((LOOK AT WHAT I'M GOING TO READ))
Oh dear, Kitty and Max are going to have major nerdgasms over that
teeeheee~
That book is huge though .__.
how many pages?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
*jumps up and down* I AM SO EXCITED.
HEEEEY
HAY GURL
HEYYY
<3333
Ok, here will probably starts my notes about the book
(or more like, my comments : |a)
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Borgia: where incestuous thing seems to be normal
Ahahahahahhaaa this is already brilliant
Rodrigue is the son of Isabelle, who is maried to Jofré Borgia...
And Isabelle was a Borgia before she married Jofré
/Ooooh yeah.
Oooh. /researches family tree
The author is writing an ode about Rodrigo's manliness
:|||||||||||||
._.
Ahahahahahahahahhahhahahaha
I don't think you want me to translate that, but she writes like at least 5 lines about how that guy was charming etc..
I was going to watch the first episode of The Borgias right after everyone left earlier...but it was just too much
I couldn't handre it
lol
XD
Wait, what
"He considers his sons with passion"
/quoi
WITH PASSION
XD
"The more they are beautiful and strong, the more he (Rodrigo) finds himself in them
he watches them blossom with a satisfaction in his whole being that will make his contemporay say "Never have we seen a man more carnal"
.... :|
e.e
Oh, Rodrigo.
....I swear that woman is purple prosing
purple prosing?
"and his children (Cesare, Juan, Lucrezia and Petrucciobis) grew up like soft poplars on the banks of fatherly love's river"
I swear that it is a word for word translation
purple prose-ing?
God. This author has a ... interesting way with words
And I'm only at the 12th page.
Vanozza (Cesare and Lucrezia's mother) didn't live with her children
no ;n;
BUT THERE'S A PRETTY COOL STORY WHERE SOME SWISS GUARDS RANSACKED VANOZZA'S HOUSE AND THEN A FEW MONTHS LATER CESARE GETS REVENGE BY TEARING
THEM LIMB FOR LIMB?
I'm unfamiliar with the term "purple prosing"
I made it 9u9;;
what does it meeean?
It's when you use purple prose xD
XD
OH GOD WHY DID YOU LINK TO TV TROPES. There goes my afternoon
Just learning the phrase now, I realize I am prone to purple prose
purple-prose-prone one might say
(about the place where lived Lucrezia, Gulia Farnese and Adriana)
"it is where that he (Rodrigo) found the women that made him feel whether fatherly love, or
ardor of his senses (does that even make sense...), or even this strange friendship mixed with complicity
At this thought only, a pleasing wave ran through him"
/hahahaha---ohgodwhatamIreading
o.O
Lucrezia, all the boys wanted to marry you when you were only 13
Aww
Yup/ Or, rather, her father wanted her married off when she was only 13
At Lucrezia's wedding, when they got inside the house, Juan and Cesare appeared through a hidden door.
OH AWESOME.
TELL ME MORE
About Lucrezia, when she walked in
"the way she moved looked so pleasant that it seemed she didn't moved at all"
SHE FLOATS
SHE FLOATS EVERYWHERE
PFFFLOL xDDD
DYING
They lost 100pounds of pastries
by throwing it through the window
so people in the street could eat it
Wait, what? pastries?
Ahahahahahahaa XD
yup xDD
THIS FAMILY
Oh god. can I get a direct quote about the pastries, please?
Faustina
a
direct quote would be in French, I think
In French?
Les reliefs du buffet n'étaient point portés aux cuisines, mais jetés par les fenêtres au peuple, qui applaudissait à grands cris: ainsi
furent perdues plus de 100 livres de pâtisseries, soupire Burckard.
Google translates that to:
WHO IS THIS BURCKARD CHAP
The reliefs of the buffet were not brought to the kitchen, but thrown out the window at people, who applauded loudly: thus were lost
AND WHY IS HE SIGHING?
over 100 pounds of pastries, Burckard sighs.
DOES HE CARE SO FOR PASTRIES?
XD
SIGH. THOSE WERE MY BEST APPLE TARTS.
Ahahahaa XD
DAMMIT CESARE! <SIGH> I WAS GOING TO EAT THOSE FOR BREAKFAST
ALL OF THEM
FATTY POPE
HAHAHA
I guess the sighing part is added by the author
But who is Burckard?
Jean Buckard was a man who worked in the vatican
and whose job was to record stuff (according to the author, again)
AH. Maybe he's jelly because he doesn't have 100 pounds of pastries
Well, she points out that he was fair in his writing, but he seems to loath unnecessary expenses
(I guess throwing out pastries was something "unnecessary"
Too bloody right it was unnecessary XD that is the most interesting wedding celebration I have ever heard of
Totally doing that when I get married
Who's the author of this book, btw? Totally spamming quotes on tumblr
Maria Bellonci
And you don't know the best
after the "feast", Rodrigo made ANOTHER dinner, but only with close relatives
Please tell me there were more pastries
I take it this is Luc's marriage to Giovanni Sforza?
Stefano Infessura wrote that Rodrigo throwed dragée to women's lap
Yep!
But people misinterpreted what he wrote and thus was born the rumor that he threw candies in their cleavage
Ahahaa wonderful
Juan, one of Lucrezia's brother was said to be really snobbish
and conceited
He had to marry the cousin of Spain's king. And Rodrigo was worried about Juan.
Like he appointed two men to watch him constantly, sending him messenger so he had to be careful to wear gloves
So salt water wouldn't touch his skin
what
Jaun
Or even Juan
who the fuck is Jaun
Anyway
Juan
you know
ADFBVAHKSGBAIU
KNOB
JUAN IS A KNOB AND I CAN'T TYPE BECAUSE OF ALL MY /FEELINGS/
Nah
it's because I'm here
knob?
