Depends -- I would have the green light to refuse to do things I would rather not..

My good college friend doesn't do BJ's with her man and he's okay with it because they've been together for over a year

eh, depends... it's not a deal breaker, but it's possibly a bit of a red flag

it can be a very good indication that she's not really.... adventurous, shall we say? and i can't do vanilla... not for long, anyways