plurk buddy is everyone's buddy

this is literally the worst news ive heard all day

yeah man i cant get rid of that motherfucker

i've been trying to since 2007

im goijng to cry and get snot all over both of you

Doki doki dirk u can get ur snot anywhere on me golly dickens gee whiz!!!

fucks ur hot butt

Oh dirk kisses u into space and adventures fisticuffs?

We are officialy....................SPACE GAY

Id be any gay for you strider! Jesus christmas!

Together we're the gayest gays two gays have ever been.

Oh strider bro i love being in space gay with you.

We're soaring over the moon on a unicorn touching each others cocks.

Into the stars and frotting all the way out of the galaxy.

Space the final gay frontier, finally conquered by English and Strider.

These were the voyages of the starship JakeDirk.

Stardate what the fuck ever. I have spent much time with my dick up English's butt. I am restless.

Today we visited a planet way off of the charts, far past the last sign of civilization, the ao3 fellatio tag.

There was not much to see. Nothing I couldn't just get from English himself, anyway.

As he rode me reverse cowboy style, I looked overhead and saw the bright red planet, and a strange message played, "doki...doki"

It was the language of the overhead planets, a distant message that I understood to mean "my kokoro is beating for you".

Jake smiles at me, his face flushed bright red. "T-this is my home, Dirk..." he stutters. I smile solemnly in return.

Once more I reminded myself that we could never visit the planet where the blue ladies resided. He would be lost to me forever.

"D-do you mine if we pop in for a quick visit?" he says shyly. I cringe inwardly, I... can't lose him... not again I think.

My heart ached, and shattered and I almost died but since I was Vulcan and shit I didn't. "Jake," I whispered, "no...we can't..."

"I....I understand," he said as he hopped down off of my censored and started to cry, looking at his planet forlornly.

It broke my heart even more to see that. I loved him so much, more than all the planets. Yet it was also why I couldn't stand to lose him.

"I...I love you, Dirk," he looks back at me, before screaming, "beam me down, Scotty!"

I almost scream after him, but I have a reputation at stake. So I just cry manly tears instead. He is gone.

As I walk away from the site of the disaster, a single ironic tear falling down my cheek, I hear a small "aishiteru Dirk!" on the speakers.

I look up, unable to hide the shock on my face, stopping dead in my tracks. Am I just imagining things?

"I'd give you my kokoro any day," his voice is faint, but strong, and almost certainly his. I can feel it...in my....heart... my soul.