the Sharpie mustache is probably a bad idea.

I'm not sure what to do with her... but I think you have what not to do covered

yes, but oh so tempting.

rearrange the furniure

furniture

tuck her in bed

I would go with Babyhellfire, but I get the temptation

can only give you suggestions after the fact and that WILL get you in trouble.

cover her in tiny paper balls

or toilet paper

put her in the longboat till she's sober?

there might be a song in this . . "What do you do with a drunken wifie? What do you do with a drunken wifie? . . .

Happy Birthday!