just as much as they love it to have pissed on items

Eh, pissing on something that's been shrinkwrapped is sort of counterproductive.

hmmm

stealing their cat then

We have a slap-ding bell at reception in case no one is there and people apologize profusely when they use it. Amusing.

I thought about creating a timer switch to work with a wireless doorbell that only allows it to be rung every thirty seconds.

In the interim it would make a local fart noise to embarrass the bell jackass.

You'd make millions, George.

Seriously, George. Great idea.