Alfred
has
to say that this is nothing about MacDons anymore. >>; Rated M for smut, and f-bombs up the wazoo.
told him to stop inhaling that much junk food at once, but did Alfred listen? Nooooo.
thought it was a good idea at the time, it's not like he had the time to make a good ol' home-cooked meal. Bc
knows Alfred was just being lazy. There's -always- time for a home-cooked meal.
firmly believes that NO THERE AIN'T, TOTALLY GOT A WHOLE BUNCH OF IMPORTANT SHIT TO GET DONE.
Arthur
wonders
what this 'important shit' is. Games?
NO, THAT...AIN'T THE ONLY THING. ...Areyoujudgingme.
Arthur
is
, indeed, judging you, and is guessing that the other thing is talking to your silly alien friend.
, at least, has an actual friend and not some made-up fairy thing or ogre or whatever. BI
resents that! The fae are real, and Alfred would do well -not- to offend them like that!
openly offends the faries, flipping them off and daring them to mess with a hero. BI
Arthur
will
not be responsible if anything terrible happens to you, so you'd better not come crying...
Arthur
will
, however, come by with some medicine if you'd like.
Alfred
thinks
that depends on whether or not Arthur is bringing his imaginary friends. >n>
doesn't control them! They just follow... =3= But if Alfred doesn't want help, fine!
No, no! Help is cool, help is fine. ...Especially if the help comes in a sexy ass lab coat/nurse's uniform, what?
Arthur
is
not going to wear a nurse uniform or a lab coat for you. B|
(Unlessthereisalcoholinvolved.)
....offersalchohol. ;A;
Arthur
was
just kidding, obviously. No nurse uniform for you. That's just degrading. B|
Alfred
will
ill...put it on instead...?
would like that. Because it'd embarrass you, of course...! No other reason.
Alfred
thinks
that Artie is a party pooper, and should remove the stick from his ass before it causes damage to his large intestine. Bc AND WOULD NEVER
PUT ON A NURSE DR-- Okay, he could think of a few occasions, but NOT THIS ONE.
Arthur
wonders
what would make Alfred put it on, then! :C
Alfred
thinks
that a nice wad of cash to repay some of his national debt would do the trick, but he's not a whore, really, honest. Or maybe a shiny new
car! Or a free trip to a fastfood place of his choice. Or Assassins Creed: Brotherhood for xBox 360.
Arthur
hopes
to God that Alfred isn't a whore. HE RAISED HIM BETTER THAN THIS.
YEAH, BUT JUST REALLY WANTS THAT GAME.
Arthur
thinks
THAT IS NOT A GOOD ENOUGH EXCUSE.
Alfred
thinks
THAT IT'S...yeah, probably not a good excuse, BUT HE'LL NEVER ADMIT IT.
Arthur
will
buy the game for him if he promises to wear an outfit of Arthur's choosing.
finds his interest peaked at this offer depending on the outfit of his choosing. Yes, yes, go on. >>
Arthur
is
thinking of a maid outfit. But only because it'd be embarrassing...!
Alfred
is
.is thinking that would cost Arthur at least TWO games. =n=
WHY. WHY STUIPD ORANGE IS. ))
Arthur
will
buy the game and a burger? ;3;
....I want the full meal. =A= Ornodeal.
Arthur
will
agree only if Alfred promises to wear it all day long.
withnounderwear.
ALLDAY, HE DOESN'T HAVE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE RIGHT?
Arthur
needs
to be in the house with him, though. <3
=x= ...You drive a hard bargain, Kirkland.
Take it or leave it, love.
..........Okayfinebuthegetstowearunderwear,thanksverymuch.
...nope. none of that.
GODYOURSOSTUPID. BUTIREALLYWANT. GAME.
Arthur
will
give you one minute to decide.
....Fine. Stupid. Megabrows...Mc...Mc...stupid.
....Pants...
...Dafty.
...right. I knew you'd see it my way. <3
BI
I GET THE GAME FIRST.
No, you get into the dress first.
So I can play it while I suffer--WHAAAT.
...Stupid.
I ain't buyin' a maid dress. BI That's totally unmanly.
Arthur
has
one for you.
...because... France gave it... a long time ago...
isn't sure if he even wants to know the story behind that. :I
doesn't want to tell it, anyway. AND IS COMIN' OVER WITH THE ITEMS NOW.
Ohgod,fml. Does some of the most manly manliest things he can think of before Arthur gets there, like...fixing a car and playing xBox and
doing a superawesome workout and then basks in his own sweat and then takes a shower cause he feels disgusting and then finds himself back
at square one.
knocks on the door. <3
...groans and slowly drags his ass off the couch--OH GOD BEST BUY BAG. Grabs the gift happily, tearing into it. "AGH! FINALLY, I'M SO
EFFING EXCITED--" Notes the other bag, and instantly becomes less excited and more...WowIreallycan'tfuckingbelieveI'mgonnadothisshit.
Yeah. More like that.
closes the door behind him, and hands Alfred the Other Bag. "You'd best change into it before you even think about playing, Alfred."
[ And inside: p.lefux.com/61/20100927/... <3 ]
(( DOES FROM LAUGHTER, OMFG MY ALMUSE SHOOTS HIMSELF IN THE FOOT. ))
....DIES. NOT DOES. GodIsuck. ))
[ dsnfs LOOOOOOOL ]
quickly snatches the bag up, rummaging around in it until he pulls out the means of torture. Instantly, his face became the shade of a fire
truck and he stuffed it back from whenst it came. "--THIS AIN'T A MAID OUTFIT, THIS IS A SWIMMING SUIT, A REALLY REALLY TINY SWIMMING
SUIT."
scoffs. "Of course it's a maid outfit, you idiot; can't you see the little apron? Now hurry up and change, or else I'll have to return the
game and throw the food away. Remember, no undergarments."
kind of wanted to sink through a hole in his floor and never come out again. With his game. Yes, definitely, his game would come with--
and probably the xBox, too, cause a game without an xBox was pretty useless. Anyway, yeah, he wanted to disappear. "YEAH, I CAN BARELY SEE
THE APRON. It's like the size of a figgen kleenex! ...." But fuck. It was useless. He already had the game in his hands, already smelled
the food. With a furious glare, he spun on his heels and headed to the bedroom to change. Maybe he could take four hours to change or
something. |D Yeeeah. Good plan.
