This isn't a trick question or anything.

When you're self admittedly fairly desperate for a relationship, and you meet someone you're attracted to and get on well with-

-who's into you as well. How do you know if its love, or if they're just after someone as well?

it takes time. Not necessarily a very long time.

but you don't know after a date, or even a couple of dates

To add in some background, they are on the verge of ending a semi-abusive relationship and this is the model for most of their previous ones

it hits you. It's surprising. you can't force it- and I've tried.

are you discussing romantic love, or just how do you know you care for someone that deeply?

Whether or not its actually romantic love. I'm not after "true love" or anything fantastic like that; I'll just settle for knowing I love-

-them enough not to hurt them rather than just following my genitals decision that it needs company.

if you're not in a relationship with them, give it time.

you might not be in love with them. you might not have that intimacy yet

I want to tell them I love them, but I have a near pathological inability to lie about things like that to the point of not being able-

maybe you will love them someday

-to say it unless I absolutely know its true.

tell them now "I care about you deeply"

since if you're wondering if you love them, you clearly care deeply

Thanks. That's sort of how we are at the moment

no problem

it's love if even after so many years of being with that person you don't want to spend a second away from them

you just know, theres no real way to explain it. its just something u feel sometimes its overwhelming and sometimes its subtle ull know

also thinks love is something that develops and flourishes over time, if it doesn't then it is not meant to be

agrees with both other assessments

def. think people rush into using the word "love" these days

been with my gf for 7 years now and our love has grown and changed in so many ways, it has matured and is stronger now than ever

if after years of dating that doesn't happen, then it is a warning sign

So I told her how I feel and she's gone afk slightly speechless.

my boyfriend and I said it after a month, but we both admit it was a weird case. My previous guy and I were together for much longer

you told her online?

Yes. But I have my reasons.

Bearing in mind we're not even going out yet, and the way both of us are, it would have degenerated into emotional flailing and I wouldn't-

-have actually got to say anything meaningful to her due to awkwardness.

so... Technically that means you have to date now. Or else it's not going to end well. I'm personally amazed the person didn

didn't brush it off or something. Things like that which aren't done in person are kinda hard to live up to.