Also
Faustina
a
dick
oh
you guys should see my "bedside table"
._.
show us, show uuus
Why did that lead directly from talk of knobs?
it was a coincidence
Three first thoughts:
"HOHO HEADPHONES"
XD
"Wow, that knife"
"Teeeheee, the geek guide"
Hehehehehehehe
Yeah, this coming out of a talk of knobs is purely coincidental, because I was moving into the bedroom so I could just pass out whenever
and I had to move my headphones to put down my tea and I thought "This is an epic stack. I should show someone.
It is! I don't know the books at all, but still
BOOKS 8D
wait wait
... I ... er. ... Did you post a picture or something?
what?
Yes
Yes I did
XD
I put a picture of my epic "bedside table" in here
it's not really a table. It's a stereo sitting on some boxes
with lots of books
SO WHY CAN I NOT SEE THIS PICTURE
WHERE IS IIIIT
IS PLURK FUCKING WITH ME
AGAIN
also, it's unclear which one of Juan or Cesare was the oldest son
I'll put it in again
But she says that Cesare is probably the oldest, for it would justify his bitterness
(the annotated version XD ))
I keep thinking "Juan isn't an Italian name, why would they name him Juan?" but then I remember "Oh yeah...the Borgias are Spanish."
Yeah.. there's a fair bit of contradiction as far at their ages go...
Some sources say Juan is the eldest, and some say Cesare is.
Wikipedia says that Juan was born the year before Cesare buuuut
I don't think there's solid fact on exactly which year Cesare was born even
So
who knows.
Because of the documents in which Rodrigo recognized his sons
But if Juan is the oldest, it would explain why he is the one who gets married to the Spain Royal Family girl, while Cesare is in the Church
((WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY ROMANCE NOVELS? AND A KNIFE??? And what's the grey book at the bottom of the pile?))
Yeah, I'd agree with that.
but Cesare got married off to a pretty awesome lady too
but on the other side, if Cesare is the oldest, it would explain why he is so bitter about having power crushed
XP
about his dream of having power*
I have almost every romance novel by that author. Those (except for the top three) are all of a series
I have a knife because...I...have a knife? I stole it from my granddad before they auctioned off his stuff when he died
The Artist, the Philosopher and the Warrior states that Cesare was the eldest
and the grey book at the bottom of the pile is The Odyssey of Homer
by the by, I so recommend that book to you both.
It describes Leonardo as a dandy.
ooooh. It's a pretty copy of it
"Cesare Borgia, que tous appelaient Valentino ou Valenza en raison de son titre d'archevêque de Valence"
So everybody called Cesare Valentino
or Valenza
/snorts
the front cover is pretty, too
Il Valentino~~ I love that
He was Duke, right?
Archbishop
for now
or was that somewhere else?
DONT SPOIL ME, I DONT KNOW IF HE'LL BE DUKE OR NOT
(( it's oooold. it was published in 1932 :3 ))
I think Juan had a title because Rodrigo's first son died.
...yeah Juan was Duke of Gandie
Yeah... I seem to remember something being passed onto him
IS IT POSSIBLE TO SPOIL HISTORY?
IDK?
pfffft!
XD
History spoilers
Il Valentino came from Valentinois and Valencia...
Also, yeah...Rodrigo's first son is described like a war genius but he died (probably at war)
Pft. So he went from a war genius to having Juan.
Ahaha
He was fiancé to the Spanish royal girl, and was duke of Gandie
Then he died and everything was passed on from him to Juan. So, I kind of understand Cesare if he is the eldest
because he should have been the one inheriting those.
was Il Valentino also valedictorian?
/bad joke
Also, at some point Joffré (that I call Petruccio Bis) was "officially" married at 12 or 13.
: |
"officially"?
He never saw his wife, she wasn't even there at the ceremony
It was an ambassador who improvised the "shy, virgin girl" role and made laugh everyone, Borgia included
Whaaaaaaaaaaat
Actually, I think it was the same for one of Luc's marriages
... To her second husband, I think?
Or was it her third?
you want me to find that paragraph?
derp
history fail
SHE GOT MARRIED SEVERAL TIMES?
*GASP*
Please!
AND YES. IS THAT FALSE SHOCK OR...?
Yep, Naples' king send his son Frederic (I guess it must be Frederico in Italian)
ITS A FALSE, BUT TOTALLY NATURAL SHOCK.
HOW COULD I KNOW THAT SHE MARRIED SEVERAL TIMES, I'M ONLY AT PAGE 39
because the king was a bit worried of Rodrigo
And since Cesare was "in the Church", he got Jofré
And it was Prince Frederico who made the fake bride
WELL. ER. SORRY FOR THE SPOILERS THEN
reverse spoilers XD
though all the information is available in the Animus database
Ahaha, true
The author use glaucous as a compliment
.___. I don't think I would be happy if someone told me that my eyes are glaucous
Ahaha, a compliment for whom?
Sancia of Aragon, Jofré's fiancée/wife.
Nor would I XD
She was 3 years older than him and already fiancé/wife of another man
why would you not be happy about that?
it just means blueish grey or green
... does it?
because the 2nd or third meaning of the word is
I was so sure it meant something else
sinister/sad or something among the lines
it says that it means bluish-grey or green, though in botanical terms it also means somewhat opaque
however in reference to eyes I'd imagine it was the former definition
and in French, you almost never, ever use glaucous for the color. I actually didn't know it had that meaning until I looked for the word in
the dictionnary :|
it's from the Greek glaukos
yep
Ah, words
and their many meanings
But I guess that yes, it makes more sense, for after that, the author is talking about the sea color xD
hahahahaha
Yeah XD
OH GOD IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION IN MY ASK
What is it?
You get to have a party with any 10 people ever. From the past or present, fictional or real. Who do you pick?