Arthur
will
wait by the telly and the X-Box, then. ...And eats a fry, while he waits.
, in some distant and isolated plane, heard the soft crunch of a McDonald's french fry being gently assaulted (Haha, get it?) by teeth that
were not his own. So. He didn't think he could wait four hours. It was a daunting task getting into that skimpy maid outfit, but it
didn't take all that much time to shimmy his long limbs into the correct (maybe) slots. What took him the longest while was being caught by
his reflection in the mirror. Dear. Fucking God. Granted, it was rather slimming, made his legs look nice, and offered a nice breeze,
deaer. Fucking. God. What was he thinking. WHAT. Was he think-- Yum, he smelled BigMac. NO. No. This wasn't worth it. ...Maybe. GOD
HE DIDN'T KNOW. ;A; So. He just kinda...stood there. In front of the mirror in horror, for at least ten minutes.
Arthur
was
getting rather impatient! With a huff, he took the McDonalds bag and headed to Alfred's room, waiting outside the door. "If you don't come
out relatively soon, Alfred, I'll be forced to throw the food away." ...Which wouldn't be really a waste of food, since it -was- McDonalds,
but it would be a waste of money! And effort.
shifted uncomfortably on bare feet by the doorway, willing the redness from his face-- which, unfortunately, was easier said than done. He
groaned in the back of his throat. "NO, DON'T! I'll come out, I'll come out, okay? J...Just. Er. D-Don't laugh!"
stepped away from the door, standing in front of it rather expectantly. "I won't laugh," he promised. "So come out already, will you? You're
taking too long, and it's rude to make a guest wait."
didn't know how much he trusted the Englishman to keep his word. What if he had a camera? What if he had a webcam! WHAT IF HE WAS LIVE
STREAMING THIS TO THE ENTIRE EASTERN SEABOAR--NO, THE WORLD. Wow, that was a little paranoid. But still. It could happen. "...O-Okay,
okay... Here I go... Opening the...door." Confidence. Think. Confidence. ...In a maid dress. The American hesitantly turned the
handle on the door, the blush he fought so hard to wipe away quickly dusting his cheeks again as he felt those emerald eyes on him. He
pulled at the skirt...apron...thing, feeling he'd rather not flash the Brit his junk. >///>;
nearly dropped the McDonalds bag, but thankfully didn't. He looked Alfred over, eyes slowly tracing over every detail with a low, approving
hum. "...You don't fill it out as well as a woman would, but... you don't look half bad, I suppose..." he said, handing Alfred the food.
refused to admit that his cheeks were slightly red too. And... it really wasn't like he was waiting for Alfred to turn around or anything.
(( OOPS DROPPED THE BAG, LOLCLUMSY ME. -Shotsohard.- ))
[ dsnfdsf LOOL Not that Arthur would enjoy that or anything gosh ]
kept one, slightly quivering hand at the hem of his skirt, patroling the area carefully to ensure nothing crept up...or down. He tore his
gaze from the Brit, snatching the food with his free hand. "Well gee, wonder why, could be my lack of boobs or hips." He shifted beneath
the male's stare before carefully sliding towards the couch to si-- Ooor he would stand. Yep. The American tried to pretend he wasn't
flushing a deep shade of scarlet, and that he didn't feel totally uncomfortable, and that he was occupied with T.V. watching as he chewed on
a few fries. ...He liked to pretend. Yeah. Cause he wouldn't let England's attempt at embarassment get him down, no sir.
sat on the couch, watching Alfred still. This was all to embarrass the git, of course. It really had nothing to see his legs or his ass.
Not that Alfred didn't have a nice ass, but-- obviously, it wasn't something that he wanted to see...! "You're not going to sit down?"
shifted, finding a rather ingenius (if he did say so himself) method of keeping his skirt down with one hand, holding the McDonald's bag in
the other, and removing french fries one at a time from their container by way of his teeth. "Oh. Yeah, cause I love the feeling of
leather on my ass." He paused in mid-bite. "---Leather sofa... Cause. The sofa is...leather..." JAKLJGAL;FDJ THINK THAN SPEAK,
GODDAMMIT.
reddened immediately at the mental image that came to mind, and tried (in vain) to chase it away. "...I didn't... I mean, I wasn't aware
that you were into that... sort of thing," he replied, clearing his throat and looking away. Ahh, bad thoughts, bad thoughts...
sputtered, choking on the french fry that he had just pulled into his mouth. "NO! No! That was sarcasm! I-- It's--er-- The...The thing
Alfred
is
...the skirt, I mean, it's short, and if I sit down. It... Me... On the leather SOFA. Cause...that's where...you...sit." ...That was an
English statment, wasn't it? He pretended not to notice the blush on the Brit's cheeks, blowing it off as the hot weather. Not that he
looked for very long. He had trouble keeping eyecontact with the male in a dress.
"...Y-Yes, well... that's what sofas are for..." His eyes went back to Alfred, taking in the man's lovely tan skin and tightening his hands
into fists to keep himself from reaching out. That would... hardly be inappropriate, and-- really, he wasn't going to molest Alfred! (Not
physically, anyway. Visually was another matter.) And it wasn't his fault that the dress was a little small on the lad. Or skimpy.
couldn't be certain, but he was pretty confident that Britain was raping him with his eyes-- he hadn't glanced at Arthur enough to make a
definitive judgement call. Yeah. Seats. Sitting. Fuck, he wanted to sit down. But next to Arthur? Would that be weird? He couldn't
really see the television screen from the other seats. And besides, he could find a way to sit down without showing any more
skin than necessary. Yeah. He was pretty confident. A few internal pep-talks later and Alfred placed his McDonald's bag on the table,
deciding he needed two hands for this task. He placed both of them on the hem of the skirt and slowly...carefully kinda...half slid into
the seat, keeping his back straight and moving his thighs apart as little as possible.
tried to keep his eyes on the screen, he really, really did. But that was too difficult of a task, even for a gentleman like himself, so he
found his eyes trailing down from Alfred's chest, down to his abdomen, to his hips, and to his legs. Ah, fuck. Did Alfred have to sit so
close? He was teasing, that bloody wanker! Nevertheless, he kept still, back ramrod straight and rather stiff as his eyes continued to take
in the sight of the American in a very, very short maid dress.
