His expression darkens further upon entering the house, his eyes glinting with a strange light that hadn't been seen for the better part of

a century. He begins looking for China.

((KJDSNGFSDNJKFDGJKNH))

((KNJDSJKNGDFKJNHDFGSLJKGFHFGHJ;GFHGH))

((LSDHF ))

((/SEIZES))

jumps upright when he hears the door slam open. He quickly debates grabbing a weapon, but it might be Korea and that wouldn't end well.

Well, he doesn't NEED a weapon if it's an intruder, anyway. He walks quickly but quietly to the source of the noise, peering around the

corner to see--oh god.

swallows thickly and stands up straight before he steps out. "What are you doing? You could knock, you know."

((bumps for Japan))

((Ah, so...I apologize in advance for what's about to happen...^^; ))

turns his burning glare towards China before walking up to him and shoving him up against the wall.

forces a harsh kiss on him, still pinning him with a vice grip.

((Sorryhadthisplannedforawhilewantedtosurprisedon'thurtme *hides*))

loses the color in his face when Kiku starts towards him with *that look*. His breath hitches in his throat when he's pushed against the

wall, and for a moment he's sure for all the world that Kiku's hands will go for his throat. Before he can try to defend himself, the other

is on him, and...

...What?

For a second, he thinks he must be asleep, and this is a twisted cross of his best and worst dreams. But the pain of Kiku's grip is very

real; this is really happening. A high, strangled noise escapes his throat as he tries to remember how to breathe, and he yields to the

other's mouth. With a harsh, shaking breath, he returns the kiss, desperate not to lose this moment because he *knows* that, once it's over,

he'll have to pay for it. But he *can't move* and that panicked voice in the back of his head won't stop, reminding him of things he wants

to forget--

"Kiku--" he barely says against his lips, making an effort to push him off with his body. "You're hurting me--"

immediately pulls his face away, but continues to pin China to the wall. He ignores what China is saying entirely, and focuses his stare on

he man once more, sneering slightly. "...am I?" He asks, dropping the man in one swift motion. He leans towards China. "Korea texted me...

...about you two." He whispered, sounding almost as though he could be amused.

staggers and almost his the floor, drunk off adrenaline for...*so* many different reasons. He's still in a haze from the kiss, but he

finally processes his words. "What?" he voice is much weaker than he intends for it to be and he actually shakes his head a little,

frustrated with himself. "About..." OH.

His first reaction is panic; he doesn't want people to think they're together--he doesn't want *Kiku* to think they're together, and this is

apparently the cause for Kiku showing this side of him. But then a more rational, and infinitely more bitter thought crosses his mind: What

concern is it of his? He narrows his eyes as he pushes himself up (with the help of the wall) to his full height. "So, what? You hear some

rumor from Yong Soo, and that means you can burst in my house and treat me like some sort of criminal?"

narrows his eyes, as well and steps back to stare at China. "Like some sort of...I do *not* want you to be with him." He hisses, pushing

China against the wall again and thrusting a hand violently up the man's shirt, and kissing him even harder than before.

hisses in a harsh breath and stiffens; he can feel his face, his ears, his neck burn. He's frozen for a moment, and he almost gives in

again, but he gathers himself and pushes at Japan with both hands against his chest. "I'm *not*! And if you'd *listen* to me you'd know as

much without getting so upset!" He's panting, any composure draining away for hurt and anger. This is not not not how he imagined this to

happen. "Honestly, can't you do *any*thing without force?!"

((Answer: no XDDD))

stops what he had been doing, but grabs both of China's wrists and slams his arms against the wall to keep him from using them. He leans

his body against China's, but simply stares at him for one long moment. "Why would he tell me that you are together if you are not?"

growls and shoves at him again, not succeeding in getting him off but still expressing his refusal to be intimidated. He tells himself that

he will give him a cold, brief answer, but that goes out the window the second he opens his mouth. "Because I kissed him. I lost it when

you heard me, and I got scared, and I got *drunk*, and he came and he was *nice* to me, Kiku, he was *nice*, dammit, and for a second I

thought that *maybe* I could do it, maybe I could actually *be with somebody* and finally move on but I CAN'T, Kiku, and I KNOW what I would

do to him because I've already done it to anyone else I've ever thought I could love, anyone I ever tried to be with and HURT because all I

could ever think about was YOU, you stupid, selfish bastard!" He gasps for breath, in tears now and *hating* himself for it. Then it really

sinks in that he actually *said that*, out *loud*, and he curses and curses his inability to stand his ground. He lowers and shakes his head

harshly, pushing at him again, harder this time.

