I am a 'fag hag', straight girl with gay best friend I've had for years. But, he's first really serious about this guy he's dating now.

... and of course, I've been in love with him for years.

I know this is a common problem and he won't change and all that, but here's my dilemma

I have been dating this guy for a few years now, and I do love him and everything, and would like to maybe marry him one day

but I feel really guilty bc all these feelings are welling up strongly now that my bff is serious about someone.

I'm for gay marriage, but not for him. lol.

Should I go ahead and commit to someone who's obviously 2nd place in my mind, knowing I can never have the man I truly love?

I'm scared to tell my b/f my real problem b/c I'm worried he'll be jealous. Or leave me. Or something. What do I do?

that there's not just one person for everyone. There are many people out there who could possibly become "the one"

I can relate about the committing to someone who's 2nd best in at least part of your mind. It happens and you kind of have to make the best

of it.

It depends entirely upon your situation, and your relationship with your bf.

It sounds to me like you may be more in love with the idea of your gay friend because he's unattainable.

sometimes I find imagining the reality of what would happen if you did leave your "2nd best" for your gay friend helpful

it helps distinguish if it's something real or not, like what Cnd said

I mean just assuming your gay friend was bi, lol

also, and this is hard, but eventually these feelings do fade if you don't act on them. at least they always have for me.

So you need to consider whether or not you want to marry your boyfriend, completely independent of your feelings for someone else

ime it's not like literature where you will FOREVER REGRET missing out on your ONE TRUE LOVE.

yeah, your relationship with your bf should be about your relationship with your bf. there isn't anyone else in it.

he's gay. Otherwise he'd be my bi friend lol. No, he's perfect for me in every way except that he doesn't want girls.

I've been considering that difference for... more than 10 years now, I guess. We've been friends a long time.

and the relationship w/ my bf is fine. It's just that... I find myself wishing it were my gayboy all the time now. In all kinds of situation

it's not like the scenario of "if gayboy came along and asked me out i'd leave bf in a heartbeat" is realistic... cuz it wouldn't happen.

what I'm trying to get at is to figure out if those feelings are real or exaggerated because you know it won't happen

sometimes things like this feel safe so we kind of... overestimate them, I guess?

i see this as a 'dog chasing car' situation. the dog chases and chases the car, but once they have it, they dont know what to do with it.

that just downright sucks. sorry.

such a situation. I've been on both sides of it. All you can do is accept that BFF is not interested and just ignore it. It's very hard to-

ignore feelings but you have to. It'll be healthier in the long run b/c of the impossibility of the situation.

love the man you have because he isn't second place. He just showed up late to the game.

it is so very hard to find anyone we could really want to spend forever with and if you have then hold on dear. BFF won't vanish-

just because he has a love of his own. Be happy together. It's hard, but do able. Trust me. I've been you before, give or take a sexuality.