found it increasinly difficult to keep his eyes locked to the screen as well, and even more cumbersome was the task of eating his
food. ...Woah. He was having problems eating Mac Dons? That was practically unheard of, execpt for that time with the stomach flu and the
chicken nuggets and... Anyway, he worried his bottom lip between his teeth gently as his gaze drifted to the Brit at his side-- of whom was
still. Starring. Jesus Christ, Alfred didn't know what to think at this point. Was he really doing this to embarass him out of his
wits? Or did he have alterior motives... Most people would have realized by now that yes, he did, but Alfred was clueless. Or at least he
made himself that way.
immediately looked away when he caught Alfred's eyes on him, and cleared his throat. "W-Well? I thought you were going to play your game,
not stare...!" he huffed, rather embarrassed to have been caught.
could only offer a snippy response to that snippy comment, quickly tearing his eyes from the male as well. "Yeah I'm gonna play my effing
game, I kinda have to eat first, why are you rushing me, and besides, it took me WAY to long to sit down so I'll take my damn time, thanks
very much." He snorted softly.
huffed, crossing his arms. "Yes, well... it's not fault of mine you refused to sit because the sofa was leather...!" ...Welp, there came the
bad image again. Bad mind. Bad.
huffed and lifted his chin, bottom lip protruding in sort of a half-pout, half-frown. "Sure as hell is your fault! You coulda let me
wear boxers! Or you coulda sprung for a longer skirt! Or you coulda looked away real fast when I sat down so I didn't have to worry about
flashing you! Totally your fault."
Oh. Right, Alfred wasn't wearing any boxers. This... was all. If he shifted a bit - just a bit!... no! He wasn't going to think this! A
gentleman didn't let such debauchery fill his mind...! (...But damn, all that skin...) "...Y... Yes, well... You're the one who agreed
to do this in the first place, so don't complain...!"
felt his cheeks glow. Again, God fuck it. A frown furrowed his blond eyebrows. "I'll complain as much as I wanna complain, an' whattya
keep looking at my legs for! I know I look stupid, okay?! Ya don't hafta keep reminding me by starring!"
"You don't look stupid!" he said, before really thinking through it. Wow, he must've been spending too much time around Alfred, because
he rarely spoke before thinking. "I... I mean, you... look ridiculous, obviously, but..." he shifted his gaze, embarrassed. "It's not...
terrible... I suppose... I mean, for what it is!"
blinked, searching the man's expression before, in his Alfredy way of doing things, leaned closer and narrowed his eyes, attempting to gage
the meaning behind his words. "What're you talking about, it ain't terrible, Artie, if you've got something to say than just say it instead
of starring at me like you either wanna laugh er...." Attack him like a fat kid on cake? No, that was probably a little too forward.
turned a bright red, and refused to look at Alfred any further. "I-I don't have anything to say, idiot!" he scowled, leaning away. Didn't
the idiot at least know when -not- to get so damn close?! "Just... Just go back to eating your food, already...!"
saw the blush flare across his cheeks faster than wildfire, noticed the way he tore his gaze from him, immediately changing the topic yet
again. Now he was interested. Now he wasn't going to let it go. "Well, ya obviously do, dude! Your face is as a tomato and you won't
even LOOK at me when I'm lookin' back, so what do you need to say!"
wished Alfred would let it go. He wished very, very hard. "Since when was anything ever obvious to you, wanker?! Will you just-- just go
back to eating?! The food's going to get cold and I don't want to hear you complain about it later!"
snorted, leaning nearer again, brow twitching as the frustration built. "So you just gonna insult me until I get pissy and go stuff my
face?! No. I wanna hear it, what's gotten into you lately, why've you been acting so weird!" Arthur was stubborn, but Alfred was too.
leaned away as much as he could, and did his best to glare at Alfred without looking down at the rest of him. "I... I haven't been acting
weird, you idiot! And get -away-; sit properly when you're in that thing, at least! It's inappropriate!"
snarled, a frustrated flush burning at his cheeks the longer the Englishman's refusal drew out. "Have so! You've been like, avoiding eye
contact the whole time you've been here, cause you've been too busy feeling me up with your eyes--!" Alfred paused, his lips apparently
putting two and two together for him without the consultation of his mind. Blue hues narrowed. "...You like me. Don't you."
immediately looked back up at Alfred's face, eyes wide. "I... n... no, of course not!" Arthur replied almost immediately, finally shoving
Alfred away and standing up. "Don't flatter yourself like that! As if I'd like you...!" He could feel his heart pounding viciously in his
chest as he immediately went for the door. "In any case, I'm done here! You've humiliated yourself enough, and I've... other things to do!"
had hit the tender spot, kicked him where it hurt, finally, after all that shouting, uncovered what was truly bothering the man. Arthur
liked him. He knew it. Maybe he had all along, maybe he'd just been too nervous or unwilling to admit it. Quickly, the young nation
stood, finding his current outfit a little strange for such a dramatic conversation. "Why the fuck do you always run away!"
paused at the door, hand just barely touching the doorknob. "...I'm not. It's called a strategic retreat." He turned the doorknob and opened
the door. "You know it, don't you? Pulling back before you get irreversibly hurt."
found his limbs vibrating with adrenaline, found his mind racing as he watched the Englishman walking out the door, walking away from him
yet again. His jaw trembled and he sunk his teeth into his bottom lip before speaking again. "And what if what your retreating from ain't
aiming to injure you! What if what you're running from is getting a nice punch in the gut every time you do!" ...Yikes, this was more of a
conversation than he'd ever thought he'd have in a maid dress.
hesitated, then shook his head before turning around. "Fine. Do you want me to clarify? I will. I like you, but I shouldn't. And it hurts,
realizing that, because I'm the idiot that just can't let go of anything. I'm the idiot that always fights with you and does all these
moronic things, just to get your attention on me for one bloody minute. Alright? Was that clear enough for you?"
felt his jaw slacken, all of the anger and frustraiton slowly dissolving from his expression, his muscles. Shoulders relaxed. Baby blues
searched the face of the Englishman. Shit. Why. Why did he have to say that, why did he have to drag all these thoughts and feelings into
the Yankee's head for them to grow and flourish until beat against his skull and tongue. Why'd he have to say that it was his own
fault...? It took him a moment to remember he was still standing there in the present, where all of this silence between them after such a
confession simmered angrily, begging to be soothed. "I... Er... You've...got it. My attention, you've got it." He wanted him to
vent. Alfred wanted him to spill it, spill it all. Because it was scary not knowing.
just shook his head after that, though, "I don't want it anymore. I'm really the last person to seek your pity, Alfred," he replied, trying
his best to keep his tone steady. He just needed to take deep, calming breaths. It'd be okay. "You can... get out of that ridiculous dress,
now. I just... I suppose this was a terrible idea. But, as a gentleman, I will thank you for amusing me, even if it was for a few minutes."
