I feel awful... I really need a break but I already want to know what she's doing... I can't stop but asking myself if she'll hurt herself

or something like that

Or if she's just trying to distract herself somehow...

I just don't have the strength at the moment to put up with everything...

Truth is... I started hurting myself again... no cutting... but doing other stuff that doesn't leave permanent marks...

I don't know why I'm in that dark hole again... I just can't anymore...

And as bad as it makes me feel... I need some time for myself...

But yet I keep clicking her Skype... tempted to write her...

And it's not even a day when I told her that I need a break...

-curls up-

Jen...

-bites lip- hi...

any reason why you didn't tell me about this?

... I didn't think it was important? ... plus you have more than anough on your own plate right now... I didn't want to bother you...

*enough

uhu...and when have i ever cared about that?

and it's important to you

hence important to moi

what happened?

I'm just more concerned about you than about myself

it's hard to explain... I just can't be her psychlogist anymore... I can't put up with her getting defensive immediatly anymore

I can't put up with her twisting words around anymore

I just need a break from that...

... but yet I already miss talking to her...

who knows, maybe I'm a masochist? -small smile- ...

no it's not being a masochist, you're just really used to talking to her every day that you need to kick off

bad explanation ftw

it's completely understandable though that you can't handle that anymore

you know i know that.. -small smile-

you're her girlfriend, not her therapist or psychologist or anything else, yes you should help her but not at the cost of yourself

and not as a therapist or anything

that's not what girlfriends are for at all

yeah... I'm just not sure right now what's better for me... not talking to her or just talking to her... both make me feel awful
'

everyone comes to the end of their rope at a certain time, the fact that you need some time apart isn't necessarily a bad thingn

look at how you describe it Jen...

the moment you think talking to her is awful it isn't right you know that

right now it's hard

but it gets better every moment

hug

I hope so...