm close to losing 20% off one of my courses, unless I can make a deal with the TA

bluh, can't wait until this year's over with @_@

yikes