Arthur turned quickly to leave, not trusting his composure to last much longer. He could honestly deal with many things, but rejection
wasn't all too high on his list.
found his attention, yet again, directed to the fact that he was in a dress and he grabbed the nearest blanket, wrapping it around his
shoulders as he continued watching the Englishman. The boy's heart thudded hollowly against his ribs at such a statement. He didn't...want
his attention? Didn't want his company? Why else would he always run-- even as Alfred called him back. His grip around the blanket
tightened until his knuckles became a pasty white. He felt like such a sap. Such a fucking wuss standing there and feeling all these
things at the sight of Arthur turning to leave again. He hated the mist that hovered over his vision. He hated it. "...Arthur..."
"I don't hate you though, Alfred," he assured. "And I don't expect anything in return, especially if it's out of pity or because you're a
self-proclaimed hero. It's fine, alright? I suppose I really am getting a little too old for this." He chuckled, though it was a strained,
bitter sound. "In any case, I'll see you along, lad. Cheerio."
had meant to laugh. Really, he had. To offer the same kind of chuckle. But when he opened his mouth, nothing came through but a quiet
sob. The blond sank into his couch, no longer willing to stand, quickly wiping at his face and eyes, shoving those fucking tears back into
his skull. The blanket made a good cover. "You're so...stupid..."
should've left as soon as he big Alfred goodbye, but he couldn't. His feet were cemented to the floor as soon as he heard that sob, and
like he did so many years ago, he felt the urge to turn right around and hold Alfred until he stopped. But Alfred wasn't a child anymore,
so that was completely out of the question. So instead, he just sighed, letting go of the doorknob. "...Yes, I know," he replied. "A shame,
because I've honestly held myself in higher regards."
shivered, sniffled, desperately tried to chase the sting of tears from his eyes. He was turning into a real chick. How could he do this in
front of someone-- especially Britian. What was he thinking? There went all the respect he'd worked so hard to obtain. But he couldn't
help it. He couldn't stop them. He was just so. Fucking. Sick of it. "Shut...up! I d-don't need your...fucking sarcasm
right...now..." The harder he fought, the harder they pressed until rain finally fell from those sky blue hues. "Did it...ever even
fucking occur to you...that you weren't the only one with feelings? You call me selfish! You call me an idiot! And here you are,
ignoring every single f-fucking line I cast your way! Why do you think I wanted you to stay the night? Why do you th-think I agreed to
this? It wasn't-- You're not--" He wanted to shut himself up, really. He wanted to stop pouring himself out, spilling his guts to a man
who was just going to leave again.
hated... admittedly, a good amount of things, but one of things that he couldn't stand was hope. It wasn't success, or even assurance; it
Arthur
was
a flimsy little wish that made him think things would work out, only to throw a load of disappointment right at his face when they
didn't. So now, hearing something like -that- out of Alfred... well, it gave him hope. And he hated it. Because he couldn't tell if the man
Arthur
was
being completely serious and honest, or if he was just doing this out of pity. They -had- worked hard to get to at least this level of
friendship after the Revolution, after all. It'd simply be a waste to have it all gone, just because he'd been stupid enough to open his
mouth. Regardless, he found himself turning around and walking right back into the living room to wrap his arms around Alfred, holding him
tightly. He didn't say anything - what could he say, really? -, and instead just continued to hold the other. One problem at a time. And,
like always, solving it would come after those blue eyes were dry.
Alfred
thinks
(( ...that this rp is making him all squishy and jello-like, ohgodwhy. ;A; ))
[ ...teee cutie ]
Alfred
was
, admittedly, surprised when he felt the Englishman return to his side-- not to mention maybe, perhaps, a little bit utterly relieved. He
honestly didn't know what he'd have done had the male walked out. What could he have done, when he'd already laid it all out on the
table? Feeling the heat of the arms hugging him more tightly than that blanket ever could brought his tears, steadily, to a hault. Force
of habit, maybe. "...I don't...need your pity, either...", he replied half-heartedly after his breathing had stabilized to a less-eratic
pace. That being said, his body remained pressed snugly against the Brit's, head rested in the crevice of his neck.
smiled just slightly as he stroked Alfred's hair, trying to soothe him. "...I'd rather not expend the energy to pity you." Especially
because that energy was being used to pity and ridicule himself. "Idiot. You don't have to always cry to get my attention; you never did."
Alfred could really just whisper his name, and even if Arthur really, really didn't want to, the idiot had his full attention.
felt a light blush dust across his cheeks at the statement, and he shifted in the Englishman's arms-- almost as if he had considered
withdrawing, but thought better of it. No. Arthur was finally staying put. The American could put up with a blow to his pride...this one
time. One. Time. "I don't always cry, and I wasn't crying to get your attention, I was crying cause you pissed me off and you were gonna
leave and I kinda freaked a little and... I... Shove it. It was embarassing enough wearing a dress, and then I went and friggen bawled and
now I just look stupid..."
tightened his hold just minutely when Alfred shifted, not quite willing to let him go. "...You never listen to me when I -do- call you
stupid, so it's rather upsetting to hear that you think you look ridiculous when you really don't. And I..." he paused, hesitant, "I just...
didn't want to get rejected, or accepted out of pity, or whatever else you can think of. I know you can put up a convincing act when you
put your mind to it."
couldn't exactly disagree with him; he did indeed have a talent with putting on a show. Manipulating was such a nasty word. The American
Alfred
was
simply persuasive. Very persuasive. He was silent for a moment or two. "...I ain't gonna lie to you, Arthur, and say that I don't feel
guilty at all. Cause I do. ...But that ain't the reason I'm 'accepting' you-- er, whatever, not even close. And I'm not rejecting
you. So now that it looks like I settled that, we can talk about what's gonna happen now."
hesitated for a brief moment, before finally letting Alfred go. "...You could start with looking me in the eye and really telling me how
you feel. I won't be upset if you can't say anything, but I will be if you lie."
felt as the arms shifted, sliding away. He almost wanted to call them back, but figured that might be weird, so he allowed them to go and
sat up straighter as they did. ...How he felt? Oh boy, this'd be good. Alfred was awesome at a lot of things. Words, when it came to
stuff like this, were not one of them. He shifted beneath the elder's stare until blue hues finally drifted to emerald. "It's... It's
kinda like...fireworks."
raised an eyebrow, not quite sure what that even meant, or how he ought to take that. "...Short-lived?" he asked, keeping a steady tone.