.....xD
First reaction: ME AT A PARTY AHAHAHAHAHA
LOL
LOOL
Then I realised I wouldn't be able to answer it
(hmm, that part about Jofré's wedding night was TMI)
It would be bad enough with real people from the entirety of human history, but fictional people are included as well /sobs
(DO TELL)
I can't really think of ten historical figures I'd want at a party
fictional is simpler
(APPARENTLY CESARE HAD SEX EIGHT TIMES ON HIS WEDDING NIGHT. THEN WROTE TO HIS FATHER ABOUT IT IN EXPLICIT DETAIL.)
(KLJHQKJHSDKJHSHJLKJS)
(THIS FAMILY. I CAN'T EVEN)
(WELL, JUAN DID TOO)
Rebecca: Isn't that a Catholic thing?
(WHAAAAAAT THIS FAMILYYYYY I CAN'T TAKE IT)
OH YEAH
Rebecca: You're supposed to tell the Pope that stuff. Lets the old guy live a little, ya know?
IT'S IN AC, ISN'T IT???
Apparently, Sancia's escort dressed off BOTH Sancia and Jofré
TUCK THEM IN THE BED
AND AS THEY LEFT
But it's different when the Pope's your dad, you know? You could leave out some details
WHAT. FUCK. DYING.
TWO GUYS COMES IN LIKE "HEY WHATS UP HERE
ONE OF THEM BEING LIKE, RODRIGO'S COUSIN OR SOMETHING
AND THE OTHER IS
/THE KING/
XD
Yeah, it is in AC. Otherwise...I wouldn't know about it e_e
and "they entertained themselves, as the customs at that were, by joking at the two newlyweds and admiring how "the prince (Jofré) was
WHAT. THE KING.
That does seem like it'd be kind of awkward, but...they're an awkward family
THE KING OF NAPLES?
gracious and forward...And I'd pay (a lot, but that's a french idiom) for others to see him as I saw him that night" wrote the Borgia
cardinal
DUDE, THATS WRONG, JOFRE IS 13
.... creepers
and yes, the new king of Naples
Age of consent was 11 though!
it was a different time
Still, Jofré must have been some Apollon cause everybody said he was good looking
considering that life expectancy was fairly short and blah blah blah
I think they were all supposed to be pretty stunning
Cesare was meant to be "the most handsome man of all Italy"
And Luc was certainly supposed to be beautiful
... From what I've seen of Juan I'd say he was the combo breaker
but still
there are so many people in history who are described that way
Yep but Luc was shadowed by that Giulia xD
I think there's some foul play involved
xDD
like...the nobles paid people to write that about them
and they were really just normal people
or normal looking, anyway
Poor Luc's first husband
you don't often read a history book and find out about a random peasant who was gorgeous and everyone wanted to sleep with them
but then they died because they were poor
suffering from an inferiority complex
xD
:|
xDDDDD
NO I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT. LUC WAS HOT. END OF STORY.
na because if it was a peasant and everyone wanted to sleep with them
it's either a whore or someone that all daddy-peasants hunted down.
Also, fuck Giovanni Sforza. What a knob.
Kitty, I think you've formed an unnaturally strong bond with Lucrezia...
hahaha
.... what are you saying what a preposterous idea
ha
as is that would happen
*if
hahahahahahaha
I love how Lucrezia, Giulia and Adriana are described like Charlie's angels or something among the lines
AHAHAHAHAHA WHAT
SERIOUSLY
QUOTE. PLEASE QUOTE THAT FOR ME
About those three moving out to Pesero-orwherethehellGiovannilived
"The Pope saluted the three women with tenderness"
and a little bit late
later*
The trip was long but not boring, given the personalities of the beautiful Giulia, the kind Lucrezia and the ardent Adriana
I mean, they LIVE together
they travel together
and they are Rodrigo's favorite
favorites*
Rodrigo's Angels
That is so beautiful /weeps
Luc is blonde... Is Adriana brunette and Giulia ginger?
I think Giulia had brown hair
It was described as dark, anyway
there's always a trio like that. It's like...an unspoken rule
xDD
just like how when two friends walk together, chances are one will run to cross a street and the other will just stroll
.....
.......How did I never notice that
hahaha
nobody ever questions it
they just accept it as the way things are
True, but still that's weeeird .__.
In 1494, Lucrezia was sick
/sobs
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
And there was a rumor in Rome
that she was dying and Rodrigo sends letters and messengers until Lucrezia finally answered
and I won't quote that TL;DR but Rodrigo's answer was
"kjesdhkjzhddq BABY I WAS SO WORRIED, YOU DONT EVEN KNOW"
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW
HAHAHAHAHAHA
THAT'S SO CUTE
I KNOW HE WAS A DICK, BUT I REALLY LOVE HIS LOVE FOR HER
IT IIIIS
XD
Wait, wow Rodrigo
You're such an asshole
Giulia's brother was dying and Giulia wanted to go see him but it meant leaving Lucrezia with her husband
Lucrezia and Giovanni managed to convince her to wait until further instruction, but when those came, Angelo's (? on the name) was worse
so Giulia packed up and left with Adrianna, leaving Lucrezia behind but around the same time, Rodrigo wanted his "angels" to leave Pesaro
And Rodrigo was pissed off
even though her motives to leave are well-founded
... Yeah. he's a dick.
Not a duck as I originally posted
quack
quaaack
=_= I have to sleep a bit
He also was pissed off because she didn't express "filial love" in her letter to him
and Rodrigo thought that her letter was different than those she wrote to Cesare
D: Go sleep
hehehehehe, I've been in bed this whole tiiime
Kitty, if you need me when Max gets on, just have her text or call me <3
YES GO SLEEP. I shall call upon you if my longing gets too great
HE WAS JEALOUS OF HER LETTERS TO CESARE???? BRILLIANT
Zzzzzzz
IF YOU ARE TYPING THAT YOU ARE NOT ASLEEP. GO TO SLEEP.
PERHAPS AFTER CHECKING MY LATEST POST ON TUMBLR
*likespams then sleeps*
Bloody hell. Did you ever likespam. Sleep well, love.
