So there's this guy on my hall

Let's just call him...

"Elliot"

He's a Tea-Party republican that self identifies as Libertarian (HAH), is racist, misogynistic, and every other xenophobic thing out there.

His roomate is a guy named Rahat. Who is muslim and from Nashville, Tennessee.

(interesting libertarian...)

Something about how Rahat kept being called a terrorist while he prayed and having towels thrown on his head rubbed him the wrong way.

So this roommate conflict escalates tonight when Elliot decides to go to sleep at the sensible time of 10:30pm

And starts yelling at Rahat to turn his lamp off.

It's midterm week.

So Rahat is just trying to get his shit done.

He comes and grabs myself and another guy on the hall to disprove Elliot's claim that "All Americans go to bed at 10:30"

I didn't forget to mention that Rahat is American, did I?

Anyway, myself and Teddy (other guy) said that we typically go to bed at like, 2.

But about half a minute after we leave the room we start hearing Elliot screaming like a fucking psychopath

Because apparently a lamp on the other side of the room can't be defeated by the powers of something like... covers.

Either way Rahat is going to be moving rooms soon. I kinda wish we could just boot Elliot's ass out though.

Kiiiiiiinda sick and tired of the motherfucker.

wow sounds like a capital douch ;/

Given the generally labyrinthine layout of our dorm we call him the minotaur.

... the irony of that is i just got finished reading that myth

...that's all kinds of special, right there.

he sleeps early:

you know what you must do

call up rahat and then bust in there and poop on his chest and be back in bed before midnight

the perfect crime

poop on elliot's chest, not rahat's, to clarify. the latter would just be weird

/laughing a bit too hard at this

alternatively: buy petstore crickets and release them into the room once Rahat has moved out

permutation: do both. poopy crickets

We're thinking about printing off a tooooon of gay porn and posting it around his room while he's out sometime.