"I'm not quite sure I follow..."
shook his head quickly. "N-No! No, not short lived. ...Kinda like... ...Like watching fireworks, ya know? You sorta hold your breath as
it shoots into the air, and when it finally shows it's colors, you can't help but stare as the colors rain down. Cause it's..." He tried
to think of an adjective that the Brit wouldn't take offense to. "...It's beautiful, and wonderful, and man, when it's done and you're
left in the dark, all you can do there is sit and wait for that same feeling, the butterflies in your stomach, the...light. It's kinda
like...kinda like your smile." Ohgod, he sounded so ridiculous, what was he thinking. Regardless,
he couldn't stop himself at that. Ya can only hope to catch a glimpse of that color before it disappears again." He looked away, a bright
pink on his cheeks as they fell into silence.
reddened slightly, most certainly very, very pleased to hear that. It was unexpected though, and for a few moments, he simply didn't know
what to say. Or rather... what -could- he say? It was flattering, and... more than he'd expected and even wished for. "A-Ah... I see...
That's..." Many things; he couldn't even start to choose one word to describe it. "...Good enough." Alright, so that... wasn't exactly
what he'd been looking for. At all. But it'd already left his mouth, so... "...Thank you, Alfred. Really."
felt his cheeks burning at about the same temperature as blacktop in July, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth at the Brit's
response. What did that mean? Did he weird him out? Fuck. Again with the mouth moving and the not thinking. He felt his heart quicken
and his stomach clench, but he kept his expression untelling of such. "...You're...er...welcome." Deep breath. Just take a deep
breath. Brows creased, and yet again, he asked the question on his mind. "...And...what uh... What about me...?"
looked away, embarrassed. He considered himself to be a rather eloquent fellow, but... that was on paper. And especially not when he was
speaking to the object of his affections. Hesitantly, he replied, "W-Well, ah... I have no comparisons, I'm afraid, but... I've come to
realize that you're rather... important to me. I mean... you always were, of course, but it's... been in a different way for a while. I know
I offend you often, and call you stupid and whatnot, but that's... I don't... really mean it. Of course, you do have the occasional
harebrained idea, but... what's most important is that you always have good intentions. And... it's refreshing. You are, I mean. Even
after all we've been through-- all I've done, really, you still smile at me and call me your ally, so that's... it... makes me happy..."
found himself starring at the Brit unblinkingly-- like he truly was a firework. There it went. His stomach fluttering, his chest
constricting until he was quite certain the breath would be chased from it. So many things, so many wonderful things slipped from the man's
lips at that moment that the blond scarsely knew what to do with them all. He ran his tongue along his bottom lip in thought, gaze drifting
downward for a moment before flickering back to those emerald eyes. So, now what? All of these emotions flew around in the boy's head and
guts, all of these words he could say not enough to convey them correctly. In a make or break moment, before his mind could catch up with
him, he leaned forward and carefully, gently, slowly brushed his lips against the other's.
blinked, his eyes slowly widening as soon as he realized that Alfred was actually kissing him. It was... simple, really, just a light little
thing, but it made him happier than he'd been in... well, quite a while. He felt himself smile a little against Alfred's lips and return the
kiss, gently drawing the other closer.
Alfred
was
gonna be honest, he was a little bit delirious at that point-- confessions flying, emotions bashing against his cranium. It was strange how
he felt so attached, and also, so very distant from it all. This time, there really weren't any thoughts to get in the way. He pressed
onward, head tilted, lips moving slowly against the other's. He must have been radiating heat like mad, how Arthur remained that close was
a mystery, really.
relished the feel of Alfred's lips against his, and hoped to God that the lad couldn't hear just how harshly his heart was pounding. He
drew back slowly, carefully, and opened his eyes, cheeks just slightly red but overall looking very, very happy. "...What, no comment like
'you smell like British food' this time?"
wasn't, truthfully, all that inclined to release the Englishman's lips. Why couldn't they keep it up? Why not just...forget about the
whole talking thing, it was hard and got too complicated anyway. But, America didn't wanna seem like he was THAT head-over-heels-totally-
and-completley-flushed-and-addicted-after-that-one-kiss. So. He pulled back, and laughed. Laughter was the best way to chase away
uneasiness, so he found. "...Nah, this time around I can change it up a little and say that you taste like British food instead."
Wowzers. What a kiss.
chuckled, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. Typical American idiot - /his/ American idiot now, he supposed. "Well, you'd best get used
to the taste, then," he replied, pecking Alfred's lips again, short and light.
snickered softly, eyes fluttering to a momentary close as he felt the soft skin of Arthur's lips against his own-- if only for a moment. In
an effort to make himself a little less cheesy and mushy and soft, Alfred flashed the male the brightest Hollywood smile he could and
winked. "Hahaha, and I hope you like the taste of freedom, cause you can bet you'll be gettin' more than your daily dose." There we go, he
could feel the testosterone working agian.
reddened slightly, but he assured himself that it was just because Alfred was being embarrassing. It had nothing to do with his smile. Nope.
...Alright, so that was a lie. Alfred had a lovely smile, and he always found himself being charmed by it. "Then enough talking, and more
tasting," he murmured, drawing Alfred in for another kiss, this time much longer than the last.
