would appreciate it if Feliks would just ignore the damn guns. Suicide isn't an option, got it?

laughs. "But, it is."

shakes his head, glaring at him. He'd had enough with people breaking down on him- his brother, Gilbert, himself... He doesn't need Feliks

committing suicide. "No way in hell. You should sell all those guns or put them somewhere and forget about them. You. Will. Not. Commit.

Suicide."

starts to cry, weakly and pathetically. "But, I like don't even care any more. Everything hurts more than it's worth."

stares at Feliks. "Are you really that weak, Feliks?! That you would try to throw your life away after someone broke your heart?! You can

and will move on! I swear to God, even if I have to personally get you through this... You just can't give up like that!" He pauses to

breathe deeply.

"You're a good friend, Lovino. I... I like can't thank you enough for that... but it's too hard to go on like this. He's all I know...

he's like been my best friend for ever. I like really don't even have a reason to stick around any more. It all hurts too much. I'm so weak.

It's pathetic, I like tell myself that all the time. But, that like doesn't change anything.

"

takes a second to just stare at his broken down mass of a friend. "Why can't you just go back to being friends then? Doesn't he still want

to be friends? And if you love him or if you ever loved him, you'll settle for just friends, got it?" He angrily pushes his hands into his

almost smiles at that. "Oh, you like think he's the only reason I'm... like this?"

pockets. "If you don't have any other reason to live, live for your country and your people."

frowns. "Yes... my people. I wish I could like just be a person for once."

shakes his head. "Then why else, Poland? Why else are you being a depressive, suicidal... Coward?" He flings the word angrily. "Well, guess

what? You're not a human, so get over it. You're a country, you have responsibilities!"

covers his face with his hands. "Yeah, you're like totally right... nothing even matters except my people... but how do you do it? I feel so

human..."

shakes his head. "No. Other things matter, too. And... I just do it. There's no 'how'. There just is."

stares at the ground contemplatively. "You probably like don't want to be my friend any more..."

sighs irritatedly. "No. But I'm going to keep being your friend anyway. Cuz you need one."

smiles tearfully at Lovino. "You like... that means a lot to me. Thank you."

shakes his head. "Yeah, yeah. Don't get all sappy on me. You're welcome. So you won't kill yourself, si?"

"Okay."

"Good. Now we're going to go out, buy some ice cream and rent and watch crappy movies until you feel better."

"That'd be like the most amazing thing ever."

nods. "Alright. Come on, let's go get you ice cream." He says, foreseeing a long night full of tears and lots of ranting from Feliks.

follows meekly.

walks into the supermarket and goes straight to the ice cream isle. "Well? Which flavor?" He asks, gesturing to them.

"Rainbow."

stares at Feliks for a long moment before he takes out the rainbow sherbert from the freezer, handing it to the blonde. "How's this?"

nods. "Good."

a crisp nod, walking off. "Alright, let's go look at some movies then."

follows silently.

looks around at all the movies. "So? What movies do you like?"

shrugs. "Like, I'm up for anything that isn't romantic."

nods. "How about this?" He hands him a mafioso movie. It'll probably have lots of inaccuracies and shit, but he doesn't care.

if the violence will somehow distract him from his depression. Hopefully. "Okay."

goes through a couple more movies before taking out a comedy and handing it to him. "This one too."

nods.

looks over at him strangely. "Why are you so damn quiet?"

knows that if he talks he'll start crying. He's sick of crying. He shrugs.

maybe a little worried. Maybe. He walks over to the check-out counter and ignores the weird looks he gets. He pays and goes to the door.

follows like a ghost.

walks back home, opening the door to poland's house, which they both sort of forgot to lock.

collapses onto the couch.

walks after Feliks, staring down at him. "... Get up." He says going into the kitchen to get spoons.

groans and rolls onto the floor.

goes over to Feliks, pulling him up. "Seriously? Stop being so pathetic.." He says flatly. "God, you're heavy."

wrinkles his nose at that. "Are you calling me fat?"

huffs. "And if I am? You gonna do something about it?" He challenges, going over and grabbing the ice cream from the bags.