THIS QUESTION IN MY ASK IS IMPOSSIBLE
YOU CAN DO IT
I SO FAR ONLY HAVE FOUR PEOPLE
I CAN'T DECIIIIIDE
AND THEY'RE A TERRIBLE MIX
WHO ARE THEY?
(also, apparently the story with Vanozza and Cesare avenging her is fake D: )
Leonardo da Vinci, Sherlock Holmes, Stephen Fry and Luc.
(WHAT NO. I LOVED THAT STORY. HOW IS IT FAKE??)
(The author said that there were no proof of Vanozza's presence during the French Invasion and that she most likely were at Saint Ange for
she wrote a letter to Rodrigo to ask him to let her leave for she was worried.)
(BUT YEAH, I'M DISAPPOINTED TOO, THAT STORY SOUNDED SO COOL)
Hm Hmmmmmmm
Your favorite actor? Book character?
((DAMN IT.))
I don't know if i should be considering their interactions though! Should I choose people who would get along with each other?
Na, I don't think so
I mean, WHO CARES?
You get to speak with 10 awesome people!
(also, I just had the idea that Albert Einstein and Leonardo would be BFF)
THAT'S TRUE. But the problem is that it's ten people from the entirety of human history, and anyone ever imagined by the human race.
It's too hard to decide on ten people!
(They probably would!)
yeah it must be D:
I must confess I kind of gave up.
Awwww D:
I explained my reasoning though! And said they could ask more specifically, like from a certain period in history or something
that would make it so much easier
I WANT YOU TO DO IT
FOR
RENAIIIISSANNNCE
EASY. LUC, CESARE, LEONARDO, MACHIAVELLI, COPERNICUS, LEO'S MATHS BRO WHOSE NAME I'VE FORGOTTEN, CATERINA SFORZA, BOTTICELLI, UH CAN EZIO
Lucrezia was insecure when Rodrigo called back Jofré and his wife
COME??? AND FEDERICO
oooh why?
because she was inexperienced with the court's life
and she feared that people compared her to Sancia
... that is adorable in a way
but at the end everything turns alright
and Sancia and Lucrezia became friends
/d'aww
buhyooo~~~
I know she became good friends with Cesare's wife...
Who? Lucrezia or Sancia?
Luc
Sancia had an affair with Juan, the stupid brother send in Spain who came back on Rodrigo's order
sfjeqslfj Lucrezia stop being so buhyoo
She had an affair with Cesare as well!
Yup
I KNOW RIGHT
SHE IS SUCH A QT
SANCIA, GEEZ, I DIDNT KNOW YOU LIKED THE BORGIA FAMILY THAT MUCH
AHAHAHAHAHA SWEPT AWAY BY THEIR CHARMS~
OR SOMETHING. IT PROBABLY INVOLVED PENISES MORE
I THINK ITS MORE ABOUT PENISES INDEED
also, Lucrezia why are you so kind to your stupid husband
D8<
WHICH STUPID HUSBAND IS THIS? STILL KNOBBY SFORZA?
HOW IS SHE BEING KIND?
BECAUSE APPARENTLY
SHE WARNED HIM SO SFORZA LEFT ROME?
OH YEAH.
LUC
Y U SO NICE
SOMETIMES
Aw and then she went to a convent
Yup to ~steady her feelings~
Fuck you, Rodrigo
the author thinks that she voluntarily went in
Actually, I think it fits
because Lucrezia was raised in a convent. The author thinks it was like a "safe place" for her.
Also, if it was Rodrigo who send her in, why would he send soldiers to get her back to Rome?
... good point
HM
Was she not sent there another time?
Is that what I'm thinking of perhaps?
I don't know...yet? xD
Ahaha
Sorry I'm so impatient for you to get through this book XD
I WANT TO DISCUSS IT ALL
It's okay xD I understand
I WISH I COULD READ FASTER
but I keep being distracted
Distracted? From these glorious beings? HOW?
Music and food
I am a weak being, will you ever forgive me?
Ah. Well. Fair enough. You are forgiven.
(My brain went full "EZIO, WHY ARE YOU IN THE BOOK, YOU DONT EVEN BELONG HERE"
(Ahahahaha)
"Suddenly, at Duke of Grandie's side appeared a masked man"
And then the Duke of Grandie, Juan, died
/crying violin music
AHAHAHAAAAA BYE JUAN
I AM NOT SAD TO SEE YOU GO
HAVE FUN IN THE TIBER
they managed to find his body °3°
Ha, "who will win in this situation? Cesare Borgia"
Maaaan, I really hope he didn't got as far as killing his own brother
as stupid as this one was
He probably did. If not himself, by his orders
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
I WANT THAT BOOOOOK
After Juan's death and maybe a month or more after, Cesare flew Rome
BABY! HI LOVE!
HI MY LOVE.
As did Jofré and Sancia, because Rodrigo went into a "BAH, EVERYBODY HAS TO BE PURE, I'LL RENOUNCE TO MY FUNCTION AND GO TO A MONASTERY, HA"
but, like, some months later, Rodrigo went better, so Cesare came back
but Rodrigo was totally indifferent to his son
: |
ALSO, HEY MAX, HEEYYYY~
rodrigo was completely heart broken by Juan's death...
FUCK JUAN
LOLOL OH MY GOD
I KNOW RIGHT
THE LEAST WONDERFUL BORGIA
die today? or.. almost die? I should get on when you are gone and say "Cesare pops a glock out and pops a cap in everyone's asses"
EVEN POOR FORGOTTEN GIOFFRE IS BETTER THAN TOU
AH PLURK KILLED HALF MY TEXT.
John asked how I was going to die today
and then continue from that plurk
PFFFFRRT xDDDD
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
-sits around on the floor though to listen to story time though- 8D
So the Sforza guy was the one who said that there was an incestuous relationship between Rodrigo and Lucrezia
Yup. TOLD YOU HE WAS A KNOB
-already knew that, but only Cesare is allowed to be that way GAG. JK haha wtf is wrong with me-
That guy went a looong way to finally make the revelation....to a guy who didn't gave a fuck about it
Annnnnd Perotto appears!