((DFDLGKNFGKJONGHLNJDGHLNOGF))

lets go of him abruptly, watching him fall to the ground impassively. "...what are you talking about?" He says with a sneer.

catches himself on his hands, not really feeling the need to get back up, and keeping his head turned down. He feels even *more* frustrated

with that response, after pouring his heart out--against all of his better judgment, as well, and he gives a dry, bitter scoff. "Why do you

think they ended so badly? Why do you think I avoided you after that text--'you talk in your sleep'?" He finally looks up at him, his

expression still bitter, still angry, but resigned at the same time, and he makes the hollow outline of a laugh. "It's not the first time

it's happened!" He throws his hands out in frustration. "I'm not going to give Yong Soo a relationship with someone who's in love with

somebody else. He doesn't deserve that, and I've given up on moving past this. You're absolutely right in what you said back then, Kiku: if

things were going to get better, they would have a long time ago."

hardens his glare and crouches down to get eye level with China. "Hn...well, then, if you want me so badly..." He shoves China

towards the floor, crawling over him. "Why don't you just take me?" He says, still looking furious as he goes for China's mouth again.

freezes up again and takes in a deep, sharp breath, allowing himself to fully absorb the feeling only briefly before putting a hand on

Kiku's shoulder--first he grips onto him, then he gathers himself enough to push at him once more, panting as he breaks away and he can't

help but to cry again. "You wouldn't even bother with me if you didn't feel *threatened*! You're the way you get when your *power* is

called into question, and when you get it out of your system you're gonna run away," his voice becomes more raw and desperate and choked by

the word, "you're gonna *leave* and I'll be alone again!"

holds China's arms above his head again and shoves a tongue into his mouth, this time, bringing his thigh between China's legs. "You said

it yourself- there's nothing to feel threatened about, right? So...I don't feel threatened." He mutters and grabs at China's shirt to rip it

off.

to point out to him that this rage he's let take over is a direct result from feeling threatened, but his attention is quickly called away

by the tongue slipping into his mouth. He complies, squeezing his eyes shut and forcing more tears out as he does. For a brief moment he

his hands free for the sole reason of holding onto KIku, afraid he'll disappear if he doesn't. But then the leg comes between his and his

shirt is being tugged, and this is NOT the level on which he's trying to communicate. He musters all of his concentration, his years of

experience with this man and his horrible mood swings (to put it lightly), and he desperately tries to come up with a way to calm him down.

Well, if he doesn't want to listen to words, then he'll make his point otherwise. He summons all of his self-control to slow down his own

breathing, and he slowly--VERY slowly, so as not to anger him more, pulls away from the kiss. His eyes slide open, just a little, and he

presses his lips up against the others', as gently and tenderly as he can without being chaste.

freezes for one long moment, completely immobile. He says nothing, but slowly begins to reciprocate at the same pace.

lets out a soft sigh at this, slowly deepening the kiss. He's immediately relieved that Kiku seems to be calming down, but it quickly

becomes more about what's happening right now. This, *this* is the kiss he wanted for so very long. Carefully he tries to slide one of his

hands free--but not too hard; he's merely testing if he'll let him, not trying to push him off.

too distracted to notice what's going on, and easily drops his hand down and away as he continues kissing the other man.

slides his newly-freed hands up Kiku's arms, then to his shoulders, then finally wrapping his arms around him to hold him close. He doesn't

know what's going to happen when they break away, and he will take this moment he's wanted for so long for all it's worth.

"Mmm," He murmurs, as he pauses in kissing the other man. "You've always been the only one...to get me so *angry*."

cannot help but crack the tiniest of sad smiles as he watches him speak; he can't help but feel a little comfort from that. (Heaven knows

there are so many things, good and bad, that only Kiku can bring out in him.) He brings his arms up higher, hooking under his shoulders, and

nuzzles his neck. "There's no need for all this," he says, barely whispers, against his ear. "I've been yours for a long time." There's

something a little painful in those words, the full weight of them hidden in his voice.

nothing, but his entire body shakes with repressed emotion. He hides his face so that China won't see his tears and nods slightly.

"...I know." He whispers quietly, his voice oddly steady. "I-I just can't..." He cuts himself off before a far more pitiful whimper can

escape his lips.

Aaand *there's* the consequence he was so terrified of. His chest tightens and he feels a horrible sinking in his stomach, almost like he's

going to be sick, as his mind finishes the rest of that statement. He grips onto Kiku tighter, closing his fingers around the fabric of his

shirt so hard they go white. Unable to breathe, he buries his face in Kiku's shoulder, shaking his head desperately, as if he can will time

to freeze, for this conversation not to happen.

does not continue his sentence, and simply stays in place, keeping his face out of sight as he trembles slightly.

Interesting novel, continue