picks up a couch pillow with what would normally be a wicked grin, and tosses it at Lovino. "Challenge accepted."

hit in the back of the head with it. "Hey! The fuck?" He stoops down and picks up the pillow, throwing back at Feliks as he gets closer.

grabs a couple more pillows and begins a full out attack.

catches a majority of them and letting the others fly past him. "You're gonna break something!" He yells, throwing the pillows back at

Feliks with a growl.

sees nothing within the immediate vicinity that is fragile, and continues to pelt his friend with pillows.

starting to get annoyed with this pillow fight, picking up the pillows and going over to smother Feliks in them.

pretends to suffocate.

moves away after a bit, glaring down at him. "You okay?"

smiles, but says nothing.

looks irritated and confusedly down at him. "Why're you being so fucking silent?" He demands, taking up another pillow and shoving it in his

face.

shrugs under the pillow.

takes the pillow away, finding that Poland not talking is annoying him more than Poland talking too much. "Say something, dammit!"

"Hi."

stares at him for a long moment before shoving the pillow back in the Pole's face.

relaxes a bit. He wonders if he'll suffocate.

pulls the pillow away after a bit, staring at him. "Stop trying to die."

"Kay."

sets the pillow off to the side. "Don't just say 'kay'. Promise."

frowns. "But, like how can I make a promise if I can't keep it?"

glares at him. "You will keep it!"

sighs. "Okay."

him a cautious look. "So that's a promise?"

nods, biting his lip.

moves away. "Good. You better keep that promise. Or I'll... Kill you or something."

cracks a grin. "Like that'll help."

crosses his arms over his chest. "I don't care if it won't help. Just shut up. I'll do something bad if you break your promise."

hugs Lovino out of the blue. "Like, thanks... for everything."

.. Not sure what to do about that. He hugs back a little. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. You're welcome."

twirls about and sticks a dvd in the dvd player.

goes to sit down on the couch, grabbing the ice cream and a couple spoons. "God, you're such a girl."

waves to hush him, his eyes glued on the screen. He grabs a spoon and an ice cream and digs in ravenously. He hasn't eaten in hours.

rolls his eyes. " Don't shush me." He starts to eat some of the ice cream, going silent and watching the movie.

forgets himself for a little bit.

tries not to point out all the inaccuracies, but is having a tough time of it. They even got the Italian wrong!

totally lost. This is worse than inception. But, he refrains from asking too many questions.

knows exactly what's going on and finds it kind of stupid. The thugs are too nice, the way they kill is off, the guns are all wrong...

covers his ears and closes his eyes in all of the fight scenes.

looks over at Feliks with a dead-pan expression. "Really?"

"Like...really. It's... loud... and scary."

shakes his head. "Not really. We can turn it off if you want."

"N-no... I like wanna know what happens."

shrugs. "We can fast forward or mute it. But you might miss stuff."

"Okay."

presses the fast-forward button, waiting for it to skip over the violent scenes.

sighs and presses his hands to his face. "Ugh."

glances over at him. "What's wrong?"

"It's like... every time I think I'll be alright it starts again... it's like... I don't even know."

pauses the movie, eying the blonde. "What starts?"

"The feeling... it's like hell. I'm being swallowed up by it right now." His voice has taken on a tremor.

shakes his head. "You're fine Feliks. It's alright." He reaches out to lay a hand on his shoulder.

jerks in response but then looks at Lovino with wide eyes and relaxes a bit. He's gone deathly pale.

admittedly worried about his friend. "Do you need water or something?

"

shakes his head. "Just...can't like stop thinking... Liet needed me and I let him get dragged off like it was not even a big deal... what a

shit friend I am."

stares at him. "Dragged off where? By who? The hell Feliks?

"Russia." His eyes go dark. "That fucking bastard... if I could I'd like kick his ass."

picks up one of spoons and fills it with ice cream before shoving it into Feliks mouth. "Shut up and stop beating yourself up. Eat. Be

happy." He doesn't deal with distraught people well.

shuts up and fills his mouth with ice cream. That's a start.