So my sister's seminary graduation is coming, and the plan had been for all of us to fly out to CA for it. But I just got that new lab job.

My parents still want me to ask off for 2 days unpaid leave so I can go. I'm uncomfortable with that because, ok,

It's not like a food service job where absences are a gigantic deal but the timing is so horrid that I'm afraid it'll leave a bad impression

I got stuck in paperwork hell (their fault) so my start date got delayed and now I would be asking a week or two after I started working.

Am I within my rights to tell them that I won't ask because it's not appropriate? Or am I just being paranoid and awkward?

It's a tough situation. There's no real right answer but there's a couple things to keep in mind

If your work environment isn't particularly harsh and you feel like there won't be any negativity for just asking, there's no harm in asking

But your concern is absolutely valid and not risking your job is a valid reason to tell yer family to shove it

Well, my family's pretty nice on the whole. And I doubt they'll fire me for asking, I'm just worried about how it looks.

Annnnd I really don't know how harsh the environment is because I am still stuck in paperwork hell. I may or may not start work on Tuesday.

But I'm almost definitely going to be working by her graduation, so. Just sucky timing.

You have a right to ask because it is a graduation that had been planned for months already.

It would be different if you just happened to decide you wanted to go to California this afternoon.

I think it's rather obvious that the issue here is the sucky timing, not you wanting to go on an irresponsbile spree.

Especially if you're open about your concerns.

Hmmm. Ok, thanks. I'll still think on it a bit, but at least it's not so outrageously horrible like I had built it up in my head.

I agree with witchcrafter, and I'd certainly love to see you, but will understand if you can't make it

I would feel it out once you start, honestly. You may be working with super nice people who would totally understand and want you not to

what is the company policy on it?

miss something important just for a job where your absence wouldn't be a big deal anyway.

OR they might be judgey assholes.

if you can't make it for my graduation, I will see you at the nebulous future point where you come visit!