Man oh man, Alfred really didn't have an objection to that; however, he couldn't help but be a little caught off guard by the Englishman's
directness (not that he was complaining about that, either). It just seemed so...unlike the man he had thought he'd known. Then again,
they say attraction does that to people. He willingly went in for seconds, fluidly moving his lips against the others in a clumsy, but
affectionate, kiss. Eyes closed tightly, and he curled his fingers into the Brit's messy blond locks, keeping him there. Pecks were
good. This was better. He wondered what other surprises Arthur had in store.
hummed lowly, tilting his head a bit before he lightly nipped Alfred's lower lip. His own arms wound around the American's waist, keeping
him still and close as they kissed. Alfred was definitely a little clumsier than the people he was used to kissing, but... this was nice. It
Arthur
was
different in a way that had his heart melting with affection, and he couldn't find it in himself to be displeased.
decided that it was probably for the best he was held in one place, lest he began rocketing off the walls-- this was just a bad idea given
his current clothing situation. His breath hitched softly at the gentle nip, making his mouth tingle and beg for more. He impatiently
surged forward, lips parting as vibrant color sprang into his cheeks.
slipped his tongue past Alfred's lips, eager to taste him. He curled his tongue around the other's, offering light, intermittent and teasing
sucks before pressing himself closer, steadily growing addicted to the taste and feel of Alfred - even if there was a strong hint of
McDonalds in there.
knew he liked it... ;3; ))
[ N-NO ;3; ]
hummed happily when his request was delivered, digits tightening their grip in that fly-away, soft hair. Brows creased in concentration as
he fought the shakes from his limbs. Christ, he felt more wired than that time he drank a tweleve pack of monster and twice as good. He
slid forward until he could feel the heat coming off the man's body, lifting his free hand so that he could trail his fingers over every
muscle of Arthur's chest, feeling his heart beat beneath his touch. It was amazing. It was incredible. It was...totally...and completley
addicting.
...Yeeees. >3> ))
[ No! =3= ]
stepped closer, gently pushing Alfred more fully down on the couch. "Mm..." He drew back, but it was only for a brief moment to breathe. He
Arthur
was
quick to return, of course, taking in as much of Alfred as he could while given the opportunity. Actually kissing Alfred was a lot better
than imagining it, so he was eager to bask in the feeling for as long as possible.
pushed back for several moments, as directed by his manly-man complex and insanely high hormone levels at that moment, fully aiming to press
the Englishman into the sofa and go to town. But something stopped him. Something allowed him to relax as his back hit the sofa, and wind
his arms around the male's neck, so tightly, keeping him near. That something was the realization that he really didn't give a fuck about
where he was in relation to Arthur, so long as their mouths were connected and warmth intermingling. Maybe he even...liked it...maybe...a
lot...maybe... He parted his lips wider, tongue sliding against, tangling with the other's, his heart surely about to spring right out of
his chest. "Hnnn--"
...Alsoyes. =A= ))
swallowed that sound right up, the age -old embers of possessiveness crawling right back up to pin Alfred against the couch. He slid his
tongue around Alfred's, teasing, before drawing his lips back, only to kiss the corner of the man's lips and trail lighter kisses to his
throat. He licked Alfred's skin, warm and smooth, before parting his lips to suck on it, occasionally grazing his teeth by the flesh.
didn't really recall his neck being all that sensitive, nor did he remember being all that vocal. ...Okay, that was a lie, he was always
vocal, but that was beyond the point. Regardless, a broken gasp expanded his chest, eyes snapping closed and mind buzzing in a warm
haze. Like, woah, why were necks sensitive, anyway. "Sh-Shit, Arite..." That was American speak for holy mother of God that feels
so amazing I can't think of anything but to swear right now.
chuckled against the slowly reddening skin, and trailed his fingers up Alfred's sides. The maid outfit really left very little to the
imagination, with all these holes everywhere, allowing the Englishman to slip his hand under the thin black fabric to feel the taut muscles
of Alfred's chest. His tongue soothed the mark, though if the small smirk on his lips was any indication, he was quite proud of how
visible it was. "Hmm?"
felt his skin tingle and heat up beneath the Englishman's touch, not realizing how tightly his knees were shoved together until the nipping
and sucking and kissing became the soft caress of Arthur's slick tongue. This was totally some plan of his all along. Alfred knew it. Get
him in a dress, have some sort of dramatic resolution, and then make out. Okay, so he didn't know it. But it...yeah, it actually made very
little sense. Blue hues, glassy with desire, flickered open to lock with emerald for the first time since this session. He flushed more
darkly. "H-Hmmm? What's hmm? ...I-I ain't gonna try and explain a hickie to the folks down at the White House if you left o-one..." His
speech was different. Less amplified, perhaps. Some would say less obnxious, as though he was speaking just to speak, forming the
sentences and phrases as his mind wandered to more important things-- like when Arthur was gonna kiss him again, or when Arthur was gonna
attack his neck, or when Arthur was gonna do something else to the same effect.
smiled a little against Alfred's throat, kissing the mark before moving elsewhere. "What if I leave two?" he murmured, his touch light and
teasing as he led his fingers to caress Alfred's chest. He kissed up Alfred's jaw and to his throat, licking up the shell of his ear before
nipping it lightly. "Or three, or four?" he continued, his breath hot against Alfred's ear. "Don't fault me for wanting to boast a little."
felt his body go ridged, a shudder rattling his bones. Those words, those lips, that tongue, that hot breath dancing against his skin was
driving him up the wall, molten lust churning in his stomach. He forced the corners of his lips into a quivering frown, eyes shut
tightly. "A-And don't fault me for wanting to look like a professional in front of the boss-man..." Ah, fuck it, he didn't know, he was
just talking to talk at that point. It felt...strange to be so effected by an individual. Talking, snapping back a light-hearted argument
seemed to take some of the pressure off-- more than just the rolling heat wave in Florida, although it helped a lot with that as well.
just chuckled, nibbling lightly on Alfred's ear before trailing his lips down again. He chose a different spot, terribly close to Alfred's
pulse point, and began sucking on that area, feeling that desire to mark and claim, to take and boast. Alfred was his, now - his to kiss,
his to touch, his to feel. No one else's. And that thought excited him. His fingers teasingly flicked Alfred's nipples just as his teeth
grazed by his skin, and he couldn't help but hum lowly in slight amusement at how easy it was to excite Alfred.