\o/
And died a page latter
\o/
Found in the Tiber with Pantasilea
Lucrezia
a
PAGE
Lucrezia
a
PAGE????????????//
HE GETS ONE PAGE??????????????????/
THIS BOOK HAD BETTER BE FUCKING SHORT. HE DESERVES A GOOD SECTION OF IT THANK YOU VERY MUCH
Ok 3 pages
and that book is 400+ pages :|
I want this book D': sobs
At Lucrezia's second marriage
Cesare appeared on stage
dressed
as a
Unicorn
/pppppffffffffffffffffffrrrt
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
Lucrezia
a
QUOTE PLEASE
OMG
THIS IS PRICELESS
FUCK
CESARE.
I CAN JUST IMAGINE IT AND IT IS KILLING ME
"On vit César paraître en scène travesti en licorne, symbole de pureté et de loyauté"
-puts an arm around Kitty- There there.. We'll dress Cesare up just for you
okay, google translate is saying that says "We live in Caesar appear transvestite scene unicorn, a symbol of purity and loyalty"
How would you translate it exactly?
AND YES, PLEASE. CAN WE????
LOOOOL
xDDDDD
So. Not only was he dressed as a unicorn, but in drag as well.
We've seen (vit is...One of the past tense for voir = see) Cesare appear disguised (one of the many sense of travestir) on scene
Well. Cesare. This is a new side of you
as a unicorn, symbol of purity and loyalty
Ahaha, thank you <3
UNICORN
I KNEW THEY EXISTED
BUT IN CESARE BORGIA
CESARE
GIVE ME THAT GLASS OF WINE
YOU'RE DOING FUNNY THING
-WHINIES, BUCKS, GLITTER-
DONT GLITTER
THAT'S 16'S THING
D8<
HAHAH D8< OK FINE
DYING
STILL CAN'T GET OVER CESARE THE UNICORN
XDDDDD
BEST UNICORN IN THE WORLD
I LOVE THIS BOOK. PASTRIES. UNICORNS.
PURPLE PROSE
SO MUCH OF IT
EVERYWHERE
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
"Mais son visage impassible était abîmé par une poussé de ce "mal français""
(speaking about Cesare's face)
Cesare, dear, french disease =/= than acnea
/rooooooooooooooolls
OH GOD
HE WORE
WIG
TO GO WOO THAT FRENCH GIRL
HAHAHA, OHGOD CESARE
HAHAHA OH MY FUCKING GOOOOOOOOD
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA
BRB. Going to get sandwiches and a screw driver because John is dismantling his xbox since it's not working.
DDDDDDDD:
lol my xbox is working just fine. it's /his/ that's not working lol
Ahahaha well, that's okay then
XD
YEAH XD
xDD
DDDDD: Lucrezia lost a baby by falling
DDDDDDDx
BY FALLING?????// WHAT???? I KNEW SHE HAD HAD MISCARRIAGES, BUT BUT BUT /SOBS
She was playing with some girls
ran
slipped
and grabbed the nearest girl around her but that girl fell on her back
/sob
/sobs oh god.
no
no no no no no
That is too sad
.......
the page right after Lucrezia's miscarriage
is Cesare's wedding and the night where he did that girl 6 times >__>
THE PAGE AFTER
THIS PERSON HAS TERRIBLE PACING
/FLIPS TABLES
IT IS SO FUCKING TACTLESS
and the paragraph right after is the bitchfight between Sancia and Rodrigo because Jofré almost died
by one of the guards e__e
....ohgod Lucrezia ;;
/WAILS
I DON'T KNOW IF I LOVE OR HATE THIS BOOK
Her second husband had to leave ;;
She was 6 months pregnant
/sooooooooooobs
Rodrigo was furious, so he chased away Sancia, who was her husband's sister
And Sancia and her brother begged Lucrezia and Jofré to come with them and run away
but they didn't, and Sancia had to leave
Didn't he leave for kind of a good reason though?
He knew someone was against him... or something
yup, the Borgia were already plotting against him
And he did write to her begging her to follow him!
He will always be the favourite of her husbands
so the Sforza guy that has been around for ages warned him, so he left one night
and Rodrigo, that eilsjleifjqliemfqmoiqesf
he appointed Lucrezia to be the governor of some obscure place
which meant, isolating her and ensuring that she won't be able to communicate with her husband
and told Jofré to follow her there
WHAT
I KNEW NOTHING OF THAT PART
RODRIGO
YOU UTTER
COMPLETE
KNOB
and people who recorded stuff at that time wrote that she "does nothing but cry"
and rodrigo appointed 6 guys who swore that they would always, always follow Jofré, no matter what
so even Jofré was put under surveillance
/TEARS
RODRIGOOOOOOOOOOO
ALL MY RAGE
Hahahaha, Paris foreveeeer
The student made some satirical comedies about Cesare's wedding and the French king tried to stop it
when he went there though, there were 6000 students facing him, threatening him to make a rebellion if he even dared try to stop them
Ahahahahaa
That is brilliant
Oh god. I just. A unicorn. I cannot take Cesare seriously now.
I hope Luc enjoyed her wedding.
With entertainment like that, how could you not?
