Wow, how pathetic am I, I did a meme on Tumblr and someone asked me for "3 big dreams" & I'm genuinely considering deleting the whole thing.
All I could think to write was "I would like to go to grad school"
but honestly if you think I'm going to survive undergrad you are crazier than i am.
Like I was going to write "I'd like to live on my own" but that sounds A) totally pathetic, and 
come on, who actually thinks that will
come on, who actually thinks that will
happen/turn out well.
And you can't say something like "I would like to somehow, magically get three months without making a serious plan to kill myself."
That's just not cool.
I sort of vacillate between thinking that anyone who knows me must have a high tolerance for pathetic/fucked-up stuff and thinking that I
really shouldn't let anything on because obviously they don't know and when they do they'll leave. As they ought.
I mean I have to clarify here I'm not sitting around rending my clothes and demanding sympathy over this. I just take it as read and want
to move on.