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck...", he mumbled nonsensically through quivering lips, deciding he'd be much less embarassed to curse repeatedly
than allow that groan tugging at his vocal cords passage. Unfortunately, this decision was made prior to the stimulation of one-- or two,
really-- particular...spots he had before then thought only aided in the seduction of women. Not that he didn't know it could be...nice for
men! He just. Didn't have a lot of... It... It just felt nice, okay? "Nnnh--!" His body jolted softly, cheeks flaring as
Arthur laughed. "Sh-Shut up, the hell's so funny!"
moved to kiss Alfred's collarbone before pulling his lips back, allowing him to gaze down at Alfred with clarity. "Just a few silly things,"
he replied, gently pinching Alfred's nipples. He shifted a bit, moving to press his knee gently between Alfred's legs. "Like how it seems
I'll need to give you some time alone to deal with some... private matters. Because surely," he smirked, "You don't expect a gentleman
to do it for you."
growled as he felt the male's lips withdraw from his skin, shifting beneath his stare when it once again dawned on him how little clothing
he was actually wearing. The American opened his mouth to protest, but instead found himself responding with another jolt and a
close-mouthed whine at the knee so gently...so enticingly...so cruely placed between his legs. "Sh-Shove it! It ain't funny, are you
t...trying to call me easy or something cause that isn't even--! ....I expect a gentleman to finish what he started." Bx
hummed, absolutely delighting in that little whine. "I'm not saying that you're easy; just that you're rather... quickly excited. Though, I
do suppose you have a point. How should I finish this, then?" he asked, leaning in close to Alfred's lips, smirking. He pressed his knee
a little closer, just barely beginning to grind it against Alfred's crotch. "My hand? Or perhaps my mouth?"
wasn't certain, but he was rather confident that at some point during the day he had been wacked over the face with a blunt object, and this
Alfred
was
now some coma-induced delusion. His mind searched for a response to such a delicious offer, baby blues wide and jaw finding a difficult
time in remaining latched where it should be. In the end, he settled on an initial response of, "---Uh." Any shade before the one on his
cheeks utterly pale in comparison. "...Y-Yes. That. All...that." There we go, that was the one he was looking for.
chuckled, moving his knee and replacing it with one of his hands. He palms Alfred's crotch through the dress, firm and smooth. "You always
were rather greedy, you know. Never able to choose just one..."
The breathy, breif exhales that now slid through parted lips could not be helped, fingers absently stroking the Brit's hair, tracing
meaningless patterns against the back of his neck. Chin lifted slightly. "And you've...never hesitated...to give me each one I...ask for."
kissed along Alfred's jaw again, hand slipping underneath the skirt to grasp the other's length directly. "Mm... I've always spoiled you,"
he murmured, gently nipping at the area just behind Alfred's ear as he began to pump his hand up and down, slow and teasing. "That's a
particular habit I simply must get rid of."
moaned, his mind instantly buzzing with that delicious warmth again. Hips needily shifted forward to meet the Englishman's hand, so smooth,
so talent in its movements, so...frustratingly slow. The flesh of his neck and lips prickled, happy to get a little more attention, and he
hummed impatiently. It wasn't enough pressure, not enough friction, not enough of the man's body against his own. The soft touches were
gonna drive him crazy. Completley...fucking crazy. So crazy that he didn't even have a wordered response to Arthur's chidding. ...Well,
it was kinda worded. If one could salvage meaning out of nonsensical mumblings.
moved his hand just a little faster, stroking Alfred at a steady pace. He moved to settle between Alfred's legs, licking his lips a bit as
he drew the skirt up with his free hand. Leaning forward, he limited his hand's movements to the lower portion of Alfred's length, and
casually licked around the tip of the other's arousal.
ajfla;jfla;fja;ajga godfuckingdammit, has to go, WTS IS THIS 'TIME' AND WHY WAS IT CREAED. BI ... ))
You know why? I'll tell you why. The universe thinks it's funny to send Alfred to bed in the middle of a bj. Thank you, universe. ))
[ LOOL IT'S OKAY <3 GO GO ]
>////>; ...Expect a reply tomorrow. Expect eeeet. .... -Does one more thing before leaving though.- ))
[ Fff will do <33 ]
...OkaynowIcango.))
BYYYEEEEE. ))
[ LMAO xDD BYEE ]
Alfred
was
pretty certain at that point that he was hallucinating-- at least, it felt like it by then. His head spun dizzyingly as baby blues, glazed
over with lust, cast down to behold the delicious sight of Arthur's lips against his arousal. Sweetfuckinglord, if that wasn't the most
amazing picture in the world-- A quivering moan escaped his lips before he could hold his head up no more, and he laid flat against the
couch again. "G-God...Arthur..." Fingers toyed with those light blond locks.
merely hummed in response, taking the head of Alfred's cock into his mouth and suckling gently. His tongue teasingly kneaded against the
slit as his hand continued to pump up and down the remainder of Alfred's length. "Mm..."
felt his skin burn brightly, knees and chest and cheeks and lips flushing with color. Lips remained parted. Breath continued to come at a
faster pace. He lifted a hand to his mouth, practically sinking his teeth into the back of it to prevent some incredibly not manly or
heroic sounds from escaping. Body rose and fell with each breath. He could feel it. He was so...so close to the edge.
began bobbing his head, drawing his hand back to rest on Alfred's thighs as he took in more and more of Alfred's length. His cheeks were
hollowed for suction as he eventually took all of Alfred in, throat relaxed and eyes closed in concentration.
Welp. So much for stifling not-so-heroic sounds. The moment he felt the sweet heat of the Englishman's mouth utterly envelope his
erection, a flurry of moans and pants broke past the barrier of his lips. He threw his head back, brows drawn together and heart pounding
so hard and so strong it would more than likely burst through his ribcage. His thoughts became drenched in a haze of warmth, his body
trembling, muscles tightening as they waited for the final nudge that would push him off the edge.
bobbed his head a little faster, tongue gliding along Alfred's cock. Those noises that Alfred was making were absolutely heavenly to his
ears, and he made sure to try and remember them as best as he could. His fingers gently massaged Alfred's inner thighs and he hollowed his
cheeks out just a little more, trying to coax Alfred to cum.
Coax no more, Artie, coax no more. Sweat rolled down the sides of the American's neck, his panting growing in speed and volume until each
dropped in a short moan. Everything tightened. His stomach clenched as the molten lust swirled to a head. Thoughts were doused in a warm
haze as finally, his breath hitched, and he released into the Englishman's mouth, riding the convulsions of orgasm to the very last
one. "Hah--! Artie~!"
quickly swallowed all that Alfred had to give, sucking on his cock lightly afterwards to milk every last drop. He pulled back, licking his
lips as he gazed down at the American. "Mm... you really need to eat more fruit, and less oily foods."
quivered after the final waves of climax had run their coarse, basking in the afterglow of it all. Yeah. Pretty much fucking amazing day,
really. Would've been even better if they coulda just...not talked for a bit. Bc "...Dude...are you...seriously gonna...bring th-that up
now." He didn't bother lifting his head, instead shifting the back of his hand to rest over his eyes. Just. Really? They were going
there?