I wish they had camera at that time
so we could have seen this glorious moment
YES
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
OH WHAT I WOULD GIVE TO SEE ONE OF THE MOST FEARED MEN IN THE RENAISSANCE IN A UNICORN COSTUME
And I would have sang
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAALWAYS I WANT TO BE WITH YOU"
"AND MAKE BELIEVE WITH YOUUUU'"
AND LIVE IN HARMONY HARMONY OOOH LOVE
It would have been awesome
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Aww Lucrezia's baby
IS IT ADORABLE? I BET IT IS
IT IS
THEY SEND A GUY TO CONVINCE HER HUSBAND TO COME BACK
WHICH HE DOES
AND THEN THERE'S THE BABY
AND FOR A MOMENT, EVERYTHING IS RAINBOW AND BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING HURT
BUHYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OH MY GOD
SO CUTE
SO
NOT TO PUT A DAMPENER ON IT
BUT HOW SOON AFTER THAT DOES HE GET HIS HEAD CAVED IN?
until Cesare arrives 3 days later and the author reminds that he wants Naples but the Aragons are already here so it means that
Lucrezia's love and Rodrigo's buhyooness over baby Rodrigo II will end soon
Gdi Cesare RUINING EVERYTHING
GDI, NOT JUAN CERVILLON THAT GUY WAS AWESOME
SKJLQSHJKLSHJH FUCKING UNFAIR
JUAN CERVILLON? I KNOW NOT OF THIS NAME
JUAN CERVILLON WAS A BRO
HE WAS FRIEND WITH BOTH ARAGONS AND BORGIAS
HE ASKED FOR PERMISSION TO RODRIGO SO HE COULD MAKE SOME POURPARLER WITH LUC'S HUSBAND
HE WENT TO NAPLES' KING TO SAY "KAY, MAN, I HANDLE THIS, YOU CHILL OUT"
AND CONVINCED LUCREZIA'S HUSBAND TO COME BACK
WHAT A BRO
AND THEY WERE BOTH SO GRATEFUL, THAT JUAN GOT TO HOLD THE BABY DURING THE BAPTISM
BUHYOOOOOO
THAT IS ADORABLE
OH GOD
SO, ONE DAY HE'S LIKE, "HEY, I HAVE TO GO BACK TO NAPLES CAUSE I GOT A WIFE AND KIDS THERE"
AND EVERYBODY, BORGIAS INCLUDED WERE LIKE "NO, BRO, DONT GO, WE LIKE YOU"
"WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN TO YOU"
AND LIKE THE AWESOME GUY HE WAS, HE LAUGHED IT OFF LIKE "NO GUYS, I GOT THIS DONT WORRY"
ON HIS WAY THERE HE EATS AT HIS NEPHEW'S PLACE
AND GOT FUCKING ASSASSINATED. HE DIDNT EVEN HAVE THE TIME TO TAKE OUT HIS SWORD.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
NOOOOOOO
/SOBS
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
AND I GUESS THAT ITS CESARE'S FAULT
OKAY SO HE SOUNDED AWESOME AND I GOOGLED HIM AND AND AND
OH GOD THEY DIDN'T JUST KILL HIM
WHAT
THEY FUCKING CHOPPED OFF HIS HEAD
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD8
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
IN THE BOOK, IT SAYS THAT THEY BURRIED HIM THE DAY AFTER
SO NOBODY COULD LOOK AT THE INJURIES ON HIS BODY
AND BE DISGUSTED THEY WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO SUCH A BRO
I THINK CESARE DID THAT CAUSE HE REALLY WANTED NAPLES
BUT
BUT
HE COULD HAVE ASKED NICELY
JUAN WAS A BRO /SOBS
THIS WEBSITE IS AWESOME
CONTAINS LITERALLY HUNDREDS OF BIOGRAPHIED
*BIOGRAPHIES
INCLUDING FOR CESARE AND LUC
AND THEIR DAD
SKLJSLKJ ITS AWESOME
IT IIIIIS
Although that's where i found out about poor Juan's separation from his head
/SOB
HE IS SUCH A BRO. I AM TRYING TO FIND OUT AS MUCH AS I CAN ABOUT HIM,
JUAN CERVILLON, BRO MEDAL
Lucrezia had a "court"
my phone
it is beeping
where is it
Goooood....Morning?
NEVER MIND THAT. UNICORNS, BB.
UNICORNS.
yeah, morning. it's 10:15
Lucrezia knew how to read, write and speak Latin
Apparently she wasn't too great at Latin though!
But I think she spoke/read/wrote five languages in total?
albeit she didn't speak it fluently she could write a speech in Latin on her own
I don't know, she doesn't say much more
D:
She knew a bit of Greek, liked poetry
And was basically a big pile of buhyoo?
And had a copy of Canzionere by Petrarch, with a hardback, decorated cover and written manually.
And was a big pile of buhyoo
Heh 8D
Fuck, she knows Latin!
Aaaah! Run! She knows a dead language!
Head for the hills! Head for Azerbaijan! Run round the four-court!
OH GOD. ANGIE. DID LUC'S BUHYOO KILL YOU OFF?
SOMEBODY SPOILED ME THE END OF THE BOOK
WHAT
I WAS SO SHOCKED
I DIDNT KNOW LUCREZIA WOULD DIE D8<
OH GOD IT WASN'T ME SOMEHOW, WAS IT?
NO, NO IT WASNT
WHAT. AHAHAHAHAHA, IT WAS THE 15OOS BRO
(I had dinner that's why xD)
BUT.
I THOUGHT STORIES ALWAYS ENDED WITH A "HAPPY FOREVER AFTER"
.....I don't even know how you write this
Not for her /sobs
Also I reached Lucrezia's husband death
;A;
The second one?
yup
/sobs
Why did he have to die? ;A;
omg
While he was dying, Lucrezia and Sancia made his meal right by his side
slept in improvised beds
buhyoo ;3; that is so cute
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING
HAHAHA, LUCREZIA'S BEEN DEAD FOR 500 YEARS
XD
HOW IS THAT A SPOILER?
LOLOLOLOL
*insensitive troll*
OH RIGHT
I'M SERIOUSLY CRACKING UP HERE
THERE ARE MIRTHFUL TEARS WELLING IN MY EYES
I THOUGHT YOU WERE LAUGHING BECAUSE HER HUSBAND DIED. THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN INSENSITIVE.
BUT YES. NOT MUCH OF A SPOILER XD
/STILL DYING
/MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Cesare, you're such an asshole
Yup ;n;
Poor Luc.