chuckled, licking his thumb. "Well, if you want a repeat of this, love, I'm afraid you really need to start watching your diet. Fruits help
make you taste sweeter."
groggily lifted his head, cheeks still flustered and glasses askew. "Well what the hell's wrong with salty! You want sweet I could scarf
down a few oreos or something..." Not long after that statement, he hastily tugged down his skirt with a huff, limbs still trembling.
chuckled, sitting down on the couch and watching Alfred with an odd mixture of poorly hidden adoration and amusement. "You don't need to
hide, Alfred. I already saw it." And felt it, and tasted it, for that matter.
scoffed, shifting beneath the Englishman's emerald optics before rather clumsily sitting up. "Yeah well forgive me for not wanting to flash
my junk to the open air, I'm cold, and--- how the fuck are you not as hard as a rock right now." :I
reddened slightly. "Don't be so crude!" he huffed, shifting to cross his legs. He was just slightly beginning to get hard, but-- Alfred
didn't need to know that. "You're just... easily excitable!"
grinned cheekily at the red hue to the Englishman's face-- until, yet again, the point was made that he was quickly aroused. Even though
the American got caught up on the word 'easy' so it's meaning kinda got scrambled up, but either way, that was no compliment. "Yeah?! Well
you're old! I bet that's why it takes you so long!" BI
scowled, no longer amused. "I-I'm not -that- old, you little prat! And it's no fault of mine that you didn't so much as even touch me!"
took that as pretty much an invitation. "Well fine! Drop your pants, spread 'em, I'll touch you all you want!" He frowned as he got
shakily to his feet and dropped on the ground in front of the Englishman, flinging the gentleman's legs apart.
reddened immediately, trying to close his legs and keep Alfred at a distance. "I-I didn't mean for you to do it now, you idiot! Sit down!"
really wasn't in the right state of mind to wrestle or argue. He did, however, plant his hands on the man's knees and lean nearer to his
flushed face. "Than whattya want! Maybe you should stop giving me such conflicting messages." Bc
blushed slightly, then huffed, looking away. Quietly, he grumbled, "I want to hold you." Then, a little louder, "So sit down, already!"
blinked. "...O-Oh." And here he had been ready to pounce all over that. Not that the American would be complaining, he was always up for
snuggling. Always. Alfred clambered back onto the sofa, wrapping the blanket around himself as he did so, edging as near to the Englishman
as he could, legs pulled onto the couch.
cleared his throat, looking just slightly embarrassed as he wrapped an arm around Alfred's shoulders, drawing him even closer. "...I hope
I don't have to buy you a game every time I feel the urge to... do any of this."
thought for a moment, considering the best way to respond to such an inquiry. And he laughed. The American leaned his head against the
Englishman--- his Englishman's shoulders. "Hahahaha! Don't be stupid, you'd go broke and I'd run outta room in my cabinet."
smiled just slightly, pressing a light kiss on Alfred's head. A part of him almost thought it'd be worth it, but he chased the idea away
as soon as it came to mind. "...You're right. As if I'd ever condone your addiction to games..."
snorted, prodding Arthur's side lightly with his fingertip. "I ain't addicted, addicted would be like spending day after day sitting on my
ass, shooting through game after game after game. The longest I've played is like 22 hours, but I had potty breaks in between so it wasn't
even straight." Yeah. America wasn't addicted. He wasn't addicted to anything. ...Not fast food. ...Or oil.
shifted a little at the prod, rolling his eyes. "...That's still almost a full day, Alfred. Really, of all the things you could be addicted
to..."
stuck out his bottom lip in a pout. "At least it ain't heroin or meth or something! I could be addicted to a lot worse...."
couldn't resist a small smile, seeing the pout. "I suppose so. But you could at least be addicted to something less... detrimental
to other aspects of your life."
didn't exactly know what 'detrimental' meant, but he could only assume, in this context, that it was bad. He snorted and nestled his head
into the crook of Artie's neck. "Like what", he continued his speech in the most obnoxious British accent he could muster, "A noice gaime
o' cricket, o' writin' a jolly good myst'ry novel!" |D
scoffed at Alfred's terrible imitation of his accent. "...That's was absolutely horrid," he said, shaking his head. "And I was thinking of
something more..." He trailed off to gently grasp Alfred's chin, turning the American's head so he could steal a brief kiss. "...like that."
allowed his eyes to fall to a close, lips upturning into a much gentler smile at the touch. Baby blues fluttered open, and the American
soaked in Arthur's expression idly-- his eyes, so green and cool, his cheeks, so soft and warm, his eyebrows so...browy. He loved it
all. He would cherish it all. "...Yeah. I can definitely see how that could beat Call of Duty, FallOut, or Mortal Combat: DC Universe..."
just chuckled, slightly exasperated. "...I'm glad you see what I mean, then," he murmured, heart fluttering with how close Alfred was. His
eyes were bluer than the seas, and his smile was brighter than the sun; if Arthur had to be honest, he was pretty damn lucky. "I'll expect
your full attention whenever I come over, then."
couldn't help but laugh at that, baby blues glistening. Truth be told, the American was quite the attention hog. All of this starring and
cuddling and praise did wonders for his ego, increasing the size of his head by at least three times (ohgodwhathaveyoudoneArtie). He
wrapped his arms about the other, turning his head to plant a wet kiss on his neck before resting against it again. "You got it, babe,
my attention's all yours."
reddened faintly, huffing. "...Don't call me that," he chided. "It sounds ridiculous."
snickered, feeling the heat radiate from his Brit's face. "M'kay, honeybuns, sounds like a plan." ;u;
wasn't too pleased with that one, either! =///= "That's not that much better!" he huffed. "Really, can't you just call me
by my name? At least I refrain from calling you... say, petal."
lifted his head up and away from Arthur's shoulder, raising a blond eyebrow. "...Petal? Why the hell would you call me petal, what kind've
a weird British pet name is that." =3=
huffed. "It's generally used for girls. Just like how 'babe' is, for American women."
couldn't help but snicker, followed by a soft yawn. "Okay, okay, Artie then. We'll keep the floral nicknames to a minimum." =u=
[ PLURK I AM MAD AT YOU ]
laid off, just a little bit. "...Fine," he sighed, figuring he'd just have to live with 'Artie'. "Just... get some rest now, since you're
tired. Though, you... may want to change into your night clothes before you do so. I can't imagine sleeping in a maid outfit would be
comfortable..."