Rodrigo, you are one too
Thing is, she was so upset following his death, Rodrigo sent her away because he's a knob. And then Cesare set off on one of his attempts
to rule Italy. He went hundreds of miles out of his way to see her, and she was actually cheered up by it! WHY LUC
WHY
I KNOW YOU LOVE YOUR BRO
BUT
HE KILLED YOUR HUSBAND
lol
And then Leonardo
I don't know why, reading his name makes everything better
reading his name makes me hear "This is SO EXCITING" in my head
BECAUSE IN A LAND OF SIN, HE WAS WONDERFUL AND AMAZING
HOW ENLIGHTENING
DAMN, YOU BEAT ME AT IT
8D
BRB
MUST SHOWER AND EAT AND MAYBE GO GET JUICE
OKAY SWEETCHEEKS
OK
I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS PHONIC GEM
"Isle of view"
I ORDERED A BOOK ABOUT LUC FROM AMAZON TODAY BTW
ARGH. FOOD TIME. BACK IN A WHILE~
Isle of view
....oh god
I can't believe it
I GOT IT
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Hahahaha!
Bravo!
I was thinking in the shower that I should have specified that it's not pronounced like the French "île"
but yay!
:3
OH.
MAN
I'M SLOW
I tend to prononce "I sssle"
I DIDN'T GET IT BEFORE
when there's no reason to pronounce the s
hahahahaha
o3o
When Cesare went to see Luc at Nepi, she wasn't /that/ happy
Actually, she was quite worried because he had already started to talk about her next husband and who it could be e__e
Bloody hell.
Cesare
Back the fuck up and think for a moment, would you?
Am I thinking of another time? I'm sure ... was it when she was ill?
I DON'T KNOW.
HE GOES TO SEE HER A LOT.
INDEED
I need to sort out the timeline in my head, I think. I'm getting confused too much
xD
....HA
When Rodrigo told Lucrezia that some guy wanted to marry her, she said No
"Why", he asked, curious more than surprised.
WHY?
WHY DO YOU THINK
KNOB
GOD. RODRIGO
I HATE YOU MORE AND MORE EACH DAY
good thing he's dead, then
AND HER THIRD HUSBAND WASN'T THAT GREAT ANYWAY
AND YES
VERY GOOD
SO GLAD
"Because my husbands were quite unlucky", she said and then left, pissed off
Ahahahahaha yesssssssssss
Also, "quite unlucky?" One was forcibly divorced from her and disgraced, the other brutally murdered.
the exact french words are
"sont fort mal tombés"
google translate that as to fall ill, but that's not the meaning here
Kind of... suffered a bad fate kind of thing?
I think there's a double sense, the first being, they were unlucky marrying her in general
but also, the second's husband death wasn't pleasant either
So yeah....Translation isn't my forte xD
Ooh. That's cool though. That you can have so much meaning in such a short phrase
I know right? There's a lot of thing that you can't translate
either in French to English or in English to french
what should I eat...
._.
cake
I don't have cake
what
oh no
er
... Make one?
but... but making cakes is such a big process for me
it's not just "buy a box of cake mix and make one"
it's not even "follow this easy recipe"
it's "take time to translate German recipe, convert metric measurements, then spend two days making cake"
... gosh
Well, baking with you in the future will be exciting.
OKAY
PASTA
I do have pasta!
and yes, baking with me is an endeavour in and of itself
cooking can be pretty exciting, if I'm planning a big meal for everyone
but everyday cooking is pretty chill
baking is mostly for special occasions
When we bake something together, let's not make anything extravagant then ;D
...define extravagant <.<
Anything with more than ... six ingredients.
CAN WE MAKE CUPCAKES. I KNOW THEY'RE SUPER SIMPLE BUT
WE CAN DECORATE THEM AND MAKE THEM CUTE AND AND AND
IF MAX IS THERE THEY'R BOUND TO LOOK ABSOLUTELY FUCKING AMAZING.
RIGHT, YOU DO THE CAKE MIX, MAX CAN DO THE DECORATING, AND I'LL JUST EAT CAKE
PLAN
SORTED
o.O You make things with less than six ingredients? hahaha
I suppose when we make cupcakes it'll be at a point when I'm not still reeling about having to make 150 cupcakes for my sister's wedding
in one night
so yes, we can make cupcakes
\o/ \o/ \o/
8DDDDDDDD
I should show you pictures of the cupcakes I made...
YES
YES YOU SHOULD
Faustina
partage
I didn't make that cake there, though
mum bought that
and nobody ate it
XD
oh man they look amazing!!!
... you don't want to make cakes for my wedding, do you?
cakes or cupcakes?
EITHER
BOTH
WHATEVER
I can, as long as it doesn't have to be a night before the wedding
I need at least two days
I didn't even stay for the ceremony at my sister's wedding, I was so exhausted and frustrated
D: Poor baby! I'll make sure you get plenty of rest! And my wedding shall be small, since i have no friends! 8D
;3;
I will totally make you cakes for your wedding
but you DO have friends
I should know
I'm one of them
....BUHYOOOO
OF COURSE YOU ARE
YOU WILL GET AN INVITATION TO MY WEDDING
OBVIOUSLY
8D
how cruel would it be to be like, "make my cakes, bitch" then not invite you?
really quite cruel...
hahaha
(Rodrigo, some times after Luc's third wedding, about Ces who would lay on a couch and sleep to show that he's bored and don't care
"he's a little strange"...No shit, Sherlock)
(THAT IS AMAZING.)
(THAT IS SO WONDERFUL)
ALSO YOU JUST READ THE BIT BOUT HER RULING THE VATICAN? TELL ME OF IT
Rodrigo had left some times to show the world that Lucrezia wasn't a stupid girl
Approximatively, it was like "hey, I'm off, you handle those papers, seee yaaa~"
HE DID SOMETHING GOOOOOOOOOOOD \o/
AHahahaha
So Lucrezia did the paperwork, and when she had a problem and couldn't take a decision, she asked for one the cardinal
one of the*
Called Georges Costa (who's was pretty old, 85 yo) to help her
And he told her once, that the pope, when faced with a difficult decision, needs someone who will write down the different votes and opinion
And Lucrezia to say that she can do it for she can write
and then there a pun in latin
: | about the pen
and they were both like "LMAOOOO"
XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD X D
ACTUALLY IMAGINING THEM SAYING THAT NOW. AN OLD MAN AND A BLONDE GIRL.
Uncool part about Rodrigo and Cesare making orgies with 50 whores
but Lucrezia's presence here is unsure
:|
Ah, yeah. I know that story. Apparently she was there.
Rodrigo and Lucrezia incestuous relation mentioned again
sdekjfef,qk,dzqkdj
And they had this 'game' where the whores had to pick up chestnuts
but not with their hands
or their mouths
ahem
OH COME ON
I JUST ATE
REALLY?
REALLY??
............... :|
SORRY
THEY HAD FUCKED UP IDEAS OF ENTERTAINMENT
Also they gave prizes out to the men who could fuck the highest number of whores that night as well
her 3rd husband seems soooo motivated to get her out of rome
it's...thrilling
/sarcasm off
ŏ_ŏ
oh gosh, that face is so cute, Bekka xD
:Þ it was either that or draw me making the same face
haha
I think I'm going to go to the store and get juice.
About Cesare....Idk when cause I skipped a page, but probably when Lucrezia went to her husband's place
"only gold and jewels" could be seen on him, mounting a horse which looked like it "had wings".
/pffffffrrrrrrrrrrrt
LOL
Ahahahaha
I know at some point he wanted to impress someone, so wore a doublet with a collar encrusted with diamonds
whuuuut
I need to find out who he wanted to impress...
it could be Charlotte d'aragon?
He wanted to marry her at some point
Possibly!
Ok going to stop here tonight =u=
conclusion of the day:
Lucrezia is buhyoo
she is almost always described as gracious and kind, sometimes religious (in that she feared God..and other subtilities my
subtleties* not subtilities eAe
that
SHE IS BUHYOO
my brain didn't catch on. Also, I didn't mean to hit Enter
SO BUHYOO
Thank you for sharing all this with me <33333
Aww You're welcome <333 :3
I'm almost halfway through the book now and I'll probably finish by Thursday afternoon :3
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
<3333333333333333333333333333333333
back
Hi~ <3
I got truffle-dipped macaroons
and brea
ijaehfa;j
bread
and two things of juice
:3
omg
macaroons
you are so lucky
all I have is a terrible headache
yep <3
I don't know when I'll be able to handle eating the macaroons, though
my throat feels like it's coated in broken glass ;A;
made even worse by my uncontrollable habit of singing in the car
>.<
Nooooooo
/sends you medicine
/medicine magically appears in cupboard
oh hey
there it is
now it'll hurt less when I yell at Adolf to SHUT UP
because he's being ridiculously talkative now
ADOLF BE QUIET
o_O
that
actually worked
KITTY YOU ARE MAGICAL
8DDDD
I CAN SPEAK TO ANIMALS
EVEN THROUGH THE INTERNET
PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER
I KNEW I HAD A POWER
I JUST KNEW IT
8D
oh godddddddddddddd how do you get rid of headaches?
aside from painkillers, obviously
there's a pressure point between your thumb and forefinger
if you squeeze it quite hard for a few minutes, depending on the headache, it should subside
Faustina
partage
Faustina
partage
right there
Faustina
partage
using your thumb works best, but it was hard to take the pic doing it that way
YOU'RE AMAZING. I shall try that now.
hahaha, I just like to spread the knowledge I have :3
Also, drink water
Faustina
a
lot of the time headaches stem from dehydration
also you are very pretty :3
just so you know <3
<3
srdtfyguhijk
I'm making some sort of weird face
:\
With the amount I've drank today, it can't be dehydration
And even your weird face is beautiful. So there.
>.<
my weird "trying to take a webcam picture by pressing the button with my toes" face
HUSH
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
<flail>
8D <3
oh man. My girlfriend has asked me the best question on tumblr XD
what question?
Ezio and Fedrico are going to have a rap battle. Ezio has come to you to ask you to choose 3 other asscreed characters to be in his rap crew
pffft
Which 3 character do you pick?
XD
oh jeezaloo
who would you have?
I've got two so far
la Volpe and Bartolomeo
any asscreed characters, or just ones from AC2 and Brohood?
OMG ROSA
ROSA WOULD ROCK
Brohood Claudia, Bartolomeo and...Vieri de Pazzi
for comic relief
absolutely anyone, yup.
o
m
g
Vieri
YES
hahaha
oh, hey, your pressure point thing worked!
Lucrezia
a
bit
But still!
\o/
great! Yeah, it doesn't always work 100%
oh god. your ask
That is going to take some serious consideration
>:]
You fiend.
Nice question, though!
thank you, thank you
:3
it's just so hard to answer /sobs
I can't even decide on who I want there!
Bwahahaha!
So far I have Ezio and Luc
XD
of course
and Luc is only there because she's cute
hahahahaha
and because you're obsessed with her
I MEAN WHAAAT?
XD
WHAT NO
HOW DARE YOU
SLANDER
XD
I will now attempt to do a real-life adaptation of the trollface
oh god
XD
U MAD?
Ahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaha
GOD I LOVE OYU
AND YOU
HAHAHA
Okay, now I want to see you do other ones 8D
y u no guy next~
HAHAHA
okay
hang on
Y U DO DIS?
8DDDDDDDDDDDDD
AWESOME
OKAY RAGE GUY
CHEATING
I need a reference!
ffffuuuuu
I can't get my eyes to go in opposite directions
Ahahahaha XD
How are you cute even when you're doing that?
<facepalm> I don